Some Strange Olympic Sports - What's next? Really?

I try to watch bits of the Olympics every four years. I'm not a die-hard follower (I find that's difficult to do as it occurs once every four years), but I find the games to be interesting to a certain level and it's hard not to appreciate the talents being displayed before my (and others') eyes.

However, with each and every passing Olympics, it feels as if the number of "What-the-hell-was-that" sports is increasing. We've got: Racewalking, Canoeing, Modern Pentathlon, Eventing, Dressage, Trampoline, Sailing, Air Pistol/Air Rifle, BMX, Handball, Table Tennis, Rhythmic Gymnastics, Badmitten, Archery, I could go on and on. In some of the gymnastics events, it felt like I was watching the circus, with all the objects being thrown in the air and to teammates.

With some of these events, what are people really thinking about when they decide to include them in the Olympics? Do they sit around a table and brainstorm like this?

Chester: "Alright. We need ideas. Gymnastics... Go!"

Busta: "Batons!"

Lois: "Little squishy balls!"

Fernando: "Frisbees!

Louis: "Bowling balls!"

Felicia: "Mannequins!"

Chester: "Those are all excellent ideas. Let's work with all of them in separate events. We've already got the batons and, as Lois put it oh so eloquently, 'little squishy balls'. We can call the bowling-ball one the 7-10 Splits and for the mannequins, we can call it - Guys, Don't You Wish You Were A Mannequin Right Now? I'm not sure yet what we'll call the frisbee one or even how we'll go about these events. That will be your assignment. With all of your ideas now on the table - I want you to think up different ideas of how to run these specific games and we'll talk about them at 8 am sharp tomorrow. Sound good? Good."

Before the next Summer Games, I may write a few ideas of my own and send them to the necessary people. Some of the games that are immediately springing to mind are:

Dress Like a Pheasant For Dick Cheney's Gun

Racemoonwalking

Tennis - Ping Pong Style (standing on the table)

Fore Helmet (people standing in a driving range wearing helmets as people swing away)

Croquet

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Boycotting jukeboxes because of TouchTunes

I love music and enjoy hitting the bar(s) over the weekend, so naturally, when the mood strikes me, I've never been coy about playing some songs on the jukebox. This past Thursday, a friend of mine turned 50, so several friends of her's, including myself, all met up to celebrate the occasion. At around 9:30, a friend of mine and I both chipped in $5 to play some songs on the jukebox. Four hours and 231 skips later, we gave up on hearing the songs we had selected, and went home knowing we had just wasted $5. This wasn't the first time such a thing had happened to me (and many others), and due to that, I'll be boycotting jukeboxes. Why? The scam known as TouchTunes. You see, here's how the plot typically breaks down. A person (or group of people) downloads the TouchTunes app on his/her phone, consumes one too many adult beverages, and due to this, has less care for spending extra money to hear the songs of their choosing right NOW. That's the thing with TouchTun...

The difference between "looking" and "checking out"

I may be way off with these numbers, but it's my approximation that at least 75% of individuals whom are involved in a serious relationship feel it's perfectly acceptable to "check out" members of the opposite sex they're not involved with. Meanwhile, approximately 25% either don't feel this is acceptable or aren't sure about the matter. I hadn't thought about this matter for a while, but since I've been dating a woman for about 8 months, the topic has been pondered about some. When reading or hearing others discuss this very issue, I often times hear comments similar to the following: "It's human nature to look." "There's nothing wrong with checking others out. I'm sure he/she does it too!" "It's fine to do it. Just don't tell your boyfriend/girlfriend about it or do it in front of them!" "It's natural to find people attractive." When observing the array of comments, I i...

The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

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