Fairly recently, the National Rifle Association updated their "National Organizations With Anti-Gun Policies" list. It's quite the lengthy list, which includes the names of: Organizations (141 of them), celebrities (269), corporations (41), national figures (27), journalists (37), and media outlets (23). Yeah, I'm thinking an added definition of the word "paranoia" in the dictionary could sprout due to this.
What are some of these 538 names listed by the NRA?
American Academy of Pediatrics - The NRA should be fearful of doctors, for they are the ones whom treat people suffering from gunshot wounds. Then again, as Lieutenant Frank Drebin (courtesy of Leslie Nielsen) said in The Naked Gun when Jane Spencer (Priscilla Presley) stated "This world is such a violent place.," "If it wasn't, I'd be out of a job." So, perhaps the NRA shouldn't be too fearful after all...
National Organization on Disability - The NRA should also be fearful of the disabled, especially those whom were disabled via gunshot. Of course, as many NRA members like to say, "Guns don't kill people, people do," they'd also likely declare, "Guns don't disable people, people do." Indeed... For the cause of the wound was a person's magical finger - the gun had absolutely nothing to do with it. Excuse me for a moment while I chug Jack Daniels straight from the bottle and when I'm passed out on a neighbor's lawn, completely naked, and am taken away by the cops, I'll just say, "Occifers, I'm not drunk. It wasn't the liquor! It was my magical superpower hands!" Yeah, that's going to persuade them. If I say that, they'll think I'm high as well as drunk.
National SAFE KIDS Campaign - An organization looking to keep kids safe? This can't be good. Whether the NRA wants to believe it or not, like George W. Bush and scrabble, kids and guns usually don't mix well. The NRA's philosophy of more guns, less crime doesn't work as well when it comes to kids. It's not like after some children are shot and killed, the NRA stands up and says, "If more kids had guns, there would be less such crimes. Kids - for Christmas, we want you to ask Santa Claus for AK-47s. Just remember that they're not toys. You're welcome, America."
Police Foundation - Why in the world would cops be anti-gun? They're the ones attempting to prevent crime. Maybe they know something the NRA doesn't - that more guns doesn't equal less crime. It seems like pretty common sense from my vantage point. The NRA tends to disagree, however. While they're at it, they may want to make the following statements: "More alcohol consumption equals less alcohol-related car accidents! More fried fast-food consumption equals less obesity! More unprotected sex equals less pregnancies! More listening to us equals a more smarter public!" Right...
Southern Christian Leadership Conference - What? I thought Jesus was pro-gun all the way! I remember reading in the book of Glock, chapter 1, verses 1 through 3, Jesus said, "I know I may have said to turn the other cheek in the past, but the new Jesus doesn't turn no stinking cheeks. If someone wrongs you, you take out a semiautomatic weapon and blast his ass to thy kingdom come! Amen." A 'fricking' men is right!
Boyz II Men - Yes, the '90s group who did such songs as "Motownphilly," "End of the Road," "It's So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday," and "I'll Make Love to You," should definitely be feared by the NRA. When the NRA discovered that "I'll Make Love to You" wasn't about the men in the band wanting to fornicate with a gun, this proved they were anti-gun and all gun rights' enthusiasts should protest their music.
Geraldo - So, a Fox News personality is anti-gun, eh? I'm guessing it's all about image and the mustache. After taking one glance at Geraldo's mustache, the NRA cringed, said they wanted nothing to do with the man, and therefore cast him off as being anti-gun, even though the man's mustache is so powerful, its shot and killed four people whom were wearing hoodies in broad daylight.
The Temptations - Yes, the 1960s group who did the songs "My Girl" and "Get Ready" aren't well-liked by the NRA. The average age of the musicians currently with the group is a little under 60. Perhaps the NRA is fearful that before long, some members of this group will soon turn nursing homes anti-gun. As the NRA would say, "The more cranky elders that have guns, the less shootings there will be."
Hallmark Cards - Hallmark has always been kind of anti-gun. When's the last time you saw a Hallmark card celebrating a wife's birthday that read, "Happy Birthday! I hope your day is a great one! I love you so much, almost as much as my gun! How I'd like to please you on your birthday by firing my gun inside of you. No, not the gun I was talking about before. You know which gun I'm talking about now, right? You call it a shrinking mini-pistol. Anyway, Happy Birthday! Bang! Bang!" How romantic...
Ben & Jerry's Homemade Inc. - I think this has more to do with the fact that there are two guys' names attached to the ice cream than anything else. If it were called "Blasting & Exploding Homemade Inc.," I think NRA would be okay with it. Ben and Jerry's, though? Even though members of the NRA like to compare the sizes of their guns with other guys and see how far and accurate their shooting with them is, that name is a little too gay even for them.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/02/01/nra-anti-gun-policies-list_n_2600096.html
http://nraila.org/Issues/FactSheets/Read.aspx?ID=15
http://www.livedash.com/transcript/the_naked_gun/8568/CMTVP/Wednesday_May_05_2010/286207/
What are some of these 538 names listed by the NRA?
American Academy of Pediatrics - The NRA should be fearful of doctors, for they are the ones whom treat people suffering from gunshot wounds. Then again, as Lieutenant Frank Drebin (courtesy of Leslie Nielsen) said in The Naked Gun when Jane Spencer (Priscilla Presley) stated "This world is such a violent place.," "If it wasn't, I'd be out of a job." So, perhaps the NRA shouldn't be too fearful after all...
National Organization on Disability - The NRA should also be fearful of the disabled, especially those whom were disabled via gunshot. Of course, as many NRA members like to say, "Guns don't kill people, people do," they'd also likely declare, "Guns don't disable people, people do." Indeed... For the cause of the wound was a person's magical finger - the gun had absolutely nothing to do with it. Excuse me for a moment while I chug Jack Daniels straight from the bottle and when I'm passed out on a neighbor's lawn, completely naked, and am taken away by the cops, I'll just say, "Occifers, I'm not drunk. It wasn't the liquor! It was my magical superpower hands!" Yeah, that's going to persuade them. If I say that, they'll think I'm high as well as drunk.
National SAFE KIDS Campaign - An organization looking to keep kids safe? This can't be good. Whether the NRA wants to believe it or not, like George W. Bush and scrabble, kids and guns usually don't mix well. The NRA's philosophy of more guns, less crime doesn't work as well when it comes to kids. It's not like after some children are shot and killed, the NRA stands up and says, "If more kids had guns, there would be less such crimes. Kids - for Christmas, we want you to ask Santa Claus for AK-47s. Just remember that they're not toys. You're welcome, America."
Police Foundation - Why in the world would cops be anti-gun? They're the ones attempting to prevent crime. Maybe they know something the NRA doesn't - that more guns doesn't equal less crime. It seems like pretty common sense from my vantage point. The NRA tends to disagree, however. While they're at it, they may want to make the following statements: "More alcohol consumption equals less alcohol-related car accidents! More fried fast-food consumption equals less obesity! More unprotected sex equals less pregnancies! More listening to us equals a more smarter public!" Right...
Southern Christian Leadership Conference - What? I thought Jesus was pro-gun all the way! I remember reading in the book of Glock, chapter 1, verses 1 through 3, Jesus said, "I know I may have said to turn the other cheek in the past, but the new Jesus doesn't turn no stinking cheeks. If someone wrongs you, you take out a semiautomatic weapon and blast his ass to thy kingdom come! Amen." A 'fricking' men is right!
Boyz II Men - Yes, the '90s group who did such songs as "Motownphilly," "End of the Road," "It's So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday," and "I'll Make Love to You," should definitely be feared by the NRA. When the NRA discovered that "I'll Make Love to You" wasn't about the men in the band wanting to fornicate with a gun, this proved they were anti-gun and all gun rights' enthusiasts should protest their music.
Geraldo - So, a Fox News personality is anti-gun, eh? I'm guessing it's all about image and the mustache. After taking one glance at Geraldo's mustache, the NRA cringed, said they wanted nothing to do with the man, and therefore cast him off as being anti-gun, even though the man's mustache is so powerful, its shot and killed four people whom were wearing hoodies in broad daylight.
The Temptations - Yes, the 1960s group who did the songs "My Girl" and "Get Ready" aren't well-liked by the NRA. The average age of the musicians currently with the group is a little under 60. Perhaps the NRA is fearful that before long, some members of this group will soon turn nursing homes anti-gun. As the NRA would say, "The more cranky elders that have guns, the less shootings there will be."
Hallmark Cards - Hallmark has always been kind of anti-gun. When's the last time you saw a Hallmark card celebrating a wife's birthday that read, "Happy Birthday! I hope your day is a great one! I love you so much, almost as much as my gun! How I'd like to please you on your birthday by firing my gun inside of you. No, not the gun I was talking about before. You know which gun I'm talking about now, right? You call it a shrinking mini-pistol. Anyway, Happy Birthday! Bang! Bang!" How romantic...
Ben & Jerry's Homemade Inc. - I think this has more to do with the fact that there are two guys' names attached to the ice cream than anything else. If it were called "Blasting & Exploding Homemade Inc.," I think NRA would be okay with it. Ben and Jerry's, though? Even though members of the NRA like to compare the sizes of their guns with other guys and see how far and accurate their shooting with them is, that name is a little too gay even for them.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/02/01/nra-anti-gun-policies-list_n_2600096.html
http://nraila.org/Issues/FactSheets/Read.aspx?ID=15
http://www.livedash.com/transcript/the_naked_gun/8568/CMTVP/Wednesday_May_05_2010/286207/
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