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Who likes abusive relationships? Just ask Republican New Hampshire legislator Mark Warden...

Republican New Hampshire state legislator, Mark Warden, just recently had some interesting words for the Concord Monitor, where he stated the following with regard to abusive relationships:

"Some people could make the argument that a lot of people like being in abusive relationships. It's a love-hate relationship. It's very, very common for people to stick around with somebody they love who also abuses him or her."

Sure, some people "could" make that argument, but they'd be idiots for doing so. It's fairly common for abused individuals to "stick around with somebody" not because they enjoy the abuse, but because through this abuse, their confidence and self-image have taken serious beatings as well, and they wind up feeling as though they deserve the abuse. Many also fear leaving the abuser, fearful that this will lead to even more severe beatings or even death. Based on Mr. Warden's comments, it appears as though his brain cells have taken quite the beating through the years as well.

With Mr. Warden's logic, expect him to make the following declarations at some point in the future:

- "Some Major League baseball teams like to lose. Look at the Chicago Cubs and how many years they've been losing. It's fun for them. They get paid to play a game and do everything in their power to lose every time. It's admirable in a way. I imagine everyone wishes they could lose more. I know I do, as would my state, and the rest of the country."

- "Some people like getting tripped. I know this because every Thursday afternoon, I run hurdles at my old high school. I just run right into and trip over the hurdles. I fall flat on my face after each and every hurdle, and am left with another scrape or bruise. This makes me feel like a real man - like John Wayne, Clint Eastwood, or Donald Trump. Sure, I'm typically carried by people onto a stretcher and taken to the nearest hospital, but whenever a sexy nurse (male or female) asks me what happened, I smile nice and wide with a few teeth missing, knowing that means they want me."

- "Some people like getting fired. It's nice to leave the workplace not knowing if you'll be able to support yourself or your family, to not know if you'll be living on the street before too long, or if you'll make any new friends while sleeping in a trash can. That mystery fascinates many people, to the extent where they wake up one morning and say, 'You know what? I'm going to punch my boss in the face, moon him, and flip him off while calling his wife a bigger slut than that porn star I watched this weekend - Cinnamon Itches. We'll see how he likes that and what my next exciting venture will be!"

- "Some people like getting run over by cars. There's nothing that gets your adrenaline pumping more than staring down a hummer, before getting hit and suddenly staring up at it. It's amazing all the sympathy you receive while in the hospital, not being able to move, speak, or even think much - assuming you're still alive, of course. It's just you and the machine. Will they pull the plug or not? If so, when? Will I even know what's happening if it does get pulled? The possibilities are endless, which is what makes this such a fun experiment! Well, the possibilities are endless until the plug is pulled, I suppose, but what a ride!"

- "Some people like getting herpes. This is the real reason why unprotected orgies have become so frequent and especially in this nation's capital. In New Hampshire, all the male representatives here have an ongoing bet on who will become the new face for Valtrex. With more partners and more unprotected sex with those partners, we raise the chance of contracting herpes and becoming the face for Valtrex. It's a very exciting time here. Sure, this has resulted in more unwanted pregnancies than we have sunny days here, but it'll be worth it in the end. Once people associate my name and face with Valtrex, my life's goal will be met."

In light of Mr. Warden's asinine comments, I think it's now safe to say that some people like being idiots...

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/02/27/mark-warden-new-hampshire_n_2773889.html

Comments

  1. Hahahahaaaa!!!! SO glad I found you, your writing is terrific!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks. Be sure to spread the good word. We struggling, aspiring artists need all the help we can get! Well, I should make a few exceptions to whom the before-mentioned "word" should be spread: George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, anyone affiliated with Fox News (other than Shepard Smith), Rush Limbaugh, Donald Trump, drunk NASCAR fans, Forrest Gump, any of Mitt Romney's multiple personalities, or the cast from the old television series "Touched By An Angel."

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