Unless something crazy happens in the next couple days, this will be the first Valentine's Day in quite some time where I will be involved with someone. There's really only been one other woman I was involved with during this holiday and that occurred over a decade ago. Oddly enough, my feelings about Valentine's Day have been extremely consistent through the years, with my dating status being completely irrelevant.
I'm just going to come right out and say it - I cannot stand Valentine's Day. I couldn't stand it a decade or so ago when I was seeing a woman for a couple years. I couldn't stand it when I was single. I can't stand it now that I've been seeing someone for going on six months. I have a feeling I won't be able to stand it for my remaining years.
I know, I know. Feel free to hurl the Grinch-esque labels at me, call me cheap, describe me as a whiner, or as being anti-romance. People can say whatever they want about guys whom don't like Valentine's Day. All I can say is I think my reasons for despising Valentine's Day are much more reasonable and well thought-out than the reasons given by my polar opposites whom love the day more than any other.
Honestly, why do we need a day on the calendar designated to celebrating love? How can we truly designate one day as being THE day we're obligated to feel a certain sense of love we wouldn't on any other day, and to illustrated this "love" by showering another with traditional gifts such as roses, chocolates (cheap chocolates), a stuffed bear, and a greeting card? How can we force this feeling on one particular day? What if a couple feels these emotions to a greater extent on March 2nd, April 19th, and October 31st? What would make it wrong for them to celebrate their own Valentine's Day on said dates? Why would it be considered wrong by some for a guy to express his love to a woman for 364 days of the year, but to not go all out on February 14th? Why should a woman feel extra special when a guy stops by a convenience store on his way to her place on this very holiday, buying her roses she may not necessarily like (yes, I know women whom don't particularly like roses), cheap chocolates she may not like (I also know women whom don't like chocolates, especially the cheap kind), a stuffed animal she may not like (I honestly don't know many full-grown women whom have a fondness for teddy bears), and a greeting card where another person is the author of the expressive words her boyfriend/husband is handing her, most likely in hopes that he'll get laid that night? Yes, numerous surveys have shown that a majority of men go all out like this on Valentine's Day, simply because they see themselves as having a better chance of getting laid. Why can't a couple celebrate love in a more genuine manner than this?
I've also seen people use this holiday as a reminder day. They kind of circle the day on the calendar and see it as a free-pass, where so long as they buy a great quantity of unthoughtful gifts, they think these types of gestures are unnecessary for the remainder of the year. As I've said previously, I sometimes think Valentine's Day is more a day for the men than it is for the women.
Like romance novels and chick flicks, Valentine's Day feels phony beyond words to me and I don't want my feelings, my love to come across as phony to a woman I'm seriously involved with. When she thinks about me or talks about me to her friends, I don't want her to mention my gestures on an overly commercialized holiday like Valentine's Day. I want her to mention all those other days when I genuinely showcased my care for her. Yet, I still feel a societal pressure to fall in line with all the other guys on February 14th, to go against my long-held beliefs on the holiday, and do what most other guys do. My girlfriend hasn't placed any such pressure on me. She too has claimed she's never really cared for the holiday, yet I've been told when women say that, they don't really mean it. So, what's a guy to do? To be like every other guy and be seen by outsiders as kind and giving, or to be different and while being looked at with scorn by outsiders, feeling good about his decision and thinking his girlfriend will respect him for it as well?
Let's be honest about this - Valentine's Day isn't a day to celebrate genuine love. It's a day guilt-trip men into buying unthoughtful gifts at a greater price than they'd normally be in exchange for it being a day of convenience on the calendar for them to showcase this "love." On the other side of things, it's a day for women to feel unappreciated due to a lack of gifts they received in comparison to other women they know, a day of competition in essence, and a day to be bought things they may not necessarily want but which they're told should make them feel special. It's a day invented by the gods of capitalism to guilt-trip people into buying unnecessary things, while telling us that this is how love should be and how it should be expressed. Nope, don't buy some of her favorite chocolates on a random day when she seems down. It's got to be Russell Stover's and on February 14th. Don't win a particular stuffed animal for her at a carnival sometime during the summer - one she actually said she liked. Nope, it has to be a stuffed bear with cupid-esque words written on it and has to be bought on/for February 14th. No, don't do plenty of research and go out of your way to find and purchase some semi-rare flowers that she said she loved. The flowers have to be roses and have to be bought on/for February 14th. Don't write a heartfelt poem and either give or read that to her at a random time. Buy a card with someone else's words on them and give that to her on February 14th. People can call me a Grinch or anti-romance all they want. I'd much rather be called an anti-romantic on February 14th and romantic on every other day, than to only be called romantic on Valentine's Day.
I'm just going to come right out and say it - I cannot stand Valentine's Day. I couldn't stand it a decade or so ago when I was seeing a woman for a couple years. I couldn't stand it when I was single. I can't stand it now that I've been seeing someone for going on six months. I have a feeling I won't be able to stand it for my remaining years.
I know, I know. Feel free to hurl the Grinch-esque labels at me, call me cheap, describe me as a whiner, or as being anti-romance. People can say whatever they want about guys whom don't like Valentine's Day. All I can say is I think my reasons for despising Valentine's Day are much more reasonable and well thought-out than the reasons given by my polar opposites whom love the day more than any other.
Honestly, why do we need a day on the calendar designated to celebrating love? How can we truly designate one day as being THE day we're obligated to feel a certain sense of love we wouldn't on any other day, and to illustrated this "love" by showering another with traditional gifts such as roses, chocolates (cheap chocolates), a stuffed bear, and a greeting card? How can we force this feeling on one particular day? What if a couple feels these emotions to a greater extent on March 2nd, April 19th, and October 31st? What would make it wrong for them to celebrate their own Valentine's Day on said dates? Why would it be considered wrong by some for a guy to express his love to a woman for 364 days of the year, but to not go all out on February 14th? Why should a woman feel extra special when a guy stops by a convenience store on his way to her place on this very holiday, buying her roses she may not necessarily like (yes, I know women whom don't particularly like roses), cheap chocolates she may not like (I also know women whom don't like chocolates, especially the cheap kind), a stuffed animal she may not like (I honestly don't know many full-grown women whom have a fondness for teddy bears), and a greeting card where another person is the author of the expressive words her boyfriend/husband is handing her, most likely in hopes that he'll get laid that night? Yes, numerous surveys have shown that a majority of men go all out like this on Valentine's Day, simply because they see themselves as having a better chance of getting laid. Why can't a couple celebrate love in a more genuine manner than this?
I've also seen people use this holiday as a reminder day. They kind of circle the day on the calendar and see it as a free-pass, where so long as they buy a great quantity of unthoughtful gifts, they think these types of gestures are unnecessary for the remainder of the year. As I've said previously, I sometimes think Valentine's Day is more a day for the men than it is for the women.
Like romance novels and chick flicks, Valentine's Day feels phony beyond words to me and I don't want my feelings, my love to come across as phony to a woman I'm seriously involved with. When she thinks about me or talks about me to her friends, I don't want her to mention my gestures on an overly commercialized holiday like Valentine's Day. I want her to mention all those other days when I genuinely showcased my care for her. Yet, I still feel a societal pressure to fall in line with all the other guys on February 14th, to go against my long-held beliefs on the holiday, and do what most other guys do. My girlfriend hasn't placed any such pressure on me. She too has claimed she's never really cared for the holiday, yet I've been told when women say that, they don't really mean it. So, what's a guy to do? To be like every other guy and be seen by outsiders as kind and giving, or to be different and while being looked at with scorn by outsiders, feeling good about his decision and thinking his girlfriend will respect him for it as well?
Let's be honest about this - Valentine's Day isn't a day to celebrate genuine love. It's a day guilt-trip men into buying unthoughtful gifts at a greater price than they'd normally be in exchange for it being a day of convenience on the calendar for them to showcase this "love." On the other side of things, it's a day for women to feel unappreciated due to a lack of gifts they received in comparison to other women they know, a day of competition in essence, and a day to be bought things they may not necessarily want but which they're told should make them feel special. It's a day invented by the gods of capitalism to guilt-trip people into buying unnecessary things, while telling us that this is how love should be and how it should be expressed. Nope, don't buy some of her favorite chocolates on a random day when she seems down. It's got to be Russell Stover's and on February 14th. Don't win a particular stuffed animal for her at a carnival sometime during the summer - one she actually said she liked. Nope, it has to be a stuffed bear with cupid-esque words written on it and has to be bought on/for February 14th. No, don't do plenty of research and go out of your way to find and purchase some semi-rare flowers that she said she loved. The flowers have to be roses and have to be bought on/for February 14th. Don't write a heartfelt poem and either give or read that to her at a random time. Buy a card with someone else's words on them and give that to her on February 14th. People can call me a Grinch or anti-romance all they want. I'd much rather be called an anti-romantic on February 14th and romantic on every other day, than to only be called romantic on Valentine's Day.
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