The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

It's being reported that the 53-year old former American Idol judge and current X Factor judge - Simon Cowell - has impregnated Lauren Silverman, who happens to be married to Cowell's "close" friend, Andrew Silverman. Mr. Cowell, how would you judge that bit of news? "That was terrible, I mean just awful." Rumor has it that Cowell will be teaming up with Dick Cheney when they go on a We're-The-Best-Friends-A-Person-Could-Ever-Have Tour, where they'll take turns shooting friends in the face and sleeping with their wives. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/07/31/simon-cowell-baby_n_3681801.html http://www.angrysimon.com/simon_quotes.html

Remember Mitt Romney's 47% comments? What kind of question is that? Of course you remember. Even if I had been in a coma during the entire duration of election season and woke up with Alzheimer's, I'd still remember. Well, unfortunately for Mitt Romney, he's appearing to be in denial about those very comments. As reported in the Washington Post , the following excerpt can be read in reporter Dan Balz's new book, Collision 2012 : [Romney] was in California and said at first he couldn't get a look at the video. His advisers were pushing him to respond as quickly as he could. "As I understood it, and as they described it to me, not having heard it, it was saying, 'Look, the Democrats have 47 percent, we've got 45 percent, my job is to get the people in the middle, and I've got to get the people in the middle,'" he said. "And I thought, 'Well, that's a reasonable thing.' ... It's not a topic I talk about in public, ...

Here's the URL to my Facebook business page. I update it fairly regularly, but still haven't put forth a great deal of effort yet in researching matters and attempting to make the most out of it. In any case, it can be perused here: http://www.facebook.com/AuthorCraigRozniecki?ref=hl Up next is my Twitter page. I'm still not 100% certain what I'm doing on there yet, but feel I'm gradually getting the hang of it and am up to 1,828 followers. I update it daily with many of my own tweets, but also by retweeting some others'. It can be found here: https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki Lastly, here's my Tumblr page, which I've neglected quite a bit recently, but if you're at all curious, you can find it at the following link: http://www.tumblr.com/blog/rozzy81

For new readers (and regular ones, I suppose), here's some information pertaining to my books. All eight of my books can be purchased in paperback form at the following site (and others): http://www.lulu.com/shop/search.ep?type=&keyWords=craig+rozniecki&x=7&y=5&sitesearch=lulu.com&q= The six books I've written and released in the past 2+ years (yes, I've been on a roll) can be purchased for much cheaper in Kindle form at the following link: http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_0_22?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=craig%20rozniecki%20kindle&sprefix=craig+rozniecki+kindle%2Caps%2C228&rh=i%3Aaps%2Ck%3Acraig%20rozniecki%20kindle As always, if you have any questions, feel free to ask me by either commenting on this blog or e-mailing me at CRozniecki@gmail.com. Unless I'm out of town, I'm typically very good at responding rather quickly.

If there's anyone who knows how to give the silent treatment, it's Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas. The man sat silently in court for seven consecutive years until this past January. In thinking about that, I wonder how in the world he got his wife interested in him - how he ever smooth-talked her. While I'll never know this information first-hand, this is what I envision when thinking about it: Setting: At a bar called Smooth As Silk and Drunk As Sh*t Virginia Lamp (Lamp-Thomas one day): "Hey, how's it going? Are you new here? What's your name? I'm Virginia, Virginia Lamp." Clarence Thomas: ::looks at her, nods his head and smiles, before taking a drink:: Lamp: "So, what do you do?" Thomas: ::sighs:: Lamp: "You're kind of quiet, huh?" Thomas: ::eyes widen:: Lamp: "I like that. I get tired of men who just can't stop yabbering on and on about stuff, especially sports, you know?" Thomas: ::n...

After signing a restrictive abortion bill, North Carolina Governor Pat McCrory decided to greet his protesters by bringing them chocolate chip cookies outside his mansion. If McCrory were on the Supreme Court, after striking down the Voting Rights Act, I have to imagine he'd bring African-American protesters watermelons and fried chicken and Latino-American protesters sombreros and margaritas. His thought-process probably went something like this: "Yes, I'm slowly stripping you of your rights and don't believe you deserve as many rights as men, but I do think you have the right to eat cookies which my lovely wife made - another woman I respect, but don't feel should have equal rights. So, is this good enough? Am I forgiven, or should I have her make some Snickerdoodles as well?" http://news.yahoo.com/north-carolina-governor-brings-cookies-protesters-abortion-law-150000064.html

It seems that more and more Congressional Republicans are threatening to shut down the federal government prior to January 1st of 2014, when most of Obamacare is slated to take effect. The only problem with that is, as the nonpartisan Congressional Research Service reported, it wouldn't work. The report said the following: "It appears that substantial [Affordable Care Act] implementation might continue during a lapse in annual appropriations that resulted in a temporary government shutdown." and [The federal government will] "be able to rely on sources of funding other than annual discretionary appropriations." and "If a government shutdown were to occur during calendar year 2014, the lapse in funding would not automatically suspend the requirement of the individual mandate. In other words, during the time period that the government is shut down, taxpayers who fall within the coverage of the individual mandate would still be accruing penalties f...

In a recent fundraising email, the South Carolina Republican Party referred to the IRS "scandal" as "Obama's Gestapo."  In response, Jamie Harrison - chairman of the South Carolina Democratic Party - said South Carolina Republicans were "equating its political opponents to the Nazi police that oversaw the imprisonment and mass-murder of millions of innocent people." After hearing Harrison's (and others') complaints about the comparison, South Carolina Republican executive director Alex Stroman said this: "If anyone was upset, we certainly regret it. Our goal was to highlight the IRS's questionable tactics and their decision to selectively scrutinize and target certain groups, including those in South Carolina." That's always a very smooth way of operating things. Step 1: Compare someone to Hitler and/or a group of people to Nazis Step 2: After receiving the inevitable complaints, send a half-arsed apology about the...

ESPN football analyst Christ Mortensen earlier reported that NFL vice president of officiating Dean Blandino told the Wall Street Journal the following with regard to the fast-paced offense Philadelphia Eagles' new head coach Chip Kelly plans to run with his team: "We have to make sure teams understand that they don't control the tempo, our officials do. We're going through our normal ball mechanics, we aren't going to rush [unless] it's in the two minute drill." That makes sense, because that's what fans are really wanting to see are officials holding up the tempo of a game over a new style of offense which attempts to speed things up a bit. I think what Blandino is really saying is this: "Look - some of our refs are in good shape, but let's face it - they're not in near as good of shape as NFL players like LeSean McCoy, Michael Vick, and DeSean Jackson. While Chip Kelly may want to run his offense at a speed not ever seen before,...

A friend of mine flew in from Texas for business yesterday, so he and I met up at a local pub for a couple drinks and to chat. As the night progressed and the quantity of beverages people consumed increased, things started to become quite interesting on the conversation front. Seated next to me was an older man I had never met before and seated near him was one of the two owners of the place, with whom I've butted heads with in the past regarding some things - namely politics. When the owner went outside for a smoke, the man next to me began talking about the national gun debate and started his tangent by saying, "I've been an NRA member since I was 18-years old..." When I initially heard this, I thought to myself, "Oh boy, this is going to be an interesting conversation. Perhaps I should bring in my most recent book - LOL at the GOP - Volume 3: Guns Don't Kill, Cars Don't Drive, and Ovens Don't Bake ." Oddly enough, though, this NRA member i...

Anthony Weiner is back and better than ever! Remember this guy? He was the New York congressman who had to resign due to a sexting scandal in June of 2011. Since then, Weiner has decided to run for the mayor of New York, and wouldn't you know it, but reports have surfaced of the porn-star wannabe engaging in the lovely art of sexting with a 22-year old woman approximately a year after he resigned from office. While he did warn us that such reports would likely surface, he also alleged he was a changed man prior to this new sexting partner or whatever one calls them. Nightlife site The Dirty reported the following information on Weiner, who went by the name Carlos Danger: "I've been in contact with a young female girl who wishes to remain Anonymous. She was lured by Anthony Weiner post scandal via Facebook. they had a relationship for 6 months and she believed they were in love. Anthony Weiner like a true sex predator promised Anonymous many things like a job at Politic...

Have you ever wanted to ask an unbiased person(s) about something just so you'd feel as if the feedback you received was 100% genuine, so you posted a question on Yahoo? I did that once about two years ago and I was tentative about it then. Since that time, however, I've read a number of such questions posted on Yahoo, several comments, and the more I read these threads, the more I have to shake my head and ponder, "What in the world was I thinking?" Many of the questions posed put my face into the WTF position. Just as many answers to these questions provide my face with an expression never seen before, not even by me, since I don't have a mirror handy during these moments. What types of questions and answers am I talking about? Feast your eyes on the following links and see for yourselves! Enjoy, but be ready to shake your head a lot, sigh multiple times, facepalm yourselves at least once, and utter the words, "What the f**k?" quite frequently. h...

Missouri state Senate Majority Whip and man most targeted on dart boards by women - Brian Nieves - just recently got into another lovely abortion debate. After being provided examples of medical reasons why women may opt for an abortion in the third trimester (including heart failure, diabetes, renal disease, hypertension, and severe fetal deformities), Nieves responded by saying, "'Life of the Mother?' Your own argument proves it is a matter of convenience!" Yes, a third-trimester abortion due to health complications is obviously a matter of convenience. The most common such complication is what is called an ectopic pregnancy. Such pregnancies are life-threatening and occur between one in 40 to one in every 100 pregnancies. Again, such pregnancies are only matters of "convenience." It really boggles my mind how so many far-right Republican men pretend to know more about the female body than they or doctors do. What such individuals are implying is tha...

In the past week, I engaged in the following back-and-forth via Twitter: Me: "Rumor has it there will be a sequel to The #Wedding #Crashers. It will star John #Boehner, Mitch #McConnell, & be called #America Crashers." Someone's response: "I hear they're making a sequel to JFK...." Yes, this individual seemed to think it was funny to joke about the assassination of President Barack Obama - our first black president no less. As tempted as I was to reply, I didn't do so. I felt, with a response like that, he was obviously trying to get under my skin (not literally, thank goodness), and prompt an angry reply, so I decided to not give him what he wanted. In any case, though, I find it pretty sad and pathetic to joke around about the assassination of a president - especially one with such historical significance. As much as I couldn't stand the guy, I'd never have joked about former President George W. Bush being assassinated. As much as h...

I live in an area which is kind of a hybrid of suburbia and the country. Most of the people in this neighborhood are older than me, married, and with fairly young kids. Cliques here appear to have been formed many years ago. When I came rolling into town about 5 years ago, while the people here seemed nice for the most part, I definitely felt like an outcast. What I'm probably most known for in this neighborhood is walking my Siberian husky multiple times every day. It's during these times when I'm at a loss of when to truly interact with some people. If someone is jogging or walking and wave, I know that, like me, he/she is probably in an exercise-type zone and a hello is just a hello. However, there have been other times when someone has waved during my walk and actually wanted to chat for a couple minutes. Then there have been a number of times when a person waves, asks, "How's it going?," without really meaning that. So, how is a person - especially a ne...

I love my family and I love old people (okay, VERY mature people - I'll be nice), but there are times I have to sit back and wonder, "Is 95% of what you talk about related to health problems?" A couple months ago, I met up with some older friends of mine at a pub. One of them had been going through a lot on the health-front, so I asked him how that was all going. I'll never forget his response. He said, "The one thing you should never ask an old person is, 'How are you feeling?," because you'll never hear the end of it!" Sadly, in some cases at least, that seems to be fairly accurate. Unfortunately, if I were to follow this man's advice, how on earth would I start the conversation? It's just habit anymore to ask any person, regardless of age, "How's it going?" or "What's up?" After hearing this man's before-mentioned response to such a question, while continually hearing about some family members...

Sorry for the temporary layoff, regular readers (and newbies alike). The past week has been anything but a good one for me, and I needed some time away. Between discovering one of my best friends had been using me, before confronting her on matters and being blocked in the end, to at least temporarily breaking up with my girlfriend of close to a year, to my back being all out of whack, to straining the thenar eminence muscle in my right hand, and feeling kind of burnt out, I needed some time away from the computer to relax and have some me-time. But, I'm back, and so long as my back and right hand allow me to do so, I'll be back to writing this week. Thanks for your patience. Alright, here we go...

My, wasn't that headline an attention grabber? How many guys read that, immediately clicked on it, and thought, "I'm going to discover the secret on how to find the love of my life!" or probably more accurately, thought, "I'm going to discover the secret on how to bang as many chicks as possible!" Well, sorry to disappoint you, but you won't be reading about such secrets in this blog. So, if that is what you were seeking, I suggest you run along now. ::waits for a couple minutes:: No, whether it be a friend or a friend with whom I've sought something more, I've held a certain power over women, especially in the past 4 years, I'd say. What's this power one may ask? Making them feel like world-class b*tches by always being good to them, and then when I turn around seeking their friendship or expressing my feelings for something greater when they've showcased in just about every manner that they're interested, and they turn me ...

Here's the URL to my Facebook business page. I update it fairly regularly, but still haven't put forth a great deal of effort yet in researching matters and attempting to make the most out of it. In any case, it can be perused here: http://www.facebook.com/AuthorCraigRozniecki?ref=hl Up next is my Twitter page. I'm still not 100% certain what I'm doing on there yet, but feel I'm gradually getting the hang of it and am up to 1,668 followers. I update it daily with many of my own tweets, but also by retweeting some others'. It can be found here: https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki Lastly, here's my Tumblr page, which I've neglected quite a bit recently, but if you're at all curious, you can find it at the following link: http://www.tumblr.com/blog/rozzy81

For new readers (and regular ones, I suppose), here's some information pertaining to my books. All eight of my books can be purchased in paperback form at the following site (and others): http://www.lulu.com/shop/search.ep?type=&keyWords=craig+rozniecki&x=7&y=5&sitesearch=lulu.com&q= The six books I've written and released in the past 2+ years (yes, I've been on a roll) can be purchased for much cheaper in Kindle form at the following link: http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_0_22?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=craig%20rozniecki%20kindle&sprefix=craig+rozniecki+kindle%2Caps%2C228&rh=i%3Aaps%2Ck%3Acraig%20rozniecki%20kindle As always, if you have any questions, feel free to ask me by either commenting on this blog or e-mailing me at CRozniecki@gmail.com. Unless I'm out of town, I'm typically very good at responding rather quickly.

Fox News has done it again! They've come across as more special than Forrest Gump after seven shots of tequila! A while back on their homepage, a headline to an article written by female anti-feminist Suzanne Venker, read, "To be happy, we must admit women and men aren't 'equal,'" and just below that was a picture of a lesbian couple kissing. It would have been more appropriate to have titled the "piece," "To be happy, we must admit that lesbian women and lesbian women aren't equal." After reading and re-reading that a few times, I have a feeling Forrest would have someone call him a taxi, before blurting out, "You won't believe this stuff I'm seeing and reading! I am wasted - wasted is as wasted does! Oh geez, I gotta pee." http://now.msn.com/fox-news-uses-photo-of-lela-mcarthur-and-stephanie-figarelle-wedding-in-pro-heterosexual-article

Missouri Republican State Senator and man voted least crazy person to have threatened to kill a political rival's aide - Brian Nieves - reportedly wrote the following yesterday: "Barry... I honestly wonder, and I'm being sincere about this, if liberalism is indeed a mental disorder. A person commits a heinous crime, the kind we hear about in the news, and they are not allowed to be executed but an innocent baby who is wrapped in the comfort of his/her mother's womb - Having been created by God - can be literally ripped apart, viciously murdered, and this 'Man of God' supports it?!?!?!?! WOW!!" Wow, indeed. First off, the 48-year old State Senator may want to take a sex ed class in the near future. I know when he was extremely young, his parents may have told him that babies were created by God, but what near 50-year old doesn't seem to realize yet is that he wasn't created by God. He was created by his father penetrating his mother with his din...

I had received so many requests to play the game Candy Crush Saga, that I finally gave in and gave it a gander. It looked similar to Bejeweled Blitz, which I play every so often, so I thought at worst, I'd be able to play it every now and again to kill time. Well, I'm currently on level 80 and I'm still not sure what I think about the game - only that it's addicting, I'm not 100% certain what I'm doing on some levels yet, and I find it slightly annoying that I (and other players alike) have to wait until three friends come to our aid to unlock certain levels and move forward in the game. Eh, why? It limits the amount of time a person can play the game and the overall participation by players on the site. Also, it can get slightly aggravating to constantly be asked to help unlock other players. Perhaps the game's creators knew, like with candy, how addicting the game was going to be and decided to hopefully limit hardcore addiction (CCA - Candy Crush Anon...

I found it slightly humorous to read a Facebook post yesterday, where someone I know wrote, "President Obama is the destroyer of freedom!" Upon reading that, I immediately thought to myself, "The president has destroyed our freedoms, yet for some strange reason, you obviously have the freedom to bash the president on allegedly destroying our freedoms. How ironic..."

A strange development has come about courtesy of the Buckeye Firearms Foundation in light of the U.S. Department of Justice asking police to "keep possession of all the evidence from George Zimmerman's second-degree murder trial," in all likelihood, so a federal investigation can take place on the matter. The Ohio gun group had an interesting response to these events, as they made the following statement: "The move to prevent Mr. Zimmerman from claiming his property is an unacceptable abuse of power. And the threats of federal charges on civil rights grounds is little more than blatant pandering for political gain. Moreover, based on statements he and others have made recently, Holder hopes to use this as the first step toward renewing this administration's attack on gun rights... George Zimmerman has every right to get his property back. And if Eric Holder chooses to deny Mr. Zimmerman that right, Buckeye Firearms Foundation will remedy the matter by pur...

Is it just me or does this new George Zimmerman story about him rescuing a family from a car crash sound fishy? If it is true, he should be commended for the act. However, the once 100 lbs. lighter neighborhood watch volunteer, who had trouble handling a 17-year old kid he had followed, rescued a family from a car crash after reportedly gaining 100 lbs.? Even stranger, the trapped family has been "unidentified" at this point and a lot of the details of the accident have been vague to be kind. It was a "single-car accident," involved a "blue Ford Explorer SUV," which had "left the road and rolled over," but resulted in "no reports of injuries" to the four occupants of the vehicle. Alright, so let's just assume for a second that the story is legitimate and Zimmerman was one of two men who helped the family out of their wrecked vehicle. Why is it I keep seeing conservative news outlets and talking heads report this story like it prov...

One has to love the comments made by conservative talking heads in light of President Obama's speech this past weekend regarding Trayvon Martin's death Here now are some of those very comments, along with my responses to them: Fox News' Todd Starnes: "Obama's comments today justify what I said on Hannity earlier this week. He truly is trying to tear our country apart." By admitting there's racism in this country? Was Martin Luther King trying to tear the country apart also with his "I have a dream" speech? Conservative blogger Dan Riehl: "If you ever had any doubts, Obama is the first Racist in Chief" Yes, Congressional Republicans have continually been trying to make voting rights more difficult to come by for minorities, yet President Obama is the racist for simply discussing the topic. Breitbart.com editor-in-chief Ben Shapiro: "Obama helped ignite this ginned up racial melee by saying his son would look like...

I hadn't been feeling well all week, but began recovering yesterday, fortunately. After debating whether or not to see a band perform with my parents, I opted to go - to get out of the house and see a fun band perform that I had only seen once previously. Things were going pretty well all night. The band was highly entertaining. The folks and I people-watched, especially the drunkards dancing, and as always, that was both an amusing and facepalm-inducing experience. For the band's last song, they played the Beastie Boys' classic, "You Gotta Fight For Your Right to Party!" Many women went up to the dance-floor to, well, dance. Most of the guys stood back and just observed. Toward the end of the song, some 45ish-year old woman then approached me and asked me to dance. First off, I'm not much of a dancer. Secondly, I still wasn't 100% healthy, so I felt like dancing like a sloth feels like sprinting. Thirdly, I have a girlfriend, so while it's not aga...

It humors me when a person is so bored, they'll interrupt another by asking the obvious in the hope that it will spark a conversation. For example, if I'm working on something, and a person asks me, "Are you working?," I think to myself, "No. I'm just pretending to type on the computer to avoid conversations like this one." When I'm writing and a person asks, "Are you writing something?," I want to say, "No, I'm just trying to appear busy by scribbling words on a page." I don't know anybody who likes to be interrupted while they're working, especially if they're in a work-like zone. However, it's doubly infuriating if the interruption isn't a necessary one and has the sole purpose of attempting to relieve the interrupter of his or her boredom. It's nice for others to showcase interest in what one is doing, but not while we're actually doing it. At dinner or a coffee shop, it would be welcome...

Rock star, gun rights activist, and man voted sexiest person alive only by himself - Ted Nugent - wrote an op-ed on Sunday regarding the George Zimmerman verdict, where he stated the following: "Trayvon Martin's vicious attack on George Zimmerman and Martin's tragic death have no doubt surely dragged Mr. Zimmerman through 18 months of untold emotional hell, pain, distress, anguish, fatigue, nightmares and financial ruin. Again, following the narrative of the pro-Trayvon media types and other race-baiters, if Trayvon Martin was a minor, then Trayvon Martin's parents may be held liable for the emotional pain and suffering Mr. Zimmerman has been put through for the past 18 months, and surely for the rest of his life." Just when I thought the man couldn't get any stupider, he goes and says this. Yes, Mr. Zimmerman has endured quite the emotional rollercoaster over the past 18 months, Mr. Nugent. However, let's get one thing straight here - the defendant in...

It's appearing more and more that the Republican Party fears education like Wolf Blitzer's colleagues fear a full moon. Just recently, Utah Republican State Senator Aaron Osmond wrote the following in his blog: "...I believe the time has come for us to re-evaluate what we expect of parents and the public education system, as follows: First, we need to restore the expectation that parents are primarily responsible for the educational success of their own children. That begins with restoring the parental right to decide if and when a child will go to public school. In a country founded on the principles of personal freedom and unalienable rights, no parent should be forced by the government to send their child to school under threat of fines and jail time. Second, we need to shift the public mindset to recognize that education is a not an obligation, but an opportunity to be treasured and respected. Utah’s constitution requires that we provide the opportunity for a f...

Anti-everything alleged Bible-loving demon woman - Michele Bachmann - was recently sent a massager from a conservative consultant group to aid her with her migraines. Upon closer inspection, however, it appears as though the Columbus-based Strategy Group for Media tried providing Ms. Bachmann with a massager to provide relief, pleasure, and aid of a different kind. As Buzzfeed stated: "...[He] intended to give Bachmann a vibrating head massager to help alleviate her migraines, and that the employee he sent to buy the gift accidentally purchased something that more closely resembled a sex toy - and sent it to her office." While it's unlikely that Representative Bachmann truly needed a device to provide her aid down yonder, that doesn't mean we can't have some fun with the possibility. Here are three Bachmann quotes and my new thoughts on them in light of this new bit of news: - "Why should I go and do something like that? But the Lord says, 'Be s...

Did I miss something here? Is today National Positivity Day or something? Since late this morning, a Facebook friend of mine has posted the three following statuses: "Energy flows where attention goes!! Stop wasting all your energy on how much hate there is in the world and let's focus on the positive!" "What you focus on is your reality. If you focus on all the hate or problems in the world, then hate and problems become your world! Try focusing on positive things, like love and respect! It's the law of attraction! You attract more of what you focus your attention on!" "I will always teach my babies to find the good in every person and situation!" Hmm... In knowing this person's history of Facebook statuses, I must say something smells fishy here, and no, I'm not cooking anything right now. Now, I have absolutely no problem with someone trying to change their line of perception and for the better. However, when such sentiments are...

I think the most confusing word in the English language is "love." Look no further than the dictionary for proof of that. At dictionary.com, the word love is given not 1, not 2, not 22, but 28 definitions. When a word can confuse even the dictionary, chances are it's quite the puzzling term. There's even a song by the title of, "What Is Love?" I think one reason the term is so perplexing is like with a lot of things, there are many shades of grey to it, but unlike a lot of things, it involves a great deal of emotion, and as I and many others have learned, emotion can blindside us at times and override rational thought. It's common for a person to love a friend, a family member, and a spouse, yet these forms of love are felt and expressed differently to each person. Love appears to take on a life of its own to each and every important person in our lives. So can love truly be defined at all? Is this why there are 28 definitions in the dictionary an...

My mother said the upcoming film 2 Guns looks "cute." The writers would probably be thrilled with that description: Writer #1: "So, what should we call the film?" Writer #2: "Let's go with something macho, alpha-male... How about 2 Guns ?" Writer #1: "I like it! Two guys, two guns - which can be taken in more ways than one, if you know what I mean! Ha!" Writer #2: "Exactly! If there's one thing I want people to think heading into this movie, it's that it'll be cute." Writer #1: "That can be our tagline - 2 Guns is 2 cute or something like that. We'll work on it..."

Here's the URL to my Facebook business page. I update it fairly regularly, but still haven't put forth a great deal of effort yet in researching matters and attempting to make the most out of it. In any case, it can be perused here: http://www.facebook.com/AuthorCraigRozniecki?ref=hl Up next is my Twitter page. I'm still not 100% certain what I'm doing on there yet, but feel I'm gradually getting the hang of it and am up to 1,430 followers. I update it daily with many of my own tweets, but also by retweeting some others'. It can be found here: https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki Lastly, here's my Tumblr page, which I've neglected quite a bit recently, but if you're at all curious, you can find it at the following link: http://www.tumblr.com/blog/rozzy81

For new readers (and regular ones, I suppose), here's some information pertaining to my books. All eight of my books can be purchased in paperback form at the following site (and others): http://www.lulu.com/shop/search.ep?type=&keyWords=craig+rozniecki&x=7&y=5&sitesearch=lulu.com&q= The six books I've written and released in the past 2+ years (yes, I've been on a roll) can be purchased for much cheaper in Kindle form at the following link: http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_0_22?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=craig%20rozniecki%20kindle&sprefix=craig+rozniecki+kindle%2Caps%2C228&rh=i%3Aaps%2Ck%3Acraig%20rozniecki%20kindle As always, if you have any questions, feel free to ask me by either commenting on this blog or e-mailing me at CRozniecki@gmail.com. Unless I'm out of town, I'm typically very good at responding rather quickly.

Another day has passed and another crazy quote from Michele Bachmann has been uttered. When speaking to online conspiracy giant WorldNetDaily about immigration reform, Bachmann said that Republicans "could actually lose the gavel in 2014" if the bill passed. This would happen by way of President Obama waving "his magic wand before 2014" and saying "now all of the new, legal Americans are going to have voting rights." She continued by saying this: "I'm not crying wolf here. This is working for the president. It's not working for the American people, but hey, it's great by him. He has a perpetual magic wand and nobody's given him a spanking yet and taken it out of his hand. That's what Congress needs to do -- give the president a major wake-up call. And the way we spank the president is we do it through the checkbook. We're the ones who say, "No, you can't have the money.' What's wrong with us?" Bachma...

So, I haven't truly written about how I feel regarding the ruling of the George Zimmerman/Trayvon Martin case. I also don't feel the need to rehash the same points we've heard the two sides of the argument make time and time again, so I will attempt to make a point in another manner - through satire. Setting: Prosecutor Peter Gotcha questioning the defendant Jorge Limperdick Gotcha: "So, when and where did all of this happen?" Limperdick: "Just outside of the university right after Avion's public speaking class." Gotcha: "Do you go to school at that university?" Limperdick: "I used to, but not anymore." Gotcha: "So, why were you there?" Limperdick: "To make sure everything was in order and there wasn't anything fishy going on." Gotcha: "Are you employed as a cop at the school?" Limperdick: "Not exactly, but..." Gotcha: "You answered the question. Let me get to ...

Is it just me or is there a written requirement somewhere which says, "If you're a character in a horror film, you have to be stupid"? My girlfriend and I went to see the film The Purge last night, and like with many contemporary horror films, we spent more time laughing and giving each other the why-in-the-hell-are-they-doing-this-are-they-stupid looks. Yes, I know the main intent of horror films is to frighten viewers. However, if the viewers find the script and plot so ridiculous, it's unbelievable to the point of being silly, then how will the film genuinely frighten said viewers? Here's my slightly exaggerated version of a scene from a contemporary horror film: Setting: A newly wed couple driving along the interstate, heading to Little Rock, Arkansas late at night Mr. Eugene Blockhead: "Oh, look honey. There's that man over there looking for a ride. What do you think? Should we pick him up?" Mrs. Mikayla Blockhead: "I don't k...