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The Best Friend of the Year Award goes to Simon Cowell!

It's being reported that the 53-year old former American Idol judge and current X Factor judge - Simon Cowell - has impregnated Lauren Silverman, who happens to be married to Cowell's "close" friend, Andrew Silverman.

Mr. Cowell, how would you judge that bit of news?

"That was terrible, I mean just awful."

Rumor has it that Cowell will be teaming up with Dick Cheney when they go on a We're-The-Best-Friends-A-Person-Could-Ever-Have Tour, where they'll take turns shooting friends in the face and sleeping with their wives.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/07/31/simon-cowell-baby_n_3681801.html

http://www.angrysimon.com/simon_quotes.html
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