Skip to main content

Clarence Thomas smooth-talking a woman

If there's anyone who knows how to give the silent treatment, it's Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas. The man sat silently in court for seven consecutive years until this past January.

In thinking about that, I wonder how in the world he got his wife interested in him - how he ever smooth-talked her. While I'll never know this information first-hand, this is what I envision when thinking about it:

Setting: At a bar called Smooth As Silk and Drunk As Sh*t

Virginia Lamp (Lamp-Thomas one day): "Hey, how's it going? Are you new here? What's your name? I'm Virginia, Virginia Lamp."

Clarence Thomas: ::looks at her, nods his head and smiles, before taking a drink::

Lamp: "So, what do you do?"

Thomas: ::sighs::

Lamp: "You're kind of quiet, huh?"

Thomas: ::eyes widen::

Lamp: "I like that. I get tired of men who just can't stop yabbering on and on about stuff, especially sports, you know?"

Thomas: ::nods twice::

Lamp: "So, what are you drinking?"

Thomas: ::holds up his glass for a few seconds before taking another drink::

Lamp: "That looks too strong for me. That's good, though. I like my men nice and strong. So, I know this might sound crazy, but do you wanna go out sometime?"

Thomas: ::moves eyebrows up and down::

Lamp: "I know this is going to seem sudden, but it's still early. What are you doing tonight?"

Thomas: ::reaches over, grabs her hand, and places it on his nether-region::

Lamp: "Oh my. I'm sure that would be lovely, but I don't even know your name. I may as well call you Shaft."

Thomas: ::shows her his ID::

Lamp: "Alright then, Clarence. I live pretty close to here, so just follow me, alright? Do you have any condoms?"

Thomas: ::busts out several Magnum-sized condoms::

Lamp: "Gosh, I think I'm in love. Do you feel it too?"

Thomas: "Yeah."

http://reason.com/blog/2011/02/14/justice-clarence-thomas-silent

Labels

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Boycotting jukeboxes because of TouchTunes

I love music and enjoy hitting the bar(s) over the weekend, so naturally, when the mood strikes me, I've never been coy about playing some songs on the jukebox. This past Thursday, a friend of mine turned 50, so several friends of her's, including myself, all met up to celebrate the occasion. At around 9:30, a friend of mine and I both chipped in $5 to play some songs on the jukebox. Four hours and 231 skips later, we gave up on hearing the songs we had selected, and went home knowing we had just wasted $5. This wasn't the first time such a thing had happened to me (and many others), and due to that, I'll be boycotting jukeboxes. Why? The scam known as TouchTunes. You see, here's how the plot typically breaks down. A person (or group of people) downloads the TouchTunes app on his/her phone, consumes one too many adult beverages, and due to this, has less care for spending extra money to hear the songs of their choosing right NOW. That's the thing with TouchTun...
2 comments
Read more

Trump's Lie Tally at the CNN Debate

1) "We had the greatest economy in the history of our country. We had never done so well. Every – everybody was amazed by it. Other countries were copying us." 2) "But the thing we never got the credit for, and we should have, is getting us out of that COVID mess." 3) "The only jobs he created are for illegal immigrants and bounceback jobs; they’re bounced back from the COVID." 4) "Not going to drive them higher. It’s just going to cause countries that have been ripping us off for years, like China and many others, in all fairness to China – it’s going to just force them to pay us a lot of money, reduce our deficit tremendously, and give us a lot of power for other things." (tariffs) 5) "He also said he inherited 9 percent inflation." 6) "No, he inherited almost no inflation and it stayed that way for 14 months. And then it blew up under his leadership, because they spent money like a bunch of people that didn’t know what t...
Post a Comment
Read more