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Clarence Thomas smooth-talking a woman

If there's anyone who knows how to give the silent treatment, it's Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas. The man sat silently in court for seven consecutive years until this past January.

In thinking about that, I wonder how in the world he got his wife interested in him - how he ever smooth-talked her. While I'll never know this information first-hand, this is what I envision when thinking about it:

Setting: At a bar called Smooth As Silk and Drunk As Sh*t

Virginia Lamp (Lamp-Thomas one day): "Hey, how's it going? Are you new here? What's your name? I'm Virginia, Virginia Lamp."

Clarence Thomas: ::looks at her, nods his head and smiles, before taking a drink::

Lamp: "So, what do you do?"

Thomas: ::sighs::

Lamp: "You're kind of quiet, huh?"

Thomas: ::eyes widen::

Lamp: "I like that. I get tired of men who just can't stop yabbering on and on about stuff, especially sports, you know?"

Thomas: ::nods twice::

Lamp: "So, what are you drinking?"

Thomas: ::holds up his glass for a few seconds before taking another drink::

Lamp: "That looks too strong for me. That's good, though. I like my men nice and strong. So, I know this might sound crazy, but do you wanna go out sometime?"

Thomas: ::moves eyebrows up and down::

Lamp: "I know this is going to seem sudden, but it's still early. What are you doing tonight?"

Thomas: ::reaches over, grabs her hand, and places it on his nether-region::

Lamp: "Oh my. I'm sure that would be lovely, but I don't even know your name. I may as well call you Shaft."

Thomas: ::shows her his ID::

Lamp: "Alright then, Clarence. I live pretty close to here, so just follow me, alright? Do you have any condoms?"

Thomas: ::busts out several Magnum-sized condoms::

Lamp: "Gosh, I think I'm in love. Do you feel it too?"

Thomas: "Yeah."

http://reason.com/blog/2011/02/14/justice-clarence-thomas-silent

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