While it's typically the far right-wing politicians whom I criticize for their anti-gay remarks, once in a while, I'll come across a Democratic politician who makes similar remarks and I'll criticize him (or her) all the same. That's indeed what happened when Kentucky Governor Steve Beshear made the following comment in a brief filed for the Supreme Court with regard to the state's same-sex marriage ban:
"Kentucky's marriage laws treat homosexuals and heterosexuals the same and are facially neutral. Men and women, whether heterosexual or homosexual, are free to marry persons of the opposite sex under Kentucky law, and men and women, whether heterosexual or homosexual, cannot marry persons of the same sex under Kentucky law."
Governor Beshear deserves a standing ovation of the slow-clap variety for that ridiculous statement. When reading it over again, I can hear Chris Tucker's character from the Rush Hour series, looking at the Kentucky governor and saying, "Do you understand the words that are coming out of your mouf?"
Citizens of Kentucky, relax, there aren't any marriage bans in your state! If you're straight, you can marry someone you're attracted to of the opposite sex. Just please don't ever be tempted to, for whatever reason, go against your natural urges and go the same-sex route, because that wouldn't be allowed. Lucky for you, that will never be an issue. If you're gay, you can go against your natural urges and marry someone of the opposite sex too! Sure, it might not feel right for you to do so, you may not feel a strong physical and sexual connection with the person, but hey, at least it's marriage, right? F'ing a, right!
In his own demented little mind, it appears as if Governor Beshear often visualizes the following two discussions taking place:
Setting (for both scenarios): In Governor Beshear's office
Scenario #1
Donald Trumpski: "I wanna get married."
Steve Beshear: "Okay, well, congratulations! You and Sheila have been seeing each other for a while now. It's about time you two tie the knot!"
Trumpski: "I want to marry a guy."
Beshear: "Say what? Wait, you're gay?"
Trumpski: "No, I'm straight."
Beshear: "Soooo... I'm confused. Why do you want to marry a guy?"
Trumpski: "I don't know. When you said gays and straight have equal rights, that we could all marry someone of the opposite sex, but none of us could marry someone of the same sex, it just got me to thinking; I don't want to have equal rights as gays! I want to have more rights than gays! So, yeah, I want to marry a man!"
Beshear: "I'm sorry, but you can't do that, not in this state at least."
Trumpski: "Why not? Why are you trampling on my rights as a straight man wanting to get married to another guy when you're still allowing gays to marry people of the opposite sex? That's not right!"
Beshear: "Hmm... You make some excellent points, Donny. I'll have to think this over and get back to you on the matter."
Scenario #2
Jesus Highness: "I wanna get married."
Steve Beshear: "Okay, well,l congratulations! What's the lucky woman's name?"
Highness: "Jeremy Cheekbones"
Beshear: "Oh, I see... Well, I'm afraid you can't marry him. You can marry a woman, though. Have any girlfriends?"
Highness: "I'm gay."
Beshear: "I understand that, but we don't allow same-sex marriage in this state, for heterosexuals or homosexuals. We do allow marriage between one man and one woman in this state for both heterosexuals and homosexuals, though, so there's that."
Highness: "But I'm gay."
Beshear: "Right, so, as a gay man, if you want to get married in Kentucky, it will be with a woman."
Highness: "So, if I become governor of this state one day, would you deem it to be fair or right for me to pass a law which allowed heterosexuals and homosexuals to marry someone of the same sex but not of the opposite sex?"
Beshear: "No, that'd be ridiculous!"
Highness: "But, you see, I'd be fair to both groups. Both heterosexuals and homosexuals could marry someone of the same sex, but neither homosexuals nor heterosexuals could marry someone of the opposite sex."
Beshear: "That's not fair at all! That's..."
Highness: "...exactly what you're doing."
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/04/01/kentucky-gay-marriage_n_6984678.html
"Kentucky's marriage laws treat homosexuals and heterosexuals the same and are facially neutral. Men and women, whether heterosexual or homosexual, are free to marry persons of the opposite sex under Kentucky law, and men and women, whether heterosexual or homosexual, cannot marry persons of the same sex under Kentucky law."
Governor Beshear deserves a standing ovation of the slow-clap variety for that ridiculous statement. When reading it over again, I can hear Chris Tucker's character from the Rush Hour series, looking at the Kentucky governor and saying, "Do you understand the words that are coming out of your mouf?"
Citizens of Kentucky, relax, there aren't any marriage bans in your state! If you're straight, you can marry someone you're attracted to of the opposite sex. Just please don't ever be tempted to, for whatever reason, go against your natural urges and go the same-sex route, because that wouldn't be allowed. Lucky for you, that will never be an issue. If you're gay, you can go against your natural urges and marry someone of the opposite sex too! Sure, it might not feel right for you to do so, you may not feel a strong physical and sexual connection with the person, but hey, at least it's marriage, right? F'ing a, right!
In his own demented little mind, it appears as if Governor Beshear often visualizes the following two discussions taking place:
Setting (for both scenarios): In Governor Beshear's office
Scenario #1
Donald Trumpski: "I wanna get married."
Steve Beshear: "Okay, well, congratulations! You and Sheila have been seeing each other for a while now. It's about time you two tie the knot!"
Trumpski: "I want to marry a guy."
Beshear: "Say what? Wait, you're gay?"
Trumpski: "No, I'm straight."
Beshear: "Soooo... I'm confused. Why do you want to marry a guy?"
Trumpski: "I don't know. When you said gays and straight have equal rights, that we could all marry someone of the opposite sex, but none of us could marry someone of the same sex, it just got me to thinking; I don't want to have equal rights as gays! I want to have more rights than gays! So, yeah, I want to marry a man!"
Beshear: "I'm sorry, but you can't do that, not in this state at least."
Trumpski: "Why not? Why are you trampling on my rights as a straight man wanting to get married to another guy when you're still allowing gays to marry people of the opposite sex? That's not right!"
Beshear: "Hmm... You make some excellent points, Donny. I'll have to think this over and get back to you on the matter."
Scenario #2
Jesus Highness: "I wanna get married."
Steve Beshear: "Okay, well,l congratulations! What's the lucky woman's name?"
Highness: "Jeremy Cheekbones"
Beshear: "Oh, I see... Well, I'm afraid you can't marry him. You can marry a woman, though. Have any girlfriends?"
Highness: "I'm gay."
Beshear: "I understand that, but we don't allow same-sex marriage in this state, for heterosexuals or homosexuals. We do allow marriage between one man and one woman in this state for both heterosexuals and homosexuals, though, so there's that."
Highness: "But I'm gay."
Beshear: "Right, so, as a gay man, if you want to get married in Kentucky, it will be with a woman."
Highness: "So, if I become governor of this state one day, would you deem it to be fair or right for me to pass a law which allowed heterosexuals and homosexuals to marry someone of the same sex but not of the opposite sex?"
Beshear: "No, that'd be ridiculous!"
Highness: "But, you see, I'd be fair to both groups. Both heterosexuals and homosexuals could marry someone of the same sex, but neither homosexuals nor heterosexuals could marry someone of the opposite sex."
Beshear: "That's not fair at all! That's..."
Highness: "...exactly what you're doing."
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/04/01/kentucky-gay-marriage_n_6984678.html
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