Skip to main content

Parody "The Donald Fan" (to the tune of Billy Joel's "Piano Man")

"The Donald Fan"
The clock reads a number on that one day
The poorly educated waltz in
There are old men standing everywhere
Waiting for an Oompa Loompa's twin

They say, "Tell us another random story"
One which stretches the truth
It's vague yet hyperbolic
It sounds incomplete
Like they almost always do

This is the life of The Donald fan
This is the life tonight
They're in the mood for some fallacies
And he's got them feeling all white

The Donald is a friend of theirs
He feeds them lies for free
He's quick with self-praise and bashing on gays
Yet with women he's been married to three

He says, "People, Mexicans are killing us"
"Muslims and fact-checkers too"
"The liberal media will research my words"
"And I just want tell them all, 'Yeah, well, f-you too!"

Trumpeteers are ardent immoralists
The Golden Rule seen as dark green
Greed and narcissism best friends of theirs
While yelling, "That hippy Jesus saved me"

They're at home preparing for Armageddon
In case Hillary gets more votes
"She'll destroy the world like her husband did"
"Just like The Donald told us"

This is the life of The Donald fan
This is the life tonight
They're in the mood for some fallacies
And he's got them feeling all white

It's an unbelievable crowd for any day
The Crowne Royale being passed around
The patrons not chanting in sync
Something about building a wall

The Donald he sounds like a Chucky doll
And he kind of looks like one too
He smells and pounces on the crowd's fears
As they scream, "Those are my crazy thoughts too!"

This is the life of The Donald fan
This is the life tonight
They're in the mood for some fallacies
And he's got them feeling all white

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/billyjoel/pianoman.html

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Boycotting jukeboxes because of TouchTunes

I love music and enjoy hitting the bar(s) over the weekend, so naturally, when the mood strikes me, I've never been coy about playing some songs on the jukebox. This past Thursday, a friend of mine turned 50, so several friends of her's, including myself, all met up to celebrate the occasion. At around 9:30, a friend of mine and I both chipped in $5 to play some songs on the jukebox. Four hours and 231 skips later, we gave up on hearing the songs we had selected, and went home knowing we had just wasted $5. This wasn't the first time such a thing had happened to me (and many others), and due to that, I'll be boycotting jukeboxes. Why? The scam known as TouchTunes. You see, here's how the plot typically breaks down. A person (or group of people) downloads the TouchTunes app on his/her phone, consumes one too many adult beverages, and due to this, has less care for spending extra money to hear the songs of their choosing right NOW. That's the thing with TouchTun

The difference between "looking" and "checking out"

I may be way off with these numbers, but it's my approximation that at least 75% of individuals whom are involved in a serious relationship feel it's perfectly acceptable to "check out" members of the opposite sex they're not involved with. Meanwhile, approximately 25% either don't feel this is acceptable or aren't sure about the matter. I hadn't thought about this matter for a while, but since I've been dating a woman for about 8 months, the topic has been pondered about some. When reading or hearing others discuss this very issue, I often times hear comments similar to the following: "It's human nature to look." "There's nothing wrong with checking others out. I'm sure he/she does it too!" "It's fine to do it. Just don't tell your boyfriend/girlfriend about it or do it in front of them!" "It's natural to find people attractive." When observing the array of comments, I i

The verdict is in. To no one's surprise, Jonathan Hoenig has been found guilty of being an idiot.

Just recently, when discussing the Michael Brown shooting and whether or not race had anything to do with it, Fox News contributor Jonathan Hoenig said, "You know who talks about race? Racists." One moment while I provide Mr. Hoenig with the well deserved slow-clap. :: slow-claps for two seconds :: So, that was quite the line by Mr. Hoenig, wasn't it? "You know who talks about race? Racists." Well, wasn't he just talking about race? So, by his own words, I guess that makes him a racist. Also, if he wants to be consistent, does this mean that people whom talk about gender are sexists and people whom talk about sexual orientation are homophobes? With that line of thinking, Hoenig would engage in the following back-and-forths: Hoenig: "So, who are you voting for?" A woman: "The Democratic candidate, because he's been adamant about his support for equal rights for women." Hoenig: "You sexist feminist nazi!"