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The Obamascare: Kind of based on a true story

Larry the Fable Guy: "Everyone run! Let's get out of here! It's coming!"

Jeff Cockworthy: "It is? Well, shoot. Looks like I'll have to leave my adult toys in the washer."

Bill Dingbat: "Can I put mine in your washer too? Mine isn't working."

Jeff: "We're getting out of here, numbnuts. I'm sure there will be plenty of adult toys wherever we wind up going."

Ron High: "Dudes, chill out. Can I at least finish my whiskey?"

Larry: "That's your eighth one, slick!"

Ron: "Yeah, I know. You guys go on without me. I'm just going to pass out over here by this lovely neighbor's mailbox. Hopefully the person that lives here is hot and takes care of me nice and good, if you know what I mean."

Larry: "Okay, fine! Jeff? Bill? Do you guys wanna stay here with Ron and die or are you coming with me to get away from this ensuing monster?"

Jeff: "I'm going with you, of course! I trust you're telling me the truth and I'm scared out of my overalls right now, I tell ya, golly gee whiz!"

Bill: "Uh, yeah - what he said..."

Larry: "You sure you're not coming with us, Ron?"

Ron: ::snores::

Jeff: "I think he's done for, just like earlier today and again last night."

Larry: "I don't know about that guy sometimes. Well, it was nice knowing you, Ron. I wonder if Jesus drinks whiskey. Alright, well anyway, we can't waste any more time, so here's what we must do - run as fast and as far as we possibly can until that monster is out of sight. Got it?"

Jeff: "Got it!"

Bill: "Huh?"

Jeff: "Just follow our lead, okay?"

Bill: "Okay"

Larry: "And let's go!"

::they start running::

Jim-Bob-Joe-Smith Johnson: ::stops Larry:: "What's going on here? What are you all running from?"

Larry: "That thing over there! Do you see it? It's going to kill us all! It's like a Nazi and we're its Jews!"

Jim-Bob-Joe-Smith: "Well, I don't know what it is, but I'm gonna run too!"

::they continue to run, before looking back, not seeing where they're going and getting struck by a car::

Taxi driver Mohammed Wheresmytip: ::gets out of his car to check on the people he hit:: "Oh no! What did I do? Are you guys okay?"

Larry: "I feel like I did on my wedding night, after my wife caught me with her sister."

Jeff: "I don't really feel anything, so I probably feel like our buddy Ron right now."

Bill: "I don't know. Ask one of them."

Jim-Bob-Joe-Smith: "Ugh. I should have listened to the voice in my head which told me to never talk to strangers."

Mohammed: "I see an ambulance and some doctors right over there. I'll go get them." ::gets their attention::

Larry: "No! That's the monster we're running from! We can't let them take away our freedom!" ::tries crawling, but to no avail::

::ambulance arrives::

Doctor Francois Monstier: "Hey guys, what happened here?"

Larry: "We were running from you guys when this taxi driver crashed into us."

Francois: "Running from us? Huh. Have you guys been doing any drugs or anything tonight?"

Bill: "That one stuff"

Francois: "What stuff is that? Acid by any chance?"

Jeff: "No, he thinks Mentos look like big pills, so he thinks they're drugs and calls them 'that one stuff.'"

Francois: "I see. Well, it appears as if you are all pretty beat up right now, but after we get you to a hospital and get some work done on you, you shall be back on the road to a full recovery. How's that sound?"

Larry: "I don't wanna die! I want my freedom!"

Francois: "Well, good news on both fronts. You're not going to die and once you fully heal, you'll have as much freedom at that point as ever."

Larry: "Huh? What about Obamacare? Aren't you going to kill us?"

Francois: ::laughs:: "Well, I'd tell you to lay off the drugs, but I'm about to give you some more, so I'll refrain from offering that bit of advice. After you get out of the hospital, though, I'd highly recommend you all get yourselves checked into rehab and get over these nasty drug habits of yours."

Bill: "That one stuff?"

Francois: "Yeah, especially that one... Alright, let's take them away."

Larry: "No! Not away! Freedom! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!"

Francois: "Make sure you knock this one out good. He's gone mad!"

Jeff: "Obamacare is a monster, though! We don't want microchips put in our heads!"

Francois: "Knock this one out too. We can't have them talking crazy like this while we're working on them."

Bill: "Monster? I don't like monsters!"

Francois: "Just go ahead and knock them all out. I'm starting to get a headache. Jesus, what is wrong with these people?"

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