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Brian Williams and Bill O'Reilly get into it with a bartender

I just entered a bar by the name of WTF last night when Brian Williams and Bill O'Reilly were about to leave, but were accused by the bartender of not paying their tabs, and the following discussion ensued:

Bartender Don Juantopissmeoff: "WTF?"

Bill O'Reilly: "You gotta problem, putz?"

Brian Williams: "Were you talking to us?"

Juantopissmeoff: "Yeah! You guys didn't pay your tabs! WTF?"

Williams: "Really? I must've forgot. I'm terribly sorry. Here you are, and please, keep the change. I promise to not come back in here for six months."

O'Reilly (to Williams): "Pansy!"

Juantopissmeoff: "Okay, he's taken care of. Now what about you? Where's my money?"

O'Reilly: "You wanna go?!? You wanna piece of this?!? I'll take you down like I took all those others down, with my two fists I call 'MC' and 'Hammer'!"

Juantopissmeoff: "Seriously? Well, those are better names than I would have guessed."

O'Reilly: "What were you going to guess?"

Juantopissmeoff: "I was torn between 'Thelma' and 'Louise' and 'Pillsbury' and 'Doucheboy'."

O'Reilly: "Oh, you've asked for it now, buddy! Get ready to say hello to 'MC' and 'Hammer'!"

Don Juantopissmeoff then showcased why his name is fitting, Brian Williams came back in to push Bill O'Reilly out of the bar in a wheelchair. Williams was then banned an additional six months from entering the bar for a violation of his first ban, all the while O'Reilly didn't have to pay his tab nor face a ban from the WTF bar. When Williams protested the matter, saying, "Hey, that's not right," Juantopissmeoff yelled back, "Hey! Do you want to be introduced to my two fists, 'fair' and 'balanced,' too, buddy?"

When Williams shook his head no, he decided to push a now conscious O'Reilly to a bar across the street, which went by the name of, 'WTF Phil Dunphy-style' (Why the Face)."
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