For whatever reason, whenever I hear the name Liam Neeson in a movie trailer, the name Leslie Nielsen springs to mind. This got me wondering how the two actors would have played some of the other's better known roles. Here are three possibilities:
Airplane!
Dr. Rumack (played by Liam Neeson): "Can you fly this plane, and land it?"
Ted Striker: "Surely you can't be serious."
Dr. Rumack: "I'm always serious... and what the hell did you just call me?"
The Naked Gun
Jane Spencer: "I've heard police work is dangerous."
Lieutenant Frank Drebin (played by Liam Neeson): "It is. That's why I carry a big gun."
Jane: "Aren't you afraid it might go off accidentally?"
Frank: "I used to have that problem."
Jane: "What did you do about it?"
Frank: "Kicked the crap out of people, well, and Viagra"
Taken
Bryan Mills (played by Leslie Nielsen): "I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. Wait, are you my wife by any chance? Anyway, if you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for no one in particular. These skills include: Delivering babies on airplanes, going to the urinal with my mic still on, reciting Knute Rockne, only getting half the lyrics right when singing 'The Star-Spangled Banner,' being called Shirley for whatever fricking reason, and faking orgasms while wearing a full-body condom. I know you're scared now, but if you let my daughter go, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you, I won't even get in the back seat of a car with a student driver at the wheel and tell her to go look for you, wherever you may be. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you within a couple of decades at the most, and will kill you - probably by accident, but in any case, you'll be dead, so there's that."
Airplane!
Dr. Rumack (played by Liam Neeson): "Can you fly this plane, and land it?"
Ted Striker: "Surely you can't be serious."
Dr. Rumack: "I'm always serious... and what the hell did you just call me?"
The Naked Gun
Jane Spencer: "I've heard police work is dangerous."
Lieutenant Frank Drebin (played by Liam Neeson): "It is. That's why I carry a big gun."
Jane: "Aren't you afraid it might go off accidentally?"
Frank: "I used to have that problem."
Jane: "What did you do about it?"
Frank: "Kicked the crap out of people, well, and Viagra"
Taken
Bryan Mills (played by Leslie Nielsen): "I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. Wait, are you my wife by any chance? Anyway, if you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for no one in particular. These skills include: Delivering babies on airplanes, going to the urinal with my mic still on, reciting Knute Rockne, only getting half the lyrics right when singing 'The Star-Spangled Banner,' being called Shirley for whatever fricking reason, and faking orgasms while wearing a full-body condom. I know you're scared now, but if you let my daughter go, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you, I won't even get in the back seat of a car with a student driver at the wheel and tell her to go look for you, wherever you may be. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you within a couple of decades at the most, and will kill you - probably by accident, but in any case, you'll be dead, so there's that."
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