Skip to main content

What if Liam Neeson and Leslie Nielsen had switched characters?

For whatever reason, whenever I hear the name Liam Neeson in a movie trailer, the name Leslie Nielsen springs to mind. This got me wondering how the two actors would have played some of the other's better known roles. Here are three possibilities:

Airplane!

Dr. Rumack (played by Liam Neeson): "Can you fly this plane, and land it?"

Ted Striker: "Surely you can't be serious."

Dr. Rumack: "I'm always serious... and what the hell did you just call me?"


The Naked Gun

Jane Spencer: "I've heard police work is dangerous."

Lieutenant Frank Drebin (played by Liam Neeson): "It is. That's why I carry a big gun."

Jane: "Aren't you afraid it might go off accidentally?"

Frank: "I used to have that problem."

Jane: "What did you do about it?"

Frank: "Kicked the crap out of people, well, and Viagra"


Taken

Bryan Mills (played by Leslie Nielsen): "I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. Wait, are you my wife by any chance? Anyway, if you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for no one in particular. These skills include: Delivering babies on airplanes, going to the urinal with my mic still on, reciting Knute Rockne, only getting half the lyrics right when singing 'The Star-Spangled Banner,' being called Shirley for whatever fricking reason, and faking orgasms while wearing a full-body condom. I know you're scared now, but if you let my daughter go, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you, I won't even get in the back seat of a car with a student driver at the wheel and tell her to go look for you, wherever you may be. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you within a couple of decades at the most, and will kill you - probably by accident, but in any case, you'll be dead, so there's that."

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Boycotting jukeboxes because of TouchTunes

I love music and enjoy hitting the bar(s) over the weekend, so naturally, when the mood strikes me, I've never been coy about playing some songs on the jukebox. This past Thursday, a friend of mine turned 50, so several friends of her's, including myself, all met up to celebrate the occasion. At around 9:30, a friend of mine and I both chipped in $5 to play some songs on the jukebox. Four hours and 231 skips later, we gave up on hearing the songs we had selected, and went home knowing we had just wasted $5. This wasn't the first time such a thing had happened to me (and many others), and due to that, I'll be boycotting jukeboxes. Why? The scam known as TouchTunes. You see, here's how the plot typically breaks down. A person (or group of people) downloads the TouchTunes app on his/her phone, consumes one too many adult beverages, and due to this, has less care for spending extra money to hear the songs of their choosing right NOW. That's the thing with TouchTun...

Trump's Lie Tally at the CNN Debate

1) "We had the greatest economy in the history of our country. We had never done so well. Every – everybody was amazed by it. Other countries were copying us." 2) "But the thing we never got the credit for, and we should have, is getting us out of that COVID mess." 3) "The only jobs he created are for illegal immigrants and bounceback jobs; they’re bounced back from the COVID." 4) "Not going to drive them higher. It’s just going to cause countries that have been ripping us off for years, like China and many others, in all fairness to China – it’s going to just force them to pay us a lot of money, reduce our deficit tremendously, and give us a lot of power for other things." (tariffs) 5) "He also said he inherited 9 percent inflation." 6) "No, he inherited almost no inflation and it stayed that way for 14 months. And then it blew up under his leadership, because they spent money like a bunch of people that didn’t know what t...