Skip to main content

If Nationwide isn't on your side, apparently you're dead...

Following Super Bowl Sunday, here are the top two things people are talking about: 

1) "What in the hell was Pete Carroll thinking when he called for that pass on 2nd down from the 1-yard-line when Marshawn Lynch (AKA The Beast) is in the backfield?"

2) "What the (bleep) was up with that Nationwide commercial?"

Yes, as most people now know, when they hear "Nationwide" from this point forward, they'll think of dead kids, or more specifically, dead kids coming back to life to talk about their death. I know, it's Jesus all over again...

In case you're one of the four people in this country that has yet to see the before-mentioned commercial, here it is - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dKUy-tfrIHY

In light of this horrific ad, memes have been circulating the Internet like herpes circulates backstage at rock concerts, and not wanting to be left out, I thought I'd have a little fun with the commercial as well. 

When I first saw this commercial, for whatever reason, I was reminded of a scene from the film The Sixth Sense, and I think if there's ever a remake of it, one memorable scene may go a little something like this: 

Little boy: "I see dead people..."

Response: "Did that damn Nationwide commercial come on again? Jesus... Why do you insist on watching that freaky commercial? I DVR things for you so you can fast-forward through these scary commercials. Here, I'll do it for you. Now go back and watch the rest of The Exorcist, relax, and get some sleep. Goodnight."


Also, in a new poll that was released, it was discovered these were the three things parents fear the most: 

3) Accidents

2) Bullying

1) The new Nationwide commercial


It was also said that the following back-and-forth ensued following the New England Patriots' 28-24 victory over the Seattle Seahawks on Sunday.

Press: "So how depressed are you right now?"

Russell Wilson: "Extremely depressed, especially after watching that Nationwide commercial."


Lastly, somewhere in the country, this conversation took place between a mother and her child: 

Child: "Ahh! I heard that scary song in my dream again!" 

Mother: "Rob Zombie? Marilyn Manson?"

Child: "No! Nationwide is on my side!"


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Boycotting jukeboxes because of TouchTunes

I love music and enjoy hitting the bar(s) over the weekend, so naturally, when the mood strikes me, I've never been coy about playing some songs on the jukebox. This past Thursday, a friend of mine turned 50, so several friends of her's, including myself, all met up to celebrate the occasion. At around 9:30, a friend of mine and I both chipped in $5 to play some songs on the jukebox. Four hours and 231 skips later, we gave up on hearing the songs we had selected, and went home knowing we had just wasted $5. This wasn't the first time such a thing had happened to me (and many others), and due to that, I'll be boycotting jukeboxes. Why? The scam known as TouchTunes. You see, here's how the plot typically breaks down. A person (or group of people) downloads the TouchTunes app on his/her phone, consumes one too many adult beverages, and due to this, has less care for spending extra money to hear the songs of their choosing right NOW. That's the thing with TouchTun

The difference between "looking" and "checking out"

I may be way off with these numbers, but it's my approximation that at least 75% of individuals whom are involved in a serious relationship feel it's perfectly acceptable to "check out" members of the opposite sex they're not involved with. Meanwhile, approximately 25% either don't feel this is acceptable or aren't sure about the matter. I hadn't thought about this matter for a while, but since I've been dating a woman for about 8 months, the topic has been pondered about some. When reading or hearing others discuss this very issue, I often times hear comments similar to the following: "It's human nature to look." "There's nothing wrong with checking others out. I'm sure he/she does it too!" "It's fine to do it. Just don't tell your boyfriend/girlfriend about it or do it in front of them!" "It's natural to find people attractive." When observing the array of comments, I i

The verdict is in. To no one's surprise, Jonathan Hoenig has been found guilty of being an idiot.

Just recently, when discussing the Michael Brown shooting and whether or not race had anything to do with it, Fox News contributor Jonathan Hoenig said, "You know who talks about race? Racists." One moment while I provide Mr. Hoenig with the well deserved slow-clap. :: slow-claps for two seconds :: So, that was quite the line by Mr. Hoenig, wasn't it? "You know who talks about race? Racists." Well, wasn't he just talking about race? So, by his own words, I guess that makes him a racist. Also, if he wants to be consistent, does this mean that people whom talk about gender are sexists and people whom talk about sexual orientation are homophobes? With that line of thinking, Hoenig would engage in the following back-and-forths: Hoenig: "So, who are you voting for?" A woman: "The Democratic candidate, because he's been adamant about his support for equal rights for women." Hoenig: "You sexist feminist nazi!"