Skip to main content

Vaginas = Butts according to Idaho State Representative Vito Barbieri

Like a lot of male Republican politicians, Idaho State Representative Vito Barbieri appears to be quite confused about the female body.

With regard to a state bill which would ban doctors from providing abortion-inducing medication through telemedicine, the House State Affairs Committee heard three hours of testimony on Monday, which is when Representative Barbieri would soon make it known to the world that he knows as much about a woman's body as a fetus knows about the "Internets" (thanks, Dubya).

Here's basically how the back-and-forth between Representative Barbieri and Dr. Julie Madsen, who opposes the bill, went:

Dr. Madsen: "...Some colonoscopy patients may swallow a small device to give doctors a closer look at parts of their colon."

Rep. Barbieri: "Can this same procedure then be done in a pregnancy? Swallowing a camera and helping the doctor determine what the situation is?"

Dr. Madsen: "That would be impossible because swallowed pills do not end up in the vagina."

Rep. Barbieri: "Fascinating. That makes sense."

Representative Barbieri would later say his question was rhetorical. However, I have a difficult time believing this. If he was truly asking a rhetorical question, as most everyone would do in such a circumstance, here's how the back-and-forth would have gone:

Dr. Madsen: "...Some colonoscopy patients may swallow a small device to give doctors a closer look at parts of their colon."

Rep. Barbieri: "Can this same procedure then be done in a pregnancy? Swallowing a camera and helping the doctor determine what the situation is?"

Dr. Madsen: "That..."

Rep. Barbieri: "No need to respond. The question was rhetorical. I was merely proving a point. That will be all."

So since I don't believe his question was rhetorical, I have some questions of my own that I'd like to ask the Idaho lawmaker:

1) True or false, the butt and vagina are the same thing?

2) If you answered true to question #1, does that make the butt and penis the same thing?

3) If you answered true to both #1 and #2, through the transitive property, does that mean the penis and vagina are the same thing?

4) How do you believe people have sex? You'll be required to draw a picture.

5) If vaginas are butts in disguise, why do so many Republicans have an issue with gays getting married, since both homosexuals and heterosexuals would be only engaging in anal sex?

Based on Representative Barbieri's ridiculous question, expect to hear the following questions from him at some point in the future:

- "In Sir Mix-a-Lot's song, 'Baby Got Back,' when he says, 'I like big butts and I cannot lie,' is that code for, 'I like big vaginas and I cannot lie?'"

- "Do women always have to sit down to use the restroom because they pee and poop out of the same place?"

- "Where do babies come out of again and does it really matter which hole it is, or is there only one hole?"

- "So, since I've established that butts are the same thing as vaginas, does this mean gay men can get pregnant too?"

- "If a doctor gave me a colonoscopy, would he find my head there?"

Yes...

http://www.startribune.com/lifestyle/health/293718211.html

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Boycotting jukeboxes because of TouchTunes

I love music and enjoy hitting the bar(s) over the weekend, so naturally, when the mood strikes me, I've never been coy about playing some songs on the jukebox. This past Thursday, a friend of mine turned 50, so several friends of her's, including myself, all met up to celebrate the occasion. At around 9:30, a friend of mine and I both chipped in $5 to play some songs on the jukebox. Four hours and 231 skips later, we gave up on hearing the songs we had selected, and went home knowing we had just wasted $5. This wasn't the first time such a thing had happened to me (and many others), and due to that, I'll be boycotting jukeboxes. Why? The scam known as TouchTunes. You see, here's how the plot typically breaks down. A person (or group of people) downloads the TouchTunes app on his/her phone, consumes one too many adult beverages, and due to this, has less care for spending extra money to hear the songs of their choosing right NOW. That's the thing with TouchTun...

The difference between "looking" and "checking out"

I may be way off with these numbers, but it's my approximation that at least 75% of individuals whom are involved in a serious relationship feel it's perfectly acceptable to "check out" members of the opposite sex they're not involved with. Meanwhile, approximately 25% either don't feel this is acceptable or aren't sure about the matter. I hadn't thought about this matter for a while, but since I've been dating a woman for about 8 months, the topic has been pondered about some. When reading or hearing others discuss this very issue, I often times hear comments similar to the following: "It's human nature to look." "There's nothing wrong with checking others out. I'm sure he/she does it too!" "It's fine to do it. Just don't tell your boyfriend/girlfriend about it or do it in front of them!" "It's natural to find people attractive." When observing the array of comments, I i...