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Dubya Mentors Jeb

With his younger brother struggling in the polls, former President George W. Bush has decided to mentor Jeb while on the campaign trail. At this point it's unknown whether or not the former president has made an impact, positive or negative, on his younger brother's standing in the polls. However, when we caught up with the former president, here's what he had to tell us about the situation and the words of advice he had for Jeb:

"Little Jeb called me one day and said, 'Bro, I need your help. You got elected a couple times. Could you help me get elected once or twice?' I said, 'Yes, of course. You're my big brother.' He quickly corrected me that I was the older one, but anyway, where was I going with this? Oh yeah... So I gave him a few pointers to follow to improve his chances on winning the Republican primary and becoming the next President of the United States of America. Here were some of my pointers:

- 'Before you win the primary or the presidency, be sure to give a speech with a big mission-accomplished banner directly behind you.'

- 'Don't ever misunderestimate the misunderestimator!'

- 'If you ever have a bad day campaigning, just remember that nothing will cheer you up more than to put food on your family.'

- 'Whenever it comes to education, the answer is no, our children isn't learning good enough.'

- 'Never be afraid to practice your love with women all across this great country.'"

When I caught up with Jeb Bush about the matter, all he said was, "It's so nice to have such a smart brother. Every family's gotta have one of them, right?"

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