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What I learned in Week 5 of the NFL season...

In Week 5 of the NFL season, I learned...

- ...after Devonta Freeman's touchdown catch was overturned, when asked for the definitions of catch and touchdown, even Webster said, "I don't have any fricking idea anymore."

- ...Seattle Seahawks coaches believe three quarters make a dollar.

- ...the only way to stop bad Dallas Cowboys fans with guns in parking lots is good Dallas Cowboys fans with guns in parking lots.

- ...players, coaches, and fans of the 1-4 Baltimore Ravens are regularly mumbling to themselves today, "At least we're not the Detroit Lions."

- ..., at age 36, the Cleveland Browns have finally found their quarterback of the future in Josh McCown.

- ...the decreased zip on Peyton Manning's throws is likely due to delivering too many Papa John's pizzas.

- ..., in throwing three interceptions against Arizona on Sunday, Detroit Lions quarterback Matthew Stafford believes he was always destined to be a Cardinal.

- ..., at 1-4, New Orleans Saints head coach Sean Payton misses the bounty scandal days.

- ...Aaron Rodgers is human after all, but just barely.

- ...officials at the Pittsburgh/San Diego Monday night game will reportedly tell the police they can't recall where they were during those 18 vanished seconds in the 4th quarter.

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