Representative Jason Chaffetz (R-UT) shows off the worst, most misleading chart in history

The Christian right's growing problem of lying about Planned Parenthood continued on Tuesday morning, as the Republican-led Congress continued their witch-hunt on the family planning organization by holding a hearing with its president, Cecile Richards.

During the hearing, Utah Representative Jason Chaffetz showed and described a chart to Ms. Richards, which was titled, "Planned Parenthood Federation of America: Abortions Up - Life-Saving Procedures Down." Before writing more about this chart, I'll allow you to look at it for yourselves:

http://www.vox.com/2015/9/29/9417845/planned-parenthood-terrible-chart

The x-axis shows the years between 2006 and 2013, while the y-axis shows the number of cancer screenings & prevention services as well as the number of abortions. As you can see, Mr. Chaffetz's chart started out fairly accurate, as it clearly showed that in 2006, cancer screenings & prevention services (2,007,371) were much more prevalent among Planned Parenthood's services than abortions (289,750). However, that was the beginning and the end as far as accuracy was concerned. The chart then fast-forwarded from 2006 to 2013, where it showed abortions, via the red line and arrow, being much more frequent than cancer screenings & prevention services (via the pink line and arrow). The problem being, in 2013, there were 327,000 abortions and 935,573 cancer screenings & prevention services. So while Mr. Chaffetz is correct that abortions have increased and cancer screenings & prevention services have decreased, Planned Parenthood still performed over 600,000 more cancer screenings & prevention services than abortions, so the chart is, as kids nowadays would call it, an epic fail. According to Representative Chaffetz, if a number increases from year 1 to year 2, it's inevitably greater than a number which decreases from year 1 to year 2. Based on that logic, expect Chaffetz to utter the following ridiculous lines in the future (if he hasn't already):

- "While my age has increased, my weight has decreased, so I'm older than I weigh."

- "There are more teams than ever in pro football, but there are fewer players as well. It's quite something that we have more teams than players now."

- "I see that the temperature in Antarctica rose today from yesterday and the temperature in the Middle East went down today from yesterday. Seriously? It's warmer in Antarctica than in the Middle East? What's going on here?"

- "Those penis enlargement pills are really working. My wife's even impressed by my size! Shaquille O'Neal, as he's getting older, seems to be shrinking. Never did I think I'd be able to say my penis is bigger than Shaquille O'Neal!"

- "How is it my shoe size grew, and based on my latest test, my IQ shrank? It's really depressing to think my shoes are a bigger number than my IQ!"

Boycotting jukeboxes because of TouchTunes

I love music and enjoy hitting the bar(s) over the weekend, so naturally, when the mood strikes me, I've never been coy about playing some songs on the jukebox. This past Thursday, a friend of mine turned 50, so several friends of her's, including myself, all met up to celebrate the occasion. At around 9:30, a friend of mine and I both chipped in $5 to play some songs on the jukebox. Four hours and 231 skips later, we gave up on hearing the songs we had selected, and went home knowing we had just wasted $5. This wasn't the first time such a thing had happened to me (and many others), and due to that, I'll be boycotting jukeboxes. Why? The scam known as TouchTunes. You see, here's how the plot typically breaks down. A person (or group of people) downloads the TouchTunes app on his/her phone, consumes one too many adult beverages, and due to this, has less care for spending extra money to hear the songs of their choosing right NOW. That's the thing with TouchTun

The difference between "looking" and "checking out"

I may be way off with these numbers, but it's my approximation that at least 75% of individuals whom are involved in a serious relationship feel it's perfectly acceptable to "check out" members of the opposite sex they're not involved with. Meanwhile, approximately 25% either don't feel this is acceptable or aren't sure about the matter. I hadn't thought about this matter for a while, but since I've been dating a woman for about 8 months, the topic has been pondered about some. When reading or hearing others discuss this very issue, I often times hear comments similar to the following: "It's human nature to look." "There's nothing wrong with checking others out. I'm sure he/she does it too!" "It's fine to do it. Just don't tell your boyfriend/girlfriend about it or do it in front of them!" "It's natural to find people attractive." When observing the array of comments, I i

The verdict is in. To no one's surprise, Jonathan Hoenig has been found guilty of being an idiot.

Just recently, when discussing the Michael Brown shooting and whether or not race had anything to do with it, Fox News contributor Jonathan Hoenig said, "You know who talks about race? Racists." One moment while I provide Mr. Hoenig with the well deserved slow-clap. :: slow-claps for two seconds :: So, that was quite the line by Mr. Hoenig, wasn't it? "You know who talks about race? Racists." Well, wasn't he just talking about race? So, by his own words, I guess that makes him a racist. Also, if he wants to be consistent, does this mean that people whom talk about gender are sexists and people whom talk about sexual orientation are homophobes? With that line of thinking, Hoenig would engage in the following back-and-forths: Hoenig: "So, who are you voting for?" A woman: "The Democratic candidate, because he's been adamant about his support for equal rights for women." Hoenig: "You sexist feminist nazi!"

The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

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