Skip to main content

What I learned in Week 14 of the NFL season

In Week 14 of the NFL season, I learned that...

- ...you should never ride passenger with Patrick Mahomes behind the wheel, for he sees "Wrong Way" signs not as a law, but as a challenge.

- ..., Cam Newton looks so old on the field nowadays, he makes 43-year-old Tom Brady look young. Head coach Bill Belichick agrees.

- ...the New York Jets are so bad, when the players' mothers talk to friends about their sons, they say they play for the Giants.

- ...LA Chargers head coach Anthony Lynn is so bad with time, sexists now refer to him as Lynn Anthony.

- ...Chase Young was so frighteningly dominant on Sunday, he's been placed at the very top of the FBI's "Most Wanted" list.

- ..., there were so many missed kicks on Sunday, NFL RedZone should have just played Bob Uecker on a loop, saying, "Just a bit outside. Tried the crossbar and missed."

- ...it should be law for the kids of Pittsburgh Steelers receivers to wear helmets whenever in the players' presence, for the odds are high they'll be dropped.

- ...the San Francisco 49ers are so beat up, there's a petition going around to temporarily rename them the 86ers.

- ...New York Giants quarterback Daniel Jones is so careless with his balls, he's been nicknamed No Nuts McJones.

- ...Taysom Hill isn't far behind Jones there, as Weird Al is rumored to working on a Fats Domino parody about the Saints "quarterback," entitled, "Vasectomy Hill."

Labels

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Boycotting jukeboxes because of TouchTunes

I love music and enjoy hitting the bar(s) over the weekend, so naturally, when the mood strikes me, I've never been coy about playing some songs on the jukebox. This past Thursday, a friend of mine turned 50, so several friends of her's, including myself, all met up to celebrate the occasion. At around 9:30, a friend of mine and I both chipped in $5 to play some songs on the jukebox. Four hours and 231 skips later, we gave up on hearing the songs we had selected, and went home knowing we had just wasted $5. This wasn't the first time such a thing had happened to me (and many others), and due to that, I'll be boycotting jukeboxes. Why? The scam known as TouchTunes. You see, here's how the plot typically breaks down. A person (or group of people) downloads the TouchTunes app on his/her phone, consumes one too many adult beverages, and due to this, has less care for spending extra money to hear the songs of their choosing right NOW. That's the thing with TouchTun...
2 comments
Read more

Face guarding is legal in college football and the NFL

I just wanted to remind fans and announcers especially, that face guarding is legal in both college football and the NFL. It all comes down to contact. So long as a defender doesn't make contact with an intended receiver, he doesn't have to turn around to play the ball. I can't tell you how many times every week I hear announcers talk about face guarding being a penalty. It's not. I even heard one announcer yesterday state, "If the defender doesn't turn around and play the ball, the ref will call pass interference every time." That's simply not true. Courtesy of referee Bill LeMonnier, he says this with regard to the rule at the college level (answered on 8/12/13): "NCAA rules on pass interference require the face guarding to have contact to be a foul. No contact, no foul by NCAA rules." In the NFL rule book, this is written:  "Actions that constitute defensive pass interference include but are not limited to: (a) Contact by a ...
2 comments
Read more