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Utah man + rifle + pistol + JC Penney's = ?

In light of all the gun-control talk, about a week ago, a 22-year old man by the name of  Joseph Kelley decided he'd be doing the country a favor if he strapped an unloaded rifle onto his back and brought along a loaded Glock pistol for good measure to a JC Penney's store in Utah.

Kelley was trying to make the point that weapons aren't dangerous when handled by good, law-abiding citizens such as himself.

Kelley obviously isn't the brightest crayon in the box - not even a dark gray. It's quite something for a person to hear about the tragedy in Newtown, Connecticut, see the terror in the children's, parents', and teachers' eyes, to hear talk about the government potentially passing stricter gun laws, and to one morning decide, "You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to bring a rifle and a pistol into a JC Penney's store, where parents and their children will be shopping, and won't strike fear into anyone, because people should know just by looking at me - a regular guy with a rifle strapped his back as he walks into a retail store - that I'm a good person. I'm doing this in the name of the U.S. Constitution, in the name of the 2nd Amendment, and in the name of stupidity and insanity! Fear not, kids and their mothers! I am here to protect you."

With that kind of rationale, I can just see the following story not long after a town was traumatized by a number of their citizens getting raped by a deranged man:

::man walks into a Target completely naked, with a condom on his johnson::

Local newsperson Josanna Nosource: "Why on earth did you do this, sir?"

Donald Chubby: "I just wanted to prove to everyone that not all people with penises are dangerous when they're handled by good, law-abiding citizens such as myself. I even brought protection, in case the moment struck another person and myself. It is kind of cold in here, though, so I'd need some help with that."

Yeah, I'm sure both of these guys and their "guns" frightened some, traumatized others, and provided multiple people with new reality television show ideas. Stay tuned...

http://thinkprogress.org/justice/2013/01/19/1472811/jc-penney-guns/

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