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Fox News' War on Christmas seems misguided

With another year almost complete, upon us is another year in the War on Christmas, so says Fox News and its followers. From people abbreviating Christmas to Xmas to "Merry Christmas" becoming "Happy Holidays" to Christmas trees being called holiday trees, the spirit of the Christmas season is obviously becoming no more. Christmas should be a time to celebrate family, tradition, commercialism, and the Jesus. Yes, we've taken the Christ out of Christmas, but not through silly symbolic measures such as abbreviations. No, if Fox News and the like want to go after people for waging a war against Christmas, perhaps they should look elsewhere, which this following story should illustrate:

Setting: Outside of a Wal-Mart just before Black Friday begins

::Wal-Mart officially opens on Black Friday::

Cindy Christ: ::pushes people:: "Out of my way! Get the hell out of my way, people! Hey, you over there - you better not be going for that doll! That's mine!"

Jessica Magdalene: "No, it's not! It's mine now! That's just too bad, isn't it?"

Cindy: "Give me that!" ::attempts pulling it away from Jessica::

Jessica: "No, it's mine - all mine! I'm giving it to my daughter! Go find something else!"

Cindy: ::smacks Jessica across the face and takes the doll: "That's what you think, you selfish b**ch!"

Jessica: ::jumps on Cindy's back, trying to take her down:: "Oh, no, you didn't! You're not going to get away that easy! Give it back! Give it back! I had it first!"

Cindy: "Get off of me, you fat cow! Go find another doll, or some Slim-Fast. At your size, if you slim down fast at all, you'll be down to 350 lbs. within a week!"

Jessica: "What? Take it back! Take it back!"

::the two start wrestling on the floor::

Walter Evil: "Ladies, ladies... Come on, now. Is this the way to behave? Here, there was one more doll hidden behind a few things. Here you are. Now you can both have one for your daughters or whoever you'll be giving them to."

::the two ladies get up and nod toward one another, as they continue huffing and puffing::

Walter: "There. That's better. Now let's all continue our shopping in a peaceful manner. What do you say?"

Cindy: "Okay, that sounds good. Thanks, sir. Merry Christmas."

Jessica: "Yeah, thanks. Merry Christmas."

Walter: "Happy Holidays to you both! Take care."

::the two ladies look at one another::

Cindy: "What? Don't you dare take Christ out of Christmas!"

Jessica: "Yeah! You heathen! Let's get him!"

::the two ladies start pouncing on the guy like Sugar Ray Leonard::

Walter: "Stop it! Please! You're hurting me! What did I do?"

Cindy: "You said Happy Holidays!"

::continues punching him::

Jessica: "Yeah! Take it back! Say Merry Christmas!"

Walter: "I don't understand! Please stop this!"

Jessica: "Say Merry Christmas!"

Walter: "Okay, alright, Merry Christmas."

::the two ladies get up::

Cindy: "There, was that so hard?"

Jessica: "Yeah, geez, those frickin' atheists. Wanna go grab a bite to eat?"

Cindy: "Yeah, I'm getting pretty hungry too. Alright, let's buy these dolls and go."

::Jessica pushes Walter down one more time::

Jessica: "A*shole!"

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  1. CloteeDecember 15, 2013 at 9:54 AM

    Merry Christmas and Best Wishes for a Happy New Year!
    Bring you Good wishes of happiness.

    Sorry for greeting you earlier,, just don't want miss saying this.
    By the way, I'm Clotee. It's my first time visiting your blog. I am blogger too, and now try my best luck to open an e-store. Nice to know you.

    Regards,
    Clotee

    ReplyDelete

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