Men and women really are from different planets

While I shouldn't be incredibly surprised by the results of a study I read today, it still made me chuckle. Men and women really are from two different planets.

In the October 2013 issue of Archives of Sexual Behavior, a study concocted by researchers from the University of Texas at Austin was published, where 24,000 people were asked about sexual regrets of their pasts. Unsurprisingly, men and women tended to trend differently when it came to such regrets.

Women's most common regrets:

1. "Losing their virginity to the wrong partner" (24%)

2. "Cheating on a present or past partner" (23%)

3. "Moving too fast sexually" (20%)

Men's most common regrets:

1. "Failing to make a move on a prospective sexual partner" (27%)

2. "Not being more sexually adventurous in their youth" (23%)

3. "Not being more sexually adventurous when single" (19%)

Yes, while women seemed to feel guilty for having too much sex, men felt guilty for not having enough sex. I picture such a man and a woman, whom are romantically involved with one another but going through some rough times, engaging in the following conversation:

Juanita Mann: "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! Every single day, I pray that you were my first and not that jerk, Joe Blow."

Mike Schwantz: "I feel guilty too. I wish I had penetrated many women before you."

Juanita Mann: "What? What do you mean? I wanted to save myself for you!"

Mike Schwantz: "I totally respect that, but while you'd be over there saving yourself for me, I'd be off screwing every woman in sight so I could better pleasure you, to make you happy, and make this thing last. In essence, my penis getting around would likely save our relationship."

Juanita Mann: "I don't want to be one of THOSE women. I don't want to be a woman you just see as an object. I really wish I hadn't have let things move so fast with you."

Mike Schwantz: "So fast? That was the second date. That's not fast at all. If you had waited to a third date, we probably wouldn't be having this conversation right now."

Juanita Mann: "You mean, you wouldn't have dated me after our second date if I didn't sleep with you?"

Mike Schwantz: "Hey, a guy has needs. If my guy downstairs ain't happy, I'm not happy. That's why I wish I would have slept around more when I was single."

Juanita Mann: "Seriously? When I was single, I was just hoping to meet a guy like you."

Mike Schwantz: "Really? When I was single, I just wanted to know where I could stick it."

Juanita Mann: "I can't believe everything you're saying! I think we should break up!"

Mike Schwantz: "Very well. So, what are you going to do from here then?"

Juanita Mann: "Probably just talk to and cry with my girlfriends, get drunk, and slowly but surely, find it in me to get over you and find someone else with whom I hope to find true love. ...and you?"

Mike Schwantz: "Go out with the guys, hit on some women, and take at least one of them home with me to have a wild night of sex. Tomorrow's Friday, so yeah, that sounds good."

Juanita: "Oh my God! How could you?" ::cries and runs off::

Mike Schwantz: "What got into her? Not me anymore." ::laughs, before going deep in thought:: "So, who can I stick it in now?"

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/12/02/sexual-regrets-differ-men-and-women_n_4372793.html

Boycotting jukeboxes because of TouchTunes

I love music and enjoy hitting the bar(s) over the weekend, so naturally, when the mood strikes me, I've never been coy about playing some songs on the jukebox. This past Thursday, a friend of mine turned 50, so several friends of her's, including myself, all met up to celebrate the occasion. At around 9:30, a friend of mine and I both chipped in $5 to play some songs on the jukebox. Four hours and 231 skips later, we gave up on hearing the songs we had selected, and went home knowing we had just wasted $5. This wasn't the first time such a thing had happened to me (and many others), and due to that, I'll be boycotting jukeboxes. Why? The scam known as TouchTunes. You see, here's how the plot typically breaks down. A person (or group of people) downloads the TouchTunes app on his/her phone, consumes one too many adult beverages, and due to this, has less care for spending extra money to hear the songs of their choosing right NOW. That's the thing with TouchTun

The difference between "looking" and "checking out"

I may be way off with these numbers, but it's my approximation that at least 75% of individuals whom are involved in a serious relationship feel it's perfectly acceptable to "check out" members of the opposite sex they're not involved with. Meanwhile, approximately 25% either don't feel this is acceptable or aren't sure about the matter. I hadn't thought about this matter for a while, but since I've been dating a woman for about 8 months, the topic has been pondered about some. When reading or hearing others discuss this very issue, I often times hear comments similar to the following: "It's human nature to look." "There's nothing wrong with checking others out. I'm sure he/she does it too!" "It's fine to do it. Just don't tell your boyfriend/girlfriend about it or do it in front of them!" "It's natural to find people attractive." When observing the array of comments, I i

The verdict is in. To no one's surprise, Jonathan Hoenig has been found guilty of being an idiot.

Just recently, when discussing the Michael Brown shooting and whether or not race had anything to do with it, Fox News contributor Jonathan Hoenig said, "You know who talks about race? Racists." One moment while I provide Mr. Hoenig with the well deserved slow-clap. :: slow-claps for two seconds :: So, that was quite the line by Mr. Hoenig, wasn't it? "You know who talks about race? Racists." Well, wasn't he just talking about race? So, by his own words, I guess that makes him a racist. Also, if he wants to be consistent, does this mean that people whom talk about gender are sexists and people whom talk about sexual orientation are homophobes? With that line of thinking, Hoenig would engage in the following back-and-forths: Hoenig: "So, who are you voting for?" A woman: "The Democratic candidate, because he's been adamant about his support for equal rights for women." Hoenig: "You sexist feminist nazi!"

The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

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