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Americans: "Africa? Huh? What is that, like, a country or something?"

When Christopher Columbus came to the U.S. thinking it was India and, still to this day, many people refer to Native Americans as "Indians," it seemed all but inevitable that Americans would excel at geography like Rip Van Winkle excelled at speed-dating.

Case and point, it appears as if some schools, in light of the Ebola outbreak in Africa, feel that the continent is one country, as opposed to 47 countries. The thing is, this outbreak has broke out in just 3 of the 47 countries in Africa (6.4%). According to my math, that leaves 44 of 47 countries in Africa Ebola-free (93.6%). However, these wild numbers haven't seemed to cease the panic any at some schools.

In New Burlington, New Jersey, two Rwandan students are being forced to stay home due to the school's and parents' paranoia they'll magically infect kids with Ebola. Judging by the map and those crazy numbers again, Rwanda is about as close to a country fighting the Ebola outbreak as New York City is to Seattle. For those whom have to check a map for that, New York City is on the east coast and Seattle is on the west coast, so they're not very close to one another. If Seattle were somehow in Washington, D.C., as opposed to Washington state, then it would be closer to New York City, but I don't want to confuse anyone any - especially those affiliated with that before-mentioned school in New Burlington, New Jersey.

In Hazlehurst, Mississippi, a school's principal recently visited Zambia, which has led many parents to keep their children at home, because, you know, "Zambia" sounds like an illness all on its own. With the fact it's also located in Africa, well, that's doubly as troubling. However, sarcasm aside (for just a moment), Zambia is located in the southern part of Africa, which is over 3,000 miles away from any area which is being hit by the Ebola outbreak. That's the same distance as it is from New Hampshire to Los Angeles. Yes, once again, New Hampshire is on the east coast and Los Angeles is on the west coast. They're as much neighbors as I am to Prince Charles and Kate Middleton.

In Poplarville, Mississippi, a school bus driver, whom had recently visited Ghana, is not being allowed to return to work. Ghana is over 1,000 miles away from the Ebola outbreak. That's similar to the distance between Chicago, Illinois, and Savannah, Georgia. Chicago is in the middle portion of the country while Savannah is in the southeast. That's between a 14- and 15-hour drive. One could watch Gone With the Wind almost four times through in that time-span.

Lastly (for the time being anyway), in Pewaukee, Wisconsin, a school hosted a couple of visitors from Uganda, so this of course led some parents to keep their kids home. Uganda, for the record, is about 3,000 miles away from the Ebola outbreak. Once again, it's about as close to the Ebola outbreak as a virgin is to getting pregnant.

In light of these troubling comments and actions of ignorance with regard to world geography, expect these same people to make the following statements at some point in the future:

- "So, the Middle East is just opposite the Midwest, right? So, like, Tennessee and Kentucky? Is that right?"

- "Don't most Muslims live in Utah?"

- "If Iceland is so icy and Greenland is so green, how can they be so close to one another?"

- "Those Swedish Swiss are something else!"

- "So, what's Malaysia? Did Massachusetts buy Asia or something?"

- "Because of how similar they sound, I bet you Austria and Australia are just as close as New York and New Jersey."

- "Is Central America north or south of North and South America?"

- "I wonder if New Mexico has as many illegals coming into this country as Mexico."

- "Is there a country by the name of chicken near Turkey? Mm... I'm getting hungry."

- "What kind of name is Canada anyway? No, you cannot ada! U.SA.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.!"

http://thinkprogress.org/health/2014/10/21/3582113/africa-geography-ebola/

Comments

  1. It's amazing how stupid and prone to fear some people can be.

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