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My counter to the GOP's revised version of "The Little Red Hen"

I just recently stumbled upon a Facebook post which made me shake my head and I felt the need to rebut.

Here's what the post said:

"One of my favorite days every school year.... We are reading 'The Little Red Hen' in class. For those who aren't familiar, the brunt of the story is that The Little Red Hen goes through a rigorous step by step process to bake bread. During each step she asks for help from her friends, but they repeatedly have an excuse as to why they cant help. Finally, when it is time to eat the bread the friends are ready to help. Several years back one of my first graders asked 'Mr. Smith....the little red hen....are her friends Democrats?' Hey....at least they are making inferences..."

Yes, this story is made up, has been around for many years, and revised more times than I care to count. The actual story, The Little Red Hen, is part of the children's book series Little Golden Books, has been around since the 1940s, and revolves around the notion that you get what you work for (and don't get what you don't work for), so good work ethic is of the utmost importance. There wasn't a partisan bent on this story when it was first released, but through the years, conservatives have decided to make it their story, in believing that it accurately depicts the two parties of the past 30+ years. Republicans are the workers and Democrats are the moochers. Republicans are about getting things done and moving forward and Democrats are about doing nothing, twiddling their thumbs, and shutting down the government. Wait... That doesn't sound right... Reverse the parties' names in those two sentences and they will be closer to accurate.

Well, since conservatives have had such a good time in revising this story to, in their minds, accurately reflect the two political parties of today, I feel like countering their revised story with one of my own.

Little Red Hen: "Daddy, what do you think I should be when I grow up?"

Big Red Hen: "Oh, don't worry about that, buster. I'm one of the richest men in the world. You're set for life. You can do anything you want to do - invest in oil, run for president, choke on a pretzel..."

Little Red Hen: "What? What about a pretzel?"

Big Red Hen: "Oh, I'm just teasing you, junior. In all seriousness, though, when I say you can do anything you want, I actually mean that, unlike other parents. You've worked hard for the money I'll give you one day, unlike those poor, lazy moochers, the lamb, the cat, and the pig!"

Little Red Hen: "Work? What's that?"

Big Red Hen: "That's exactly what they say! You're so smart, kid!"

Little Red Hen: "Huh?"

Big Red Hen: "Oh, let's not ask too many questions. So, what do you think you'll do with the billions of dollars I give you for working so hard as my son?"

Little Red Hen: "Whatever you think I should do with it. I want to be just like you, daddy!"

Big Red Hen: "Wise choice! Well, we still have plenty of time to think about that..."

:: after Big Red Hen passes away, he provides junior with his fortune and business, Itchy Fiery Red Bush Bakeries ::

Little Red Hen: :: sits back in his mansion, smoking a cigar, drinking some bourbon, watching his employees work in the process :: "Ah, this is the life... Hey! Cat! What the hell do you think you're doing? You can't take a break for water! Get back to work! I can't do everything myself around here! Jesus, the things they expect me to do for them."

Cat: "Okay, sir. But, sir, can I talk to you about a raise? I just can't keep working this hard and think it's all worth it to support my family. I'm exhausted and have little extra money to do anything with my wife and kids."

Little Red Hen: "Shut it! You should be grateful with your minimum wage salary, you pussy (cat)! Now get back to work!"

Lamb: (to cat) "Are you going to let him talk to you like that?"

Cow: (to both lamb and cat) "Yeah, no kidding, and what was that about him doing all the work? Is he sweating up there?"

Lamb: (to cat) "Probably... He has gotten a bit plump as he's gotten older..."

Cat: (to both lamb and cow): "Psst... He can hear everything we're saying..."

Little Red Hen: "Cat's right! You're all fired!"

Cat: "Even me?"

Little Red Hen: "Even you!"

Cat: "For what?"

Little Red Hen: "For that short water break you took and for just being around those two while they criticized me! I'm not going to take it anymore! Do any of you know how hard I had to work to get to where I am today?"

Lamb: "Do you mean do we know how hard your father's father had to work?"

Cow: "Yeah, how much work did you actually do, Little Red Hen?"

Little Red Hen: "What are you talking about? They did nothing! I built that! I built that all by myself and I'm not going to let anyone tell me any differently!"

Cat: "I'm sorry to bring this up, sir, but are you doing coke again?"

Little Red Hen: "Yes, and I'm going to run for president!

Lamb: "Oh, God help us..."

Cow: "Jesus..."

Cat: "For f**k's sake..."

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