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...and the GOP debate demands are...

Any day now, I'm expecting Weird Al Yankovic to do a parody of the Lesley Gore song, "It's My Party and I'll Cry If I Want To," based on the GOP's response to the CNBC debate, entitled, "It's My Debate and I'll Whine If I Want To." Not only did multiple Republican presidential candidates deflect moderators' detailed questions by criticizing the moderators' line of questioning, the party whined so much after the debate, Ben Ginsberg, the party's attorney, decided to write a draft of debate demands for TV networks hosting future debates. No, I'm not kidding. Even Megyn Kelly of the right-leaning Fox News mocked the debate demands, asking if the candidates wanted a foot massage as well.

Here are a few of the demands:

"Will you commit that you will not:

- Ask the candidates to raise their hands to answer a question

- Ask yes/no questions without time to provide a substantive answer

- Have a 'lightning round'

- Allow candidate-to-candidate questioning

- Allow props or pledges by the candidates

- Have reaction shots of members of the audience or moderators during debates

- Show an empty podium after a break (describe how far away the bathrooms are)

- Use behind shots of the candidates showing their notes

- Leave microphones on during breaks

- Allow members of the audience to wear political messages (shirts, buttons, signs, etc.)"

Not only that, but Ginsberg asked, "Can you pledge that the temperature in the hall be kept below 67 degrees?"

Based on these demands, I'm guessing Ben Ginsberg's final draft will also include the following:

- "You must start every sentence by referring to the GOP candidates as 'the best Senator/Governor/businessperson/neurosurgeon the world has ever known.'"

- "You must allow 1 minute opening and closing statements which allow for the candidates to bash the liberal media."

- "The moderator must not use words that are longer than five letters."

- "If the moderator uses any kind of numbers in their questions, the candidates will walk out."

- "The only specific question you're allowed to ask is, 'What is the definition of a vague question?'"

- "The only follow-up question you may ask is, 'You're right, aren't you?'"

- "Fact-checking is strictly prohibited."

- "During commercial breaks, all of the candidates must receive back massages from supermodels."

- "You must pledge to provide all the candidates with milk bottles and pacifiers."

- "Since the temperature will be at 67 degrees or below, could you must also provide the candidates with a baby blanket and a teddy bear named Teddy."

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/post-politics/wp/2015/11/02/read-the-new-debate-host-questions-ben-ginsberg-has-compiled-from-republican-campaigns/

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