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Jeb's ever-changing campaign slogan

The Jeb Bush presidential campaign has been anything but a smooth one. It started off with the former Florida governor showing a great deal of enthusiasm, which was even displayed in his name via bumper stickers: "Jeb!" As his poll numbers started dropping, however, so too did the exclamation point from his first name. Unfortunately for him, the downward trend continued, so he and his campaign team attempted to change the tide by coming up with a new slogan: "Jeb Can Fix It!" Since the slogan never caught on and resulted in more sarcastic memes than enthusiastic thumbs up, Jeb, in a last ditch effort, decided to share yet another campaign slogan change in the following ad: 

"Hi, I'm Jeb Bush, the former governor of Florida, younger brother of George W., and hopefully your next president. We've gone through a lot throughout this campaign. I went from Jeb! to Jeb, and now, my fellow Americans, I want to be 100% honest with you and tell you that I'm changing my slogan from 'Jeb Can Fix It!' to 'Jeb Might Be Able to Fix Something, Possibly, Maybe, But Probably Not...' Might I be able to fix things? I don't know, maybe. But, I mean, can I fix other things? Definitely not. There are things I can probably fix, others which are nearly impossible to fix, and things which don't really need fixing at all. I can fix unfinished frozen meals, dusty furniture, and unfolded clothes sometimes, but I probably won't be able to fix the economy, war, gun violence, or anything else of great importance to the country at large. One thing I know that needs fixing, though, is my poll numbers, and that's when all of you come in. Please, help me, Jeb Bush, try to fix things I already know I won't be able to fix for you as your next president. Thank you. God bless you all and God bless the United States of America."
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