"The answer is, 'One who gives advice.'" Ben Carson: "What is I don't know?"

A recent New York Times report let it be known that Ben Carson's foreign policy adviser, Duane Clarridge, thinks the GOP candidate knows less about foreign policy than an elephant knows about frequent-flier miles.

In hilarious fashion, Mr. Carson attempted to refute Clarridge's claims by saying the following in an interview with PBS NewsHour on Tuesday night:

"[Calling Mr. Clarridge an adviser] would be a great stretch. He is a person who has come in on a couple of our sessions to offer his opinions about what was going on..."

So Duane Clarridge was offering Ben Carson some words of advice. In other words, he was an an adviser to the GOP hopeful.

Alex Trebek: "...and the answer is, 'One who gives advice.' Yes, Mr. Carson..."

Ben Carson: "What is a person who has come in on a couple of our sessions to offer his opinions about what was going on?"

Trebek: "Yes, and what is the word we're looking for here?"

Carson: "I, I, I don't know..."

Trebek: "I'm sorry, but that's incorrect. We were looking for, 'What is an adviser?' That'll cost you $1,000 and a legitimate shot at the presidency."

Given Carson's response on PBS NewsHour, expect him to make the following such responses in the future:

Media: "Was he the stabbing victim?"

Carson: "That would be a great stretch, He was just the guy I poked hard with a knife over and over again, and made some really disturbing loud noises whenever I did this."

Media: "Is this woman your dentist?"

Carson: "That would be a great stretch. She just brushes, flosses, and looks closely at my teeth every 6 months."

Media: "Is that man over there your brother?"

Carson: "That would be a great stretch. He's just a person of the same gender as myself who came out of the same woman's vagina."

Media: "Was this woman your history professor back in the day?"

Carson: "That would be a great stretch. She was the person at school who told me about a lot of the things that happened in this country's past."

Media: "Is the person you see in the mirror directly in front of you Ben Carson?"

Carson: "That would be a great stretch. It's just some guy who's mouthing the same words at the same time in the same way at the same place that I am right now."

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-34851495

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/advisor

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Boycotting jukeboxes because of TouchTunes

I love music and enjoy hitting the bar(s) over the weekend, so naturally, when the mood strikes me, I've never been coy about playing some songs on the jukebox. This past Thursday, a friend of mine turned 50, so several friends of her's, including myself, all met up to celebrate the occasion. At around 9:30, a friend of mine and I both chipped in $5 to play some songs on the jukebox. Four hours and 231 skips later, we gave up on hearing the songs we had selected, and went home knowing we had just wasted $5. This wasn't the first time such a thing had happened to me (and many others), and due to that, I'll be boycotting jukeboxes. Why? The scam known as TouchTunes. You see, here's how the plot typically breaks down. A person (or group of people) downloads the TouchTunes app on his/her phone, consumes one too many adult beverages, and due to this, has less care for spending extra money to hear the songs of their choosing right NOW. That's the thing with TouchTun...

Trump's Lie Tally at the CNN Debate

1) "We had the greatest economy in the history of our country. We had never done so well. Every – everybody was amazed by it. Other countries were copying us." 2) "But the thing we never got the credit for, and we should have, is getting us out of that COVID mess." 3) "The only jobs he created are for illegal immigrants and bounceback jobs; they’re bounced back from the COVID." 4) "Not going to drive them higher. It’s just going to cause countries that have been ripping us off for years, like China and many others, in all fairness to China – it’s going to just force them to pay us a lot of money, reduce our deficit tremendously, and give us a lot of power for other things." (tariffs) 5) "He also said he inherited 9 percent inflation." 6) "No, he inherited almost no inflation and it stayed that way for 14 months. And then it blew up under his leadership, because they spent money like a bunch of people that didn’t know what t...

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