"The answer is, 'One who gives advice.'" Ben Carson: "What is I don't know?"

A recent New York Times report let it be known that Ben Carson's foreign policy adviser, Duane Clarridge, thinks the GOP candidate knows less about foreign policy than an elephant knows about frequent-flier miles.

In hilarious fashion, Mr. Carson attempted to refute Clarridge's claims by saying the following in an interview with PBS NewsHour on Tuesday night:

"[Calling Mr. Clarridge an adviser] would be a great stretch. He is a person who has come in on a couple of our sessions to offer his opinions about what was going on..."

So Duane Clarridge was offering Ben Carson some words of advice. In other words, he was an an adviser to the GOP hopeful.

Alex Trebek: "...and the answer is, 'One who gives advice.' Yes, Mr. Carson..."

Ben Carson: "What is a person who has come in on a couple of our sessions to offer his opinions about what was going on?"

Trebek: "Yes, and what is the word we're looking for here?"

Carson: "I, I, I don't know..."

Trebek: "I'm sorry, but that's incorrect. We were looking for, 'What is an adviser?' That'll cost you $1,000 and a legitimate shot at the presidency."

Given Carson's response on PBS NewsHour, expect him to make the following such responses in the future:

Media: "Was he the stabbing victim?"

Carson: "That would be a great stretch, He was just the guy I poked hard with a knife over and over again, and made some really disturbing loud noises whenever I did this."

Media: "Is this woman your dentist?"

Carson: "That would be a great stretch. She just brushes, flosses, and looks closely at my teeth every 6 months."

Media: "Is that man over there your brother?"

Carson: "That would be a great stretch. He's just a person of the same gender as myself who came out of the same woman's vagina."

Media: "Was this woman your history professor back in the day?"

Carson: "That would be a great stretch. She was the person at school who told me about a lot of the things that happened in this country's past."

Media: "Is the person you see in the mirror directly in front of you Ben Carson?"

Carson: "That would be a great stretch. It's just some guy who's mouthing the same words at the same time in the same way at the same place that I am right now."

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-34851495

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/advisor

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Boycotting jukeboxes because of TouchTunes

I love music and enjoy hitting the bar(s) over the weekend, so naturally, when the mood strikes me, I've never been coy about playing some songs on the jukebox. This past Thursday, a friend of mine turned 50, so several friends of her's, including myself, all met up to celebrate the occasion. At around 9:30, a friend of mine and I both chipped in $5 to play some songs on the jukebox. Four hours and 231 skips later, we gave up on hearing the songs we had selected, and went home knowing we had just wasted $5. This wasn't the first time such a thing had happened to me (and many others), and due to that, I'll be boycotting jukeboxes. Why? The scam known as TouchTunes. You see, here's how the plot typically breaks down. A person (or group of people) downloads the TouchTunes app on his/her phone, consumes one too many adult beverages, and due to this, has less care for spending extra money to hear the songs of their choosing right NOW. That's the thing with TouchTun...

The difference between "looking" and "checking out"

I may be way off with these numbers, but it's my approximation that at least 75% of individuals whom are involved in a serious relationship feel it's perfectly acceptable to "check out" members of the opposite sex they're not involved with. Meanwhile, approximately 25% either don't feel this is acceptable or aren't sure about the matter. I hadn't thought about this matter for a while, but since I've been dating a woman for about 8 months, the topic has been pondered about some. When reading or hearing others discuss this very issue, I often times hear comments similar to the following: "It's human nature to look." "There's nothing wrong with checking others out. I'm sure he/she does it too!" "It's fine to do it. Just don't tell your boyfriend/girlfriend about it or do it in front of them!" "It's natural to find people attractive." When observing the array of comments, I i...

The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

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