#PickUpLinesForRepublicans

My crazy week and a half on Twitter continued last night, as one of the top trending hashtags was #PickUpLinesForRepublicans. It wasn't one of the top trenders for too terribly long, but I had fun with it along the way. Here is a list of the tweets:

1) "What do I like? Shooting guns, long walks on the beach, taking away your rights. Wait, where are you going?"
#PickUpLinesForRepublicans
64 Likes, 50 Retweets

2) "Has anyone ever told you that you're as hot as Kim Davis?"
#PickUpLinesForRepublicans
39 Likes, 30 Retweets

3) "Hey baby, how you doin'? The name's Rush. How would you like to be lucky wife #5?"
#PickUpLinesForRepublicans
23 Likes, 15 Retweets

4) "You're thinking, 'Is that a gun in his pants or is he just happy to see me?' It's a gun & I've got 9 more."
#PickUpLinesForRepublicans
18 Likes, 13 Retweets

5) "If you were the pyramids of Egypt, I'd like to store my grain in you."
#PickUpLinesForRepublicans
17 Likes, 8 Retweets

6) "Hey beautiful. Let's talk, get to know each other. If you ask me any tough questions, though, I'm out of here!"
#PickUpLinesForRepublicans
13 Likes, 5 Retweets

7) "From the moment I saw you, I said to myself, 'Thank God I'm not gay, well, except for that one time in Vegas.'"

14 Likes, 2 Retweets

7) "You look like you could use an honest man whose autobiography is a complete work of fiction."

#PickUpLinesForRepublicans

8 Likes, 8 Retweets

9) "The name's Jeb. I'm known to fix things. How would you like me to fix you? Wait, that didn't come out right..."

#PickUpLinesForRepublicans

9 Likes, 4 Retweets

10) "From the moment you walked in here, I thought to myself, 'What I'd do to have a binder full of her...'"

#PickUpLinesForRepublicans

8 Likes, 4 Retweets

10) "I haven't told many corporations, I mean people this, but you are the sexiest building I've ever laid eyes on."

#PickUpLinesForRepublicans

9 Likes, 3 Retweets

12) "If you like small things as much as I do, from small government to small, well, you know, I'm your guy."

#PickUpLinesForRepublicans

7 Likes, 4 Retweets

12) "Been told by an NRA member he can't control his gun around you? Well, that's what I'm telling you right now."

#PickUpLinesForRepublicans

6 Likes, 5 Retweets

14) "When I look at you, I feel the need to go to confession. Lord, forgive my dirty mind & also destroy Obamacare."

#PickUpLinesForRepublicans

8 Likes, 2 Retweets

14) "Is this seat taken? So, I shot a friend in the face one and got him to apologize."

#PickUpLinesForRepublicans

9 Likes, 1 Retweet

16) "God named me Bush for a reason, because I love Bush... I mean, the band..."

#PickUpLinesForRepublicans

7 Likes, 0 Retweets

16) "You're so fine, even if your name was Benghazi, I'd be all over you like the Kochs on our elections."

#PickUpLinesForRepublicans

4 Likes, 3 Retweets

18) "Is it hot in here or is it just you? It's not the weather. Global warming? When did it last snow in January?"

#PickUpLinesForRepublicans

4 Likes, 2 Retweets

18) "So, since we can't trust the evil Obamacare, how would you like me to be your doctor and take care of you?"

#PickUpLinesForRepublicans

5 Likes, 1 Retweet

20) "Hi, I'm Ben Carson. Let me tell you all about me. Hey, excuse me... Did you fall asleep? Hello?"

#PickUpLinesForRepublicans

4 Likes, 1 Retweet

21) "Dubya once talked about practicing love with women all over, but I just want to practice my love with you."

#PickUpLinesForRepublicans

4 Likes, 0 Retweets

21) "Obama was wrong. See this picture with the Lego castle? I built that!"

#PickUpLinesForRepublicans

2 Likes, 2 Retweets

23) "Wanna dance? I don't know about you, but I feel like dancing more than I did at the last debate."

#PickUpLinesForRepublicans

1 Like, 2 Retweets

23) "We're even now. I don't believe you should take birth-control pills & around you, I don't need Cialis anymore."

#PickUpLinesForRepublicans

2 Likes, 1 Retweet

Total: 281 Likes, 166 Retweets (averages of 11.7 and 6.9)

Boycotting jukeboxes because of TouchTunes

I love music and enjoy hitting the bar(s) over the weekend, so naturally, when the mood strikes me, I've never been coy about playing some songs on the jukebox. This past Thursday, a friend of mine turned 50, so several friends of her's, including myself, all met up to celebrate the occasion. At around 9:30, a friend of mine and I both chipped in $5 to play some songs on the jukebox. Four hours and 231 skips later, we gave up on hearing the songs we had selected, and went home knowing we had just wasted $5. This wasn't the first time such a thing had happened to me (and many others), and due to that, I'll be boycotting jukeboxes. Why? The scam known as TouchTunes. You see, here's how the plot typically breaks down. A person (or group of people) downloads the TouchTunes app on his/her phone, consumes one too many adult beverages, and due to this, has less care for spending extra money to hear the songs of their choosing right NOW. That's the thing with TouchTun

The difference between "looking" and "checking out"

I may be way off with these numbers, but it's my approximation that at least 75% of individuals whom are involved in a serious relationship feel it's perfectly acceptable to "check out" members of the opposite sex they're not involved with. Meanwhile, approximately 25% either don't feel this is acceptable or aren't sure about the matter. I hadn't thought about this matter for a while, but since I've been dating a woman for about 8 months, the topic has been pondered about some. When reading or hearing others discuss this very issue, I often times hear comments similar to the following: "It's human nature to look." "There's nothing wrong with checking others out. I'm sure he/she does it too!" "It's fine to do it. Just don't tell your boyfriend/girlfriend about it or do it in front of them!" "It's natural to find people attractive." When observing the array of comments, I i

The verdict is in. To no one's surprise, Jonathan Hoenig has been found guilty of being an idiot.

Just recently, when discussing the Michael Brown shooting and whether or not race had anything to do with it, Fox News contributor Jonathan Hoenig said, "You know who talks about race? Racists." One moment while I provide Mr. Hoenig with the well deserved slow-clap. :: slow-claps for two seconds :: So, that was quite the line by Mr. Hoenig, wasn't it? "You know who talks about race? Racists." Well, wasn't he just talking about race? So, by his own words, I guess that makes him a racist. Also, if he wants to be consistent, does this mean that people whom talk about gender are sexists and people whom talk about sexual orientation are homophobes? With that line of thinking, Hoenig would engage in the following back-and-forths: Hoenig: "So, who are you voting for?" A woman: "The Democratic candidate, because he's been adamant about his support for equal rights for women." Hoenig: "You sexist feminist nazi!"

The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

Search This Blog