Here's how I rank the Democratic candidates' debate performances from debate 5:
10) Tulsi Gabbard: Her attack-fellow-Democrats shtick is getting a little old. At first she went after Kamala Harris. Then she went after Elizabeth Warren. This time around, she went after Pete Buttigieg. Give it a rest and come up with some ideas of your own. ...besides looking good in front of a camera.
9) Tom Steyer: I have nothing against this guy, but he's simply not a good debater. I suggest we start a petition, where we mandate that if Steyer qualifies for any future debates, Will Ferrell will have to take his place.
8) Bernie Sanders: Sanders didn't give a poor performance, but as I've long stated, when you've seen one Bernie Sanders debate, you've seen them all. Having said that, though, I don't think I'll ever get tired of him saying, "I wrote the damn bill!"
7) Joe Biden: The first half of the debate was arguably Biden's strongest showing of any debate thus far. He stumbled more than a couple of times in the final half, however. His tone-deaf comments about domestic violence may have been the worst of all, in my opinion. "We need to punch at it" or whatever it was he said. The audience responded with an awkward laugh, to which Biden replied, "I'm serious." Yes, we know, Joe...
6) Amy Klobuchar: The Minnesota Senator has drastically improved in her last two debate performances. While I don't think this one was as strong as her showing in debate 4, and I'd be surprised if she saw much of a bump as a result, she deserves at least one more shot on the big stage. One question for her, though: Why's there seemingly always a fan directly above her bangs?
5) Andrew Yang: He didn't get much speaking time, but more varied in his responses than he had been previously ("$1,000 per month per person!"), and also came across as more personable, like he often does in one-on-one interviews. He and his supporters may be upset with his lack of speaking time, but in my opinion, he made the most of it. Typical Asian. Just kidding. Yang has told Asian jokes in previous debates and they came across as awkward, to be nice, so I thought I'd poke fun at said jokes with my own. Get it? Got it? Not so good? Yikes, tough crowd!
4) Elizabeth Warren: Senator Warren did as she so often does - stick to her gameplan, not be derided by potential distraction, and to be unphased by criticism. She's like a machine, only with more planning capability...
3) Kamala Harris: The California Senator had a few good, memorable lines; didn't force any jokes; and seemed more consistent and focused this time around. Nothing earth-shattering, but another solid performance nonetheless. So now the question everyone's asking themselves is WWMRS?, or What Would Maya Rudolph Say?
2) Cory Booker: I really am amazed this guy isn't garnering more traction in the polls. He's a great debater, as he again showcased here; has an optimistic, Obama-like attitude about him; and is a rather eloquent speaker. I guess in the age of Donald Trump, those qualities aren't very high on the priority ladder...
1) Pete Buttigieg: With his poll numbers on the rise, Mayor Pete received more hits here than he had in debates past, but he fended off the critiques rather well, and exited the debate largely unscathed. Also, his response to Tulsi Gabbard's amateurish attack was priceless! "My military experience wasn't as quality as yours? Well, at least I didn't sit down with a terrorist dictator." :: mic drop :: Boom!
10) Tulsi Gabbard: Her attack-fellow-Democrats shtick is getting a little old. At first she went after Kamala Harris. Then she went after Elizabeth Warren. This time around, she went after Pete Buttigieg. Give it a rest and come up with some ideas of your own. ...besides looking good in front of a camera.
9) Tom Steyer: I have nothing against this guy, but he's simply not a good debater. I suggest we start a petition, where we mandate that if Steyer qualifies for any future debates, Will Ferrell will have to take his place.
8) Bernie Sanders: Sanders didn't give a poor performance, but as I've long stated, when you've seen one Bernie Sanders debate, you've seen them all. Having said that, though, I don't think I'll ever get tired of him saying, "I wrote the damn bill!"
7) Joe Biden: The first half of the debate was arguably Biden's strongest showing of any debate thus far. He stumbled more than a couple of times in the final half, however. His tone-deaf comments about domestic violence may have been the worst of all, in my opinion. "We need to punch at it" or whatever it was he said. The audience responded with an awkward laugh, to which Biden replied, "I'm serious." Yes, we know, Joe...
6) Amy Klobuchar: The Minnesota Senator has drastically improved in her last two debate performances. While I don't think this one was as strong as her showing in debate 4, and I'd be surprised if she saw much of a bump as a result, she deserves at least one more shot on the big stage. One question for her, though: Why's there seemingly always a fan directly above her bangs?
5) Andrew Yang: He didn't get much speaking time, but more varied in his responses than he had been previously ("$1,000 per month per person!"), and also came across as more personable, like he often does in one-on-one interviews. He and his supporters may be upset with his lack of speaking time, but in my opinion, he made the most of it. Typical Asian. Just kidding. Yang has told Asian jokes in previous debates and they came across as awkward, to be nice, so I thought I'd poke fun at said jokes with my own. Get it? Got it? Not so good? Yikes, tough crowd!
4) Elizabeth Warren: Senator Warren did as she so often does - stick to her gameplan, not be derided by potential distraction, and to be unphased by criticism. She's like a machine, only with more planning capability...
3) Kamala Harris: The California Senator had a few good, memorable lines; didn't force any jokes; and seemed more consistent and focused this time around. Nothing earth-shattering, but another solid performance nonetheless. So now the question everyone's asking themselves is WWMRS?, or What Would Maya Rudolph Say?
2) Cory Booker: I really am amazed this guy isn't garnering more traction in the polls. He's a great debater, as he again showcased here; has an optimistic, Obama-like attitude about him; and is a rather eloquent speaker. I guess in the age of Donald Trump, those qualities aren't very high on the priority ladder...
1) Pete Buttigieg: With his poll numbers on the rise, Mayor Pete received more hits here than he had in debates past, but he fended off the critiques rather well, and exited the debate largely unscathed. Also, his response to Tulsi Gabbard's amateurish attack was priceless! "My military experience wasn't as quality as yours? Well, at least I didn't sit down with a terrorist dictator." :: mic drop :: Boom!
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