Skip to main content

#FakeTabloidFacts

I had a little fun with the trending Twitter hashtag #FakeTabloidFacts over the weekend. Here are my tweets, ordered from the most to least popular (all my tweets can be viewed here - https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki):

1) Rush Limbaugh, Donald Trump, Newt Gingrich, & Kim Davis, w/their 14 marriages, author the new book, "Sanctity of Marriage"
#FakeTabloidFacts
28 Likes, 23 Retweets

2) 5 out of every 4 studies suggests U.S. is falling behind in math
#FakeTabloidFacts
27 Likes, 12 Retweets

3) The NRA teaches the new philosophy class, "If someone's shot/killed by a gun but no one's there to see it, did it happen?"
#FakeTabloidFacts
26 Likes, 11 Retweets

4) Alice Cooper, Marilyn Manson, & Rob Zombie to start their "Not As Creepy As Cruz and Fiorina Tour" in Angel City, Florida
#FakeTabloidFacts
21 Likes, 12 Retweets

5) Donald Trump, Chris Christie, and Bill O'Reilly form the boy band Old Pricks On the Block
#FakeTabloidFacts
16 Likes, 6 Retweets

Ted Cruz temporarily shuts down his mouth to help improve the mental health in this country
#FakeTabloidFacts
15 Likes, 6 Retweets

5) The GOP alters its logo from an elephant to a hybrid of a sloth and a jackass
#FakeTabloidFacts
18 Likes, 3 Retweets

7) President Trump deports his wife
#FakeTabloidFacts
13 Likes, 7 Retweets

7) Jesus makes an appearance on election day to vote against Trump
#FakeTabloidFacts
20 Likes, 0 Retweets

9) George W. Bush finally finds WMDs, in the form of Dick Cheney's hunting rifles
#FakeTabloidFacts
16 Likes, 3 Retweets

9) Christians accept bakeries not serving them because of religious freedom
#FakeTabloidFacts
16 Likes, 3 Retweets

11) Study proves commercial's accuracy: Cialis does prompt two people to hold hands while sitting in separate bathtubs outside
#FakeTabloidFacts
15 Likes, 2 Retweets

12) Ted Cruz & Carly Fiorina's Creepy Children's Songs Tour to kick off in Hell, Michigan
#FakeTabloidFacts
12 Likes, 4 Retweets

12) Ted Cruz named People magazine's sexiest man alive
#FakeTabloidFacts
15 Likes, 1 Retweet

14) Study shows link between tiny unnaturally orange hands and tremendously unbelievably yuuuge manhood
#FakeTabloidFacts
11 Likes, 4 Retweets

14) Congressional pro-life Republicans pass a bill to protect the lives of puppy monkey babies
#FakeTabloidFacts
11 Likes, 4 Retweets

14) Fox News to soon air the special, "President Obama: We're Going to Miss Him"
#FakeTabloidFacts
11 Likes, 4 Retweets

14) Beyonce's "Lemonade" was actually about Dr. Pepper
#FakeTabloidFacts
12 Likes, 3 Retweets

18) Donald Trump is smarter than a 5th grader
#FakeTabloidFacts
10 Likes, 4 Retweets

18) Ben Carson starts the Christian metal band Grainy Godly Rockin' Pyramids
#FakeTabloidFacts
11 Likes, 3 Retweets

18) A drunken Sarah Palin sees Russia on a large map in her room standing two feet away
#FakeTabloidFacts
11 Likes, 3 Retweets

18) Nickelback plays the Star-Spangled Banner, make it sound eerily similar to all their other songs
#FakeTabloidFacts
13 Likes, 1 Retweet

22) Stephen Hawking has meltdown over his latest horoscope
#FakeTabloidFacts
10 Likes, 2 Retweets

22) Ted Cruz writes the new book, "How to Dunk a Basketball Ring"
#FakeTabloidFacts
11 Likes, 1 Retweet

24) Trump Steaks and Vodka said to cure cancer
#FakeTabloidFacts
7 Likes, 4 Retweets

24) A pregnant Bristol Palin teaches abstinence-only classes
#FakeTabloidFacts
10 Likes, 1 Retweet

26) January snow in Buffalo, New York disproves global warming
#FakeTabloidFacts
6 Likes, 2 Retweets

26) God convicted of voter fraud after casting votes for every GOP candidate who heard his calling
#FakeTabloidFacts
7 Likes, 1 Retweet

26) Ted Cruz and Carly Fiorina to now go by the name Carluzina
#FakeTabloidFacts
7 Likes, 1 Retweet

29) Reince Priebus' real name is Rubin Creepies
#FakeTabloidFacts
5 Likes, 2 Retweets

29) Kay Jewelry goes bankrupt shortly after changing its tagline to, "Every kiss begins with two shots of whiskey"
#FakeTabloidFacts
5 Likes, 2 Retweets

29) Jeb Bush officially changes his name to Jeb???
#FakeTabloidFacts
6 Likes, 1 Retweet

29) Gandhi breaks the world record for selfies
#FakeTabloidFacts
6 Likes, 1 Retweet

29) The summer Olympics to add the following events: Thumb wrestling, shake-weight lifting, and mountain unicycling
#FakeTabloidFacts
7 Likes, 0 Retweets

34) Mike Huckabee claims he was gay before hearing "Cat Scratch Fever"
#FakeTabloidFacts
5 Likes, 1 Reweet

35) Bill Clinton joins http://FarmersOnly.com  & writes in his profile, "If is = farmer, what is 'is'?"
#FakeTabloidFacts
4 Likes, 1 Retweet

35) Santa Claus takes off Christmas to watch a Tim Allen holiday movie marathon
#FakeTabloidFacts
5 Likes, 0 Retweets

37) At the Oscars, every acceptance speech started with the actors thanking Paparazzis
#FakeTabloidFacts
3 Likes, 1 Retweet

37) Lady Gaga changes her name to Lady Googoo
#FakeTabloidFacts
4 Likes, 0 Retweets

39) "Literally" started becoming cool when the Bible was being written
#FakeTabloidFacts
3 Likes, 0 Retweets

40) Central Ohio man who didn't purchase a lottery ticket wins the $300 million jackpot
#FakeTabloidFacts
1 Like, 1 Retweet

40) Clarence Thomas starts his own talk show
#FakeTabloidFacts
2 Likes, 0 Retweets

40) Michael Bay goes romantic comedy/porn with his latest film, "Explosions In My Heart and Elsewhere"
#FakeTabloidFacts
2 Likes, 0 Retweets

40) Study shows lifting shake weights in bars the most effective way to "pick up chicks"
#FakeTabloidFacts
2 Likes, 0 Retweets

44) The president of Jared's (The Galleria of Jewelry), Mark Light, went to Kroger's
#FakeTabloidFacts
1 Like, 0 Retweets

Totals: 467 Likes, 141 Retweets (Averages of 10.6 Likes, 3.2 Retweets)
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Boycotting jukeboxes because of TouchTunes

I love music and enjoy hitting the bar(s) over the weekend, so naturally, when the mood strikes me, I've never been coy about playing some songs on the jukebox. This past Thursday, a friend of mine turned 50, so several friends of her's, including myself, all met up to celebrate the occasion. At around 9:30, a friend of mine and I both chipped in $5 to play some songs on the jukebox. Four hours and 231 skips later, we gave up on hearing the songs we had selected, and went home knowing we had just wasted $5. This wasn't the first time such a thing had happened to me (and many others), and due to that, I'll be boycotting jukeboxes. Why? The scam known as TouchTunes. You see, here's how the plot typically breaks down. A person (or group of people) downloads the TouchTunes app on his/her phone, consumes one too many adult beverages, and due to this, has less care for spending extra money to hear the songs of their choosing right NOW. That's the thing with TouchTun
2 comments
Read more

The difference between "looking" and "checking out"

I may be way off with these numbers, but it's my approximation that at least 75% of individuals whom are involved in a serious relationship feel it's perfectly acceptable to "check out" members of the opposite sex they're not involved with. Meanwhile, approximately 25% either don't feel this is acceptable or aren't sure about the matter. I hadn't thought about this matter for a while, but since I've been dating a woman for about 8 months, the topic has been pondered about some. When reading or hearing others discuss this very issue, I often times hear comments similar to the following: "It's human nature to look." "There's nothing wrong with checking others out. I'm sure he/she does it too!" "It's fine to do it. Just don't tell your boyfriend/girlfriend about it or do it in front of them!" "It's natural to find people attractive." When observing the array of comments, I i
Post a Comment
Read more

The verdict is in. To no one's surprise, Jonathan Hoenig has been found guilty of being an idiot.

Just recently, when discussing the Michael Brown shooting and whether or not race had anything to do with it, Fox News contributor Jonathan Hoenig said, "You know who talks about race? Racists." One moment while I provide Mr. Hoenig with the well deserved slow-clap. :: slow-claps for two seconds :: So, that was quite the line by Mr. Hoenig, wasn't it? "You know who talks about race? Racists." Well, wasn't he just talking about race? So, by his own words, I guess that makes him a racist. Also, if he wants to be consistent, does this mean that people whom talk about gender are sexists and people whom talk about sexual orientation are homophobes? With that line of thinking, Hoenig would engage in the following back-and-forths: Hoenig: "So, who are you voting for?" A woman: "The Democratic candidate, because he's been adamant about his support for equal rights for women." Hoenig: "You sexist feminist nazi!"
Post a Comment
Read more