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A conversation with Melania Trump

Anderson Cooper: "So, how have you been liking this weather we've been having in the area? Too hot for me, I tell you!"

Melania Trump: "I'm only happy when it rains. I'm only happy when it's complicated. And though I know you can't appreciate it. I'm only happy when it rains."

Cooper: "Okay then. Let's move on to something else. With your husband as the Republican presidential nominee, going head-to-head with Democratic candidate Hillary Clinton, if Secretary Clinton were here right at this very moment, what would you have to say to her?"

Trump: "I don't like a thing about your mother. And I, I hate your daddy's guts too. I don't like a thing about your sister, no, no. 'Cause I, I, I, think sex is overrated too."

Cooper: "Secretary Clinton's parents have passed and she doesn't have a sister. I won't even comment on that other bit. Perhaps I should go a different route and give you more control of this discussion. So, Melania, what's on your mind?"

Trump: "Do you have the time to listen to me whine about nothing and everything all at once?"

Cooper: "Sadly, I do."

Trump: "I am one of those melodramatic fools - neurotic to the bone, no doubt about it."

Cooper: "Oh, so you weren't done. Okay, that strategy didn't work. Let's talk about something else. What kind of music are you into?"

Trump: "Because you know I'm all about that bass, 'bout that bass, no treble. I'm all about that bass, 'bout that bass, no treble. I'm all about that bass, 'bout that bass, no treble. I'm all about that bass, 'bout that bass... bass... bass... bass."

Cooper: "I have to say, this has been a very interesting interview thus far. Speaking of interesting, your husband - Donald J. Trump. The two of you have been married for about 11 years now. If I were him, what would you have to say?"

Trump: "It's been so lonely without u here, like a bird without a song. Nothing can stop these lonely tears from falling. Tell me baby where did I go wrong?"

Cooper: "Okay, I regret asking that question. Let's move on to something..."

Trump: "I could put my arms around every boy I see, but they'd only remind me of you. I went to the doctor and guess what he told me? Guess what he told me? He said, 'Girl, you better try to have fun no matter what you do.' But he's a fool. 'Cause nothing compares, nothing compares 2 u."

Cooper: "This conversation has gone from interesting to extremely uncomfortable. Why don't you tell us something about yourself the public probably doesn't already know? Something interesting, something that makes Melania Trump Melania Trump..."

Trump: "I do not like green eggs and ham. I do not like them, Sam-I-am."

Cooper: "Fascinating. I, like millions of other Americans, learned something new about you today. Now, if your husband becomes president, what are your goals going forward while he's in office?"

Trump: "I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: 'We hold these truths to be self-evidence, that all men are created equal.' I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, and every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight; 'and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed and all flesh shall see it together.'"

Cooper: "Inspiring words indeed... Speaking of inspiration, do you have any words of advice to the young girls out there who want to one day be as successful as you?"

Trump: "Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get."

Cooper: "That wasn't exactly inspirational. Is there anything else you'd like to say to today's youth?"

Trump: "We are the champions, my friends. And we'll keep on fighting 'til the end. We are the champions; we are the champions. No time for losers, 'cause we are the champions of the world."

Cooper: "That's better, I guess. Well, I'm afraid we're going to have to wrap up this discussion. Thank you for your time with us on CNN today, Melania, and best of luck with all of your future endeavors."

Trump: "I know that I can't take no more. It ain't no lie. I want to see you out that door. Baby, bye, bye, bye."

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