More information on my new book, "LOL at the GOP - Volume 3: Guns Don't Kill, Cars Don't Drive, and Ovens Don't Bake"
Introduction - I’d like to order a big gun, but light on the common sense, no research, and a side of crazy
It has seemed apparent that many Republicans, especially those in Congress, have a number of “G-Spots” - subjects which appear to provide them intense pleasure. These subjects include guns, God, and gays.
Sure, most Congressional Republicans have adamantly declared they’re against gay marriage. However, often times these declarations have been so dramatic and over-the-top, it has appeared as though while lambasting gay marriage, these individuals are orgasming and reaching for a cigarette.
The subject of God provides a similar outcome. In fact, while bashing gay marriage, I believe I’ve witnessed several Congressional Republicans climax, as they’ve closed their eyes and mumbled the words, “Oh, God!”
That brings us to guns, which are, without question, the biggest G-Spot of all for many Republicans. Guns are often times thick, hard, black, and go boom with just a pull of the trigger. Whenever an individual calls for more regulation of these devices, it results in an explosion unlike any other from Republicans in Congress.
These three G-Spots and plenty of other topics are discussed in LOL at the GOP - Volume 3: Guns Don’t Kill, Cars Don’t Drive, and Ovens Don’t Bake, where you’ll learn all about the killing ovens, the baking cars, and the driving guns, or something to that effect.
Contents
Epigraph by Jesus - p. 3
Introduction - I’d like to order a big gun, but light on the common sense, no research, and a side of crazy - p. 9
The Future of the Republican Primary - p. 10
Romney becomes one with his innermost Bush - p. 12
Former "decider" + library + hindsight = Decision Points Theater - p. 14
Obama in Wonderland…without his teleprompter - p. 16
Skeet-Shooting-Gate - p. 17
Five accidentally shot on Gun Appreciation Day - p. 21
The NRA's "National Organizations With Anti-Gun Policies" list - p. 22
Guns in churches? The Arkansas Senate says Hallelujah to that! - p. 24
“…and the answer is, ‘This is how to end gun violence.’ Yes, Rick Perry...”
“What is prayer?” - p. 25
In Sanford They Trust - p. 27
A New Hampshire lawmaker smooth-talks vaginas, I mean, women… - p. 29
What do you call a man who takes a stand, votes the other way, before taking another stand? John Cornyn - p. 30
Planned Parenthood = infinite abortions, as well as contraceptive services which reduces the odds of abortions. Wait… - p. 31
The link between abortions and school shootings - p. 33
Ohio takes a small step toward abstinence-only education and a giant step toward abstaining from common sense - p. 34
The AFA (American Family Association) Still Talking Cray-Cray - p. 37
John Boehner has three words for Harry Reid, and they’re not, “Please kiss me.” - p. 42
Who likes abusive relationships? Just ask New Hampshire legislator Mark Warden... - p. 42
The Bible states that the end of the world starts with gay marriage being legalized in America! - p. 44
Dr. Ben Carson should probably clarify his clarification... - p. 46
Rick Santorum comes out! …against gay marriage - p. 49
Getting schooled on gay marriage - brought to you by a child - p. 51
The word is "asinine." "Asinine. S-T-A-C-E-Y C-A-M-P-F-I-E-LD. Asinine." - p. 53
Stella (Tremblay) goes mad!!! - p. 57
Hillary Clinton said what? "What difference, at this point, does it make?" Ah, yes, plus a few additional words... - p. 60
House Oversight Chairman Darrell Issa knows what no one else knows - how to differentiate between the terms "act of terror" and "terrorist attack" - p. 64
According to Steve King, Benghazi = Watergate + Iran-Contra x 10. A more accurate equation would be Steve King = an idiot - p. 67
Is the 37th time the charm? - p. 69
What Republicans hate most about President Obama. Take one. …and action! - p. 73
Right-wing website Capitol Hill Daily appears to hear about the news at a slower pace than a deceased sloth moves - p. 74
A Florida Senator says executions aren't about guilt or innocence, but about "timely justice" - p. 76
“Fighting for Louisiana Felons’ Right to Own Guns” sounds like a bad Beastie Boys song - p. 78
Nelson, Georgia “mandates” the ownership of guns which don’t need to be owned - p. 80
The Constitutionally Conflicted Bob Goodlatte - p. 82
An Arkansas conservative says Republican state legislators should be shot for expanding Medicaid - p. 83
“They’re going to take away my guns!” - p. 85
The Wannabe Smartass - p. 93
"(X) is more dangerous than guns!" - p. 95
Caressing a gun Lamar Alexander-style - p. 99
“Guns don’t kill people; guns in video games do!” - p. 100
Fear the credit card!!! - p. 102
A Virginia pizza shop offers a 15% discount to anyone carrying a gun. What about for a rocket launcher? - p. 103
A Utah smoothie shop attempts to make a point by charging liberals more than conservatives - the point being that history is not the owner’s strong suit - p. 105
John McCain is 76 going on 13 - p. 108
Senator James Inhofe exhibits ignorant pride (or pride in being ignorant) - p. 109
Conserving the environment turns off conservatives - p. 112
A Utah man + a rifle + a pistol + JC Penney's = ? - p. 114
What do guns, churches, breakfasts, and library books have in common? - p. 115
The Slippery Gohmert - p. 117
A Colorado State Senator celebrates opposite day - p. 119
When 90% is less than 10% (an allegory on the Manchin-Toomey background check bill) - p. 122
The story of Buster Magnum - a felon without a job or Sudafed, but with plenty of guns - p. 124
The day the NRA RAN from the press - p. 126
References - p. 130
Acknowledgements - p. 152
About the Author - p. 153
Again, as promised, and not coincidentally, my new book - LOL at the GOP - Volume 3: Guns Don't Kill, Cars Don't Drive, and Ovens Don't Bake is now available for purchase in paperback and will soon be available to purchase on Amazon Kindle - on the 6-month anniversary of the Sandy Hook school shooting.
In paperback, the book was originally $12.50, but with the 5% discount I included, the book is $11.88. If you add the coupon code FAST5 when purchasing the book, that will drop the price of it down to $11.29.
For the time being, the book can be viewed and purchased in paperback at the following link:
http://www.lulu.com/shop/craig-rozniecki/lol-at-the-gop-volume-3-guns-dont-kill-cars-dont-drive-and-ovens-dont-bake/paperback/product-21060371.html
It will become available on other sites in the days and weeks to come.
In all likelihood, later today, the book will become available in the Kindle format at the following link:
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=craig%20rozniecki%20kindle
The price of this book, like with all my others, will be $2.99 at Amazon Kindle.
If you have any questions, feel free ask me by either commenting on this blog or shooting me an e-mail at CRozniecki@gmail.com. I'll do my best to answer any question you have as quickly as I can get around to it.
Also, if you've yet to "like" my Facebook business page, and would like to receive regular updates about my writing projects, please go to the following URL and click "like" on the far right-hand side across from my picture: http://www.facebook.com/AuthorCraigRozniecki
Lastly, if you'd like to follow me on my Twitter account, you may do so at this URL - https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki
It has seemed apparent that many Republicans, especially those in Congress, have a number of “G-Spots” - subjects which appear to provide them intense pleasure. These subjects include guns, God, and gays.
Sure, most Congressional Republicans have adamantly declared they’re against gay marriage. However, often times these declarations have been so dramatic and over-the-top, it has appeared as though while lambasting gay marriage, these individuals are orgasming and reaching for a cigarette.
The subject of God provides a similar outcome. In fact, while bashing gay marriage, I believe I’ve witnessed several Congressional Republicans climax, as they’ve closed their eyes and mumbled the words, “Oh, God!”
That brings us to guns, which are, without question, the biggest G-Spot of all for many Republicans. Guns are often times thick, hard, black, and go boom with just a pull of the trigger. Whenever an individual calls for more regulation of these devices, it results in an explosion unlike any other from Republicans in Congress.
These three G-Spots and plenty of other topics are discussed in LOL at the GOP - Volume 3: Guns Don’t Kill, Cars Don’t Drive, and Ovens Don’t Bake, where you’ll learn all about the killing ovens, the baking cars, and the driving guns, or something to that effect.
Contents
Epigraph by Jesus - p. 3
Introduction - I’d like to order a big gun, but light on the common sense, no research, and a side of crazy - p. 9
The Future of the Republican Primary - p. 10
Romney becomes one with his innermost Bush - p. 12
Former "decider" + library + hindsight = Decision Points Theater - p. 14
Obama in Wonderland…without his teleprompter - p. 16
Skeet-Shooting-Gate - p. 17
Five accidentally shot on Gun Appreciation Day - p. 21
The NRA's "National Organizations With Anti-Gun Policies" list - p. 22
Guns in churches? The Arkansas Senate says Hallelujah to that! - p. 24
“…and the answer is, ‘This is how to end gun violence.’ Yes, Rick Perry...”
“What is prayer?” - p. 25
In Sanford They Trust - p. 27
A New Hampshire lawmaker smooth-talks vaginas, I mean, women… - p. 29
What do you call a man who takes a stand, votes the other way, before taking another stand? John Cornyn - p. 30
Planned Parenthood = infinite abortions, as well as contraceptive services which reduces the odds of abortions. Wait… - p. 31
The link between abortions and school shootings - p. 33
Ohio takes a small step toward abstinence-only education and a giant step toward abstaining from common sense - p. 34
The AFA (American Family Association) Still Talking Cray-Cray - p. 37
John Boehner has three words for Harry Reid, and they’re not, “Please kiss me.” - p. 42
Who likes abusive relationships? Just ask New Hampshire legislator Mark Warden... - p. 42
The Bible states that the end of the world starts with gay marriage being legalized in America! - p. 44
Dr. Ben Carson should probably clarify his clarification... - p. 46
Rick Santorum comes out! …against gay marriage - p. 49
Getting schooled on gay marriage - brought to you by a child - p. 51
The word is "asinine." "Asinine. S-T-A-C-E-Y C-A-M-P-F-I-E-LD. Asinine." - p. 53
Stella (Tremblay) goes mad!!! - p. 57
Hillary Clinton said what? "What difference, at this point, does it make?" Ah, yes, plus a few additional words... - p. 60
House Oversight Chairman Darrell Issa knows what no one else knows - how to differentiate between the terms "act of terror" and "terrorist attack" - p. 64
According to Steve King, Benghazi = Watergate + Iran-Contra x 10. A more accurate equation would be Steve King = an idiot - p. 67
Is the 37th time the charm? - p. 69
What Republicans hate most about President Obama. Take one. …and action! - p. 73
Right-wing website Capitol Hill Daily appears to hear about the news at a slower pace than a deceased sloth moves - p. 74
A Florida Senator says executions aren't about guilt or innocence, but about "timely justice" - p. 76
“Fighting for Louisiana Felons’ Right to Own Guns” sounds like a bad Beastie Boys song - p. 78
Nelson, Georgia “mandates” the ownership of guns which don’t need to be owned - p. 80
The Constitutionally Conflicted Bob Goodlatte - p. 82
An Arkansas conservative says Republican state legislators should be shot for expanding Medicaid - p. 83
“They’re going to take away my guns!” - p. 85
The Wannabe Smartass - p. 93
"(X) is more dangerous than guns!" - p. 95
Caressing a gun Lamar Alexander-style - p. 99
“Guns don’t kill people; guns in video games do!” - p. 100
Fear the credit card!!! - p. 102
A Virginia pizza shop offers a 15% discount to anyone carrying a gun. What about for a rocket launcher? - p. 103
A Utah smoothie shop attempts to make a point by charging liberals more than conservatives - the point being that history is not the owner’s strong suit - p. 105
John McCain is 76 going on 13 - p. 108
Senator James Inhofe exhibits ignorant pride (or pride in being ignorant) - p. 109
Conserving the environment turns off conservatives - p. 112
A Utah man + a rifle + a pistol + JC Penney's = ? - p. 114
What do guns, churches, breakfasts, and library books have in common? - p. 115
The Slippery Gohmert - p. 117
A Colorado State Senator celebrates opposite day - p. 119
When 90% is less than 10% (an allegory on the Manchin-Toomey background check bill) - p. 122
The story of Buster Magnum - a felon without a job or Sudafed, but with plenty of guns - p. 124
The day the NRA RAN from the press - p. 126
References - p. 130
Acknowledgements - p. 152
About the Author - p. 153
Again, as promised, and not coincidentally, my new book - LOL at the GOP - Volume 3: Guns Don't Kill, Cars Don't Drive, and Ovens Don't Bake is now available for purchase in paperback and will soon be available to purchase on Amazon Kindle - on the 6-month anniversary of the Sandy Hook school shooting.
In paperback, the book was originally $12.50, but with the 5% discount I included, the book is $11.88. If you add the coupon code FAST5 when purchasing the book, that will drop the price of it down to $11.29.
For the time being, the book can be viewed and purchased in paperback at the following link:
http://www.lulu.com/shop/craig-rozniecki/lol-at-the-gop-volume-3-guns-dont-kill-cars-dont-drive-and-ovens-dont-bake/paperback/product-21060371.html
It will become available on other sites in the days and weeks to come.
In all likelihood, later today, the book will become available in the Kindle format at the following link:
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=craig%20rozniecki%20kindle
The price of this book, like with all my others, will be $2.99 at Amazon Kindle.
If you have any questions, feel free ask me by either commenting on this blog or shooting me an e-mail at CRozniecki@gmail.com. I'll do my best to answer any question you have as quickly as I can get around to it.
Also, if you've yet to "like" my Facebook business page, and would like to receive regular updates about my writing projects, please go to the following URL and click "like" on the far right-hand side across from my picture: http://www.facebook.com/AuthorCraigRozniecki
Lastly, if you'd like to follow me on my Twitter account, you may do so at this URL - https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki
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