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Republicans try to woo minorities with history of the semi-ancient variety

The Republican Party's re-branding effort has gone about as smoothly as a man with Tourette's Syndrome hitting on a blind woman.

Some members of the GOP have admitted the party needs to reach out to a broader range of voters, including women and minorities. However, that hasn't gone so well and an increasing number of Republicans are starting to suggest there's really no point in trying to reach out to such voters.

In a last ditch effort, the party has tried resorting to history to woo the vote of minorities, African-Americans in particular. Members have said, "Which party was mainly responsible for passing the Civil Rights Act and the Voting Rights Act? It was the Republican Party! Come on! Why don't you support the party that supported you back in 1964?"

That's the thing. While it's true that under then Democratic President Lyndon B. Johnson, approximately 80% of Republican House and Senate members voted for the Civil Rights Act and close to 65% of Democratic House and Senate members voted for the bill, that happened almost 50 years ago. Just a few things have changed in the past 50 years.

To illustrate how far back we're talking, here's a list of a few other things that were going on in the year 1964:

- Cost of a new house: $13,050.00

- Average income per year: $6,000.00

- Gas per gallon: $0.30

- Postage stamp: $0.05

- The first Ford Mustang is made (from Ford Motor Company)

- D.C. residents were able to vote in the presidential election for the first time

- MLK received the Nobel Peace Prize

- The Rolling Stones released their debut album ("The Rolling Stones")

- Elizabeth Taylor married Richard Burton for the first time

- Popular films included My Fair Lady and Mary Poppins

In other words, a few things have changed between 1964 and 2013, including both the Republican and Democratic Parties. While a large majority of Republicans voted for the Voting Rights Act of 1965, several Republicans have tried to make it more difficult for minorities to vote in recent election cycles. I'm sure many African-Americans are thankful to the Republican Party of the 1960s. However, I highly doubt many are thankful of the Republican Party of today.

Let's think about that logic for a second here. What many of these Republicans are telling African-Americans is, "We were good to you at one point in our history - 50 years ago, and you voted for us then. Because of that, you have to believe we're good to you now and vote for us." Here are some similar scenarios:

Setting: A woman bumps into her ex-husband at a Wal-Mart, years after his multiple moments of disloyalty prompted a divorce

Mitt Porker: "Hey honey, how are you? Oh, how I've missed you!"

Sasha Smith: "Hi, and thanks, I guess. How have you been?"

Mitt: "Just not the same without you..."

Sasha: "It's been ten years, Mitt. You know I'm married again, right? Aren't you married too?"

Mitt: "I just recently divorced my third wife. But, come on, Sasha. I was your first - your first sexual partner, your first husband, your first love. You belong to me! Be mine again! ...please..."

Sasha: "What the hell is wrong with you? You had your chance, buddy, but you just had to go and sleep with pretty much every girl you spotted at my ten-year high school reunion. ...and then during the divorce, you did my sister, and my mom? How dare you!"

Mitt: "I was just lonely, vulnerable, and very very horny."

Sasha: "Leave me alone! You lost my trust, lost my love, and will never have me again! I now have herpes because of you!"

Mitt: "Come on, baby...just one more chance..."

Sasha: ::sprays him with Mace::


Setting: A cop arrests his former boss for murder

Jerome Biceps: "You're under arrest for the murder of your entire family. You have the right to remain silent..."

Charles Slappy: "Come on, man. You owe me! Remember me? I was your first boss! I gave you your first paycheck! You wouldn't be where you are today without me!"

Jerome: "That was 30 years ago..."

Charles: "But still..."

Jerome: "It was at a Baskin Robbins."

Charles: "Do you really think you'd be a cop today if I didn't give you that job at Baskin Robbins?"

Jerome: "Yes."

Charles: "Well, I disagree."

Jerome: "Shut-up and stop resisting arrest!"

Charles: "You're such a traitor! How could you? How could you arrest your first boss?"

Jerome: "How could you kill your entire family?"

Charles: "They ate all my ice cream!"

Jerome: "Good luck convincing the jury in court with that line of defense. Actually, they might think you're crazy, and probably rightly so."


Setting: Michael Jordan calls the Chicago Bulls to come back and play when he's 70

Michael Jordan: "Hey man, what's up?"

Bulls General Manager: "Hey Michael. Oh, you know - same old, same old. How are things going for you?"

Jordan: "Pretty good. I feel better than I've felt for quite a while, which brings me to why I called you in the first place..."

GM: "Oh? You've got me curious. What's up?"

Jordan: "I want to play again."

GM: ::laughs::

Jordan: "What? What was that?"

GM: "Oh, nothing. My secretary is watching some funny YouTube clip, I think."

Jordan: "That sounded like a dude."

GM: "She is a dude."

Jordan: "Oh... What?"

GM: "Nevermind."

Jordan: "Oh, alright. So, what do you think?"

GM: "Michael, you know I love you. You know how much this city loves you. But, come on, buddy - you're 70 years old..."

Jordan: "I've still got it."

GM: "What's your vertical?"

Jordan: "I don't know - a couple inches."

GM: "What's your 40-time, do you think?"

Jordan: "In my wheelchair, it's about 5.50. With my walker, it's more like 15.50."

GM: "When's the last time you shot a basketball?"

Jordan: "Probably 15 years ago"

GM: "I'm sorry, buddy. I'd love to honor you before a game or at halftime, but we can't sign you to play for us again. I hope you'll understand."

Jordan: "But, I'm Michael Jordan! You have to sign me! Nobody says no to Michael Jordan! Remember how many championship rings I won for you? You owe me!"

GM: "I'm sorry, but it's not going to happen. Call me again if you want to do that pre-game or halftime honor, okay?"

Jordan: "You asked for it! I'm going to personally come over there and slug you with my walker while I'm in my wheelchair! Count on it!"

GM: ::click::

http://www.politifact.com/truth-o-meter/statements/2010/may/25/michael-steele/steele-says-gop-fought-hard-civil-rights-bills-196/

 http://www.thepeoplehistory.com/1964.html

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