So, Donald Trump has signed a pledge to fight against internet pornography. No, really. You can stop laughing now. Okay, I'll give you five more minutes.
:: gives you ten minutes ::
Okay, I'm back. Get all that laughing out of your system? Good. The reason this anti-pornography pledge is so funny is the fact Donald Trump appeared on the cover of Playboy magazine in 1990 (long before nude pictures were banned); his 3rd wife, Melania, has taken nude girl-on-girl photos; the GOP nominee has admitted to being unfaithful to at least two of his three wives and sleeping around quite a bit during his day, often times with married women, etc.
Given the reality of Mr. Trump's history with marriage, infidelity, and pornography, what he's now essentially saying is this:
"I was once the face of a magazine where, if kids flipped through the pages, they could see lots, and I mean lots of vaginas, breasts, and asses. I'm against gay stuff, but think my 3rd wife, Melania's, nude photos, where she and another woman were like all over each other, was pretty cool and hot. So, anyway, as my three wives and many mistresses would agree, I believe in the sanctity of marriage, so I'm sorry gays, you shouldn't be able to get married, and as my appearance in Playboy and Melania's steamy photos should tell you, I'll be the staunchest fighter of pornography the world has ever known!"
Yeah, with that line of thinking (or lack there of), expect The Donald to utter the following lines at some point in the future:
- "I'm signing a pledge to help fight against infidelity. To my first two wives, I'd just like to say, starting now..."
- "I'm vowing to all of you that I'm going to sign a pledge to fight against lying. This is a yuge promise! It's gonna be even bigger than Obama's home country, Kenya!"
- "If nothing else, I plan on signing this pledge to ban orange tanning products. Hey, who's Syracuse play tonight? What time? Nice, I'll be sure to get there by 6. Who says mascots aren't punctual, am I right?"
- "If you elect me, I promise to sign a pledge to fight against racism. Hey Jamal, bring me a pen and that piece of paper thing to sign. Nevermind, you're one of those lazy black people. Jose, you hand them to me instead."
- "Believe me, I'm gonna do everything I can to sign a pledge which fights against fathers giving $1 million loans to their sons. Before I do this, I'd just like to say, 'Thank you, dad. I couldn't have done this without you.'"
http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2016/08/01/playboy-cover-model-donald-trump-pivots-on-porn-signs-pledge.html
:: gives you ten minutes ::
Okay, I'm back. Get all that laughing out of your system? Good. The reason this anti-pornography pledge is so funny is the fact Donald Trump appeared on the cover of Playboy magazine in 1990 (long before nude pictures were banned); his 3rd wife, Melania, has taken nude girl-on-girl photos; the GOP nominee has admitted to being unfaithful to at least two of his three wives and sleeping around quite a bit during his day, often times with married women, etc.
Given the reality of Mr. Trump's history with marriage, infidelity, and pornography, what he's now essentially saying is this:
"I was once the face of a magazine where, if kids flipped through the pages, they could see lots, and I mean lots of vaginas, breasts, and asses. I'm against gay stuff, but think my 3rd wife, Melania's, nude photos, where she and another woman were like all over each other, was pretty cool and hot. So, anyway, as my three wives and many mistresses would agree, I believe in the sanctity of marriage, so I'm sorry gays, you shouldn't be able to get married, and as my appearance in Playboy and Melania's steamy photos should tell you, I'll be the staunchest fighter of pornography the world has ever known!"
Yeah, with that line of thinking (or lack there of), expect The Donald to utter the following lines at some point in the future:
- "I'm signing a pledge to help fight against infidelity. To my first two wives, I'd just like to say, starting now..."
- "I'm vowing to all of you that I'm going to sign a pledge to fight against lying. This is a yuge promise! It's gonna be even bigger than Obama's home country, Kenya!"
- "If nothing else, I plan on signing this pledge to ban orange tanning products. Hey, who's Syracuse play tonight? What time? Nice, I'll be sure to get there by 6. Who says mascots aren't punctual, am I right?"
- "If you elect me, I promise to sign a pledge to fight against racism. Hey Jamal, bring me a pen and that piece of paper thing to sign. Nevermind, you're one of those lazy black people. Jose, you hand them to me instead."
- "Believe me, I'm gonna do everything I can to sign a pledge which fights against fathers giving $1 million loans to their sons. Before I do this, I'd just like to say, 'Thank you, dad. I couldn't have done this without you.'"
http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2016/08/01/playboy-cover-model-donald-trump-pivots-on-porn-signs-pledge.html
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