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#TrumpKimSummit

I had some fun with the #TrumpKimSummit trending hashtag on Twitter over the past couple of days. Here are my tweets, ordered from the most popular to the least popular (all my posts can be seen here - https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki):

1) Apparently, Trump's "Art of the Deal" is this:
1) Give up a lot
2) Receive nothing
3) Pretend it's Opposite Day
4) Repeat these inaccurate claims ad nauseum
5) Have idiots believe you
#TrumpKimSummit
1,043 Likes, 477 Retweets

2) Trumpsters: "Liberals just don't get how great this deal is!"
What's it do?
"Bring world peace!"
How?
"Somehow!"
By when?
"Sometime!"
What's specifically in the deal?
"Things!"
Such as?
"Good things!"
Ah, that explains it...
#TrumpKimSummit
228 Likes, 107 Retweets

3) Trump as a North Korea tour guide:
"To your right are some beaches, just fantastic beaches. Then we got great hotels in front of us. Oh, and here's a live execution to your left. I think that's Kim's cousin. Bad guy, very bad, believe me. Stole some gum."
#TrumpKimSummit #Snark
173 Likes, 80 Retweets

4) Pointing out a political disaster isn't code for "I hope our country fails," just like a meteorologist reporting a tornado isn't code for "I hope it kills a few dozen people named Bob."
#TrumpKimSummit
174 Likes, 64 Retweets

5) Trump writes "DEAL" on a blank piece of paper and signs it.

Trumpsters: "Whoa! Did you see that? This is going to bring about world peace! Finally someone who cares and gets it! MAGA!"
#TrumpKimSummit #Snark
150 Likes, 58 Retweets

6) Trump: "Kneeling during the anthem in protest of police brutality is like very unpatriotic, but shaking hands with a murderous dictator in front of our flag is patriotic, bigly."
#TrumpKimSummit #Snark
119 Likes, 54 Retweets

7) Trump's proposals and "deals" are so vague, you'd think he was writing a horoscope:

"Today's going to be the perfect day for a new deal. It's going to be big; it's going to be good; it's going to be memorable. Tomorrow, do something."
#TrumpKimSummit #Snark
106 Likes, 39 Retweets

8) My Tuesday Psychic Vision
1) Donald Trump steps in dog crap
2) He goes on television and tells the world his crap-infested shoes cure cancer
3) The next morning, polls show 95% of his supporters believe that his literally crappy shoes cure cancer
#TrumpKimSummit
88 Likes, 27 Retweets

9) Trump: "Of course I trust Kim. How could anyone not trust a known liar who's executed family members of his?"
#TrumpKimSummit #Snark
73 Likes, 24 Retweets

10) Trump: "You know, this summit thingy reminds me of an old Chinese adverb that Ivanka or Melania told me about. I'm married to one but would be dating the other if she weren't my daughter. Anyway, the verb is 'Dreams from my father - the audacity of hope.'"
#TrumpKimSummit #Snark
46 Likes, 16 Retweets

10) Trump: "So are your hooker-golden shower deals as good as the ones in Russia? Asking for a friend..."
#TrumpKimSummit #Snark
52 Likes, 10 Retweets

12) The #TrumpKimSummit: That moment when a worm cried as he praised a leech and a slug.
#DennisRodman
45 Likes, 15 Retweets

13) Russian bots, Russian bots,
Go away,
Come again when you have something substantive to say.
#TrumpKimSummit
48 Likes, 11 Retweets

14) Trump: "I've got a question for you."

Kim: "What's that?"

Trump: "So where is North Korea in relation to all the other Koreas? You know, East, West, South, Up, and Down?"
#TrumpKimSummit #Snark
45 Likes, 8 Retweets

15) Rodman: "MAGA!"
Kim: "IHOP!"
Trump: "IHOb!"
Rodman: "MAGA!"
Kim: "IHOP!"
Trump: "IHOb!"
#TrumpKimSummit #Snark
34 Likes, 8 Retweets

16) Trump: "Canada, Mexico - bad. North Korea, Russia - good. Make America great again."
#TrumpKimSummit #Snark
29 Likes, 8 Retweets

17) In other news, Trump will likely give away a Jaguar for a handshake and then tell supporters:

"Did you see that? He totally got screwed. That's deal-making at its finest right there. It's like they say, 'One handshake is worth 1,000 Jaguars. It's true."
#TrumpKimSummit #Snark
21 Likes, 7 Retweets

18) Dear Trumpsters:

Why do you keep on talking about the Iran nuclear deal? I do not think it means what you think it means...
#TrumpKimSummit
19 Likes, 5 Retweets

19) The Art of the Fool: To not fully understand what needs to be fixed nor how to fix it, yet to claim it's fixed due to you and another, without adding any details, claiming as much.
#TrumpKimSummit
14 Likes, 8 Retweets

20) Trump: "I do my own hair. How about you? Have any tips?"

Kim: "Just watch 'Dumb & Dumber'."

Trump: "Hmm... Never seen it. Too smart for me."
#TrumpKimSummit #Snark
10 Likes, 3 Retweets

Totals: 2,517 Likes, 1,029 Retweets (Averages of 125.9 Likes, 51.5 Retweets)

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