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The End of the World - May 21, 2011

Hello and goodbye, I guess. This is my first blog and the world is about to end. I always asked myself if the world were about to end, what would I do? I can now say without any hesitation that I'd write a blog.

Harold Camping, the man whom started this "prophesy," is 89 years old and has already predicted the end of the world. He predicted it back in the '90s and I could be wrong, but from what I hear, that didn't happen. So, Mr. Camping is 0 for 1 (at best) on his end-of-the-world predictions.

How many mulligans does this guy get? It's not like in sports, where an analyst predicts a series of games and gets a few wrong. If he or she gets the majority right, they're looked at as being very knowledgeable about the sport. Predicting the end of the world is a different matter. It's not like I'm given a talk show and on X date, I pick out ten days when I believe the rapture will occur. I may get the first nine wrong, but believe me, #10 will be spot on!

Can this philosophy work in other arenas as well? If I take a math test and answer the first five questions incorrectly, can I disregard those as irrelevant and persuade the teacher to only grade questions six through ten, which I answered correctly? Can I convince a blackjack dealer after losing all my money on eleven consecutive hands that I will win big on the twelfth? After messing up with a kama sutra position one-hundred sixty-two straight times, would it really be possible for me to convince my lady friend that I'll perfect the art of that particular position with attempt #163? Count on it! If life could only give a person so many chances.

"Jordan goes up for the shot. 3, 2, 1... ...it hits the back of the rim and rolls out. The Los Angeles Lakers are NBA Champions! Oh, wait a minute... What is this? Michael Jordan has asked for a re-do! Let's try this again. The Lakers' title has been put on hold for another few seconds." - Marv Albert or someone else not named Marv Albert

"We can now call him President Barack Obama, as he now has enough electoral votes to make it mathematically impossible for John McCain to win the election. John McCain is about to give his recession speech. Well, I guess it's not a recession. Let's hear what he has to say." - Brian Williams

"My friends, I may have lost this election, but I have not lost it. We're going to do this over again and this time, get it right! My friends, I may not have won this first time, but this first time is definitely not the last time. The second time may not be the last time. The 433rd time may not be the last time. My friends, my friends, my friends. Let's do this until we get it right and yes, that's what she said. Cindy? Come here, baby." - John McCain

Where Mr. Camping went wrong was in using specific dates. This is why some people buy into horoscopes or the words of sacred texts. I'm not saying these are accurate or inaccurate, but they'd lose a bit of their attraction if they used specificity instead of vagueness and if the dates came and passed without anything significant occurring, some people may begin to lose faith in astrology and/or religion.

"...and thou (Jesus) shallst return on February 16th of 1997, where he will save those worthy of being saved and dispose of those to the eternal fire known as Death Valley, California, whom have disgraced him." - Some unknown verse in The Bible

After February 16th of 1997 came and went, most people would then think to themselves, "Huh, well, that was complete nonsense. Looks like I can sleep in and watch football on Sundays."

Harold Camping already used this specificity to predict the rapture several years ago and was inaccurate in this prognostication. Due to this, it's difficult for most rational people to have much faith in the 89-year old's words. If he had simply said something along the lines of, "I can feel that the end of the world will be upon us before too long," he'd be set. That would give him a broad range of time in order for the apocalypse to come about. In the grand scheme of things, 50-100 years isn't very long, so even if he were off by 67.2396 years, he could still say (if he were living, of course), "You see? I told you!" But, no, he didn't go that route. Just as Mr. Camping predicted the end would come on September 6th of 1994 and was wrong, I think anyway, he has predicted it will end tomorrow, May 21st of 2011 and my Magic 8-Ball tells me he will be wrong yet again. I actually asked my Magic 8-Ball, "Is Harold Camping right?" The Ball's exact words were, "Are you really that stupid?" I'll now be curious to see if Camping has it in him to make a third prediction. Regardless, he may be hooked on Michael Stipe and R.E.M. in the next few days. He may be belting out the lyrics to "It's the End of the World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)" until he realizes he was wrong yet again and then transition to "Losing My Religion".

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