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A Saying I’m Sick Of...

Have you ever been talking to someone about a problem in your life and all they come back with is, "Well, you know, everything happens for a reason"? They'll say that or "You know, God has a plan for you."

It reminds me of what a fortune cookie might read or what one's horoscope might say on a particular day. It's like a cop-out line in any conversation where a problem appears. Someone could be watching "The Young and the Restless" while listening to this problem and when their friend stops talking, even without hearing 86% of what was said, they can come back with, "Well, you know, everything happens for a reason" or "God has a plan for you."

Now, I'll be honest, I used to think this quote was truthful, that everything did in fact happen for a reason. I also think it's probably a healthy way to look at things. If someone can just look at everything in life and say to themselves, "Well, I don't know why it happened, but I know it happened for a reason and the good Lord is looking out for me," it'll be a lot easier than someone deeply contemplating if it did happen for any good reason and if so, what that reason was. It's healthier to accept what happened and move forward, as opposed to dwelling on the past.

But, as time has gone on, I've had a harder and harder time believing in these sayings. It's usually only stated before the fact and after the fact, if something positive occurred. If something negative happened, I usually don't hear, "Oh, well, God has a plan for you." After my brain surgery was successful, I don't know how many times I heard the saying, "Craig, God has a plan for you." If the surgery had been unsuccessful and something bad came from it, I doubt I'd be hearing those same lines - "Everything happens for a reason."

In most circumstances, I can see the reason, but there are some scenarios where I can't. What are some examples? The Holocaust. Abuse on any level: Physical, verbal, sexual, mental, emotional, psychological. Hate crimes. Some handicaps and mental disorders. Innocents killed by the death penalty. Rape victims. Homicide victims. Genocides. Victims of drunk driving accidents. What was the reason for the Holocaust? What's the reason for a child to be born with AIDS? What's the reason for an innocent man to be executed by the state? What's the reason for a child being abused? I can't find a reason to any of these scenarios. We can make up some to make us feel better, but in actuality, there was no rhyme or reason to what happened to these people. Because of this, I've altered these sayings just a bit to fit my liking. It's now, "Many things happen for a reason" and "If God had a plan, it was to give humans free will."

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