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I'm Just Going To Come Out and Say It - Twitter Is Stupid

That's right. I said it. Copyright that and quote me. I'll even go so far as to say it again. Twitter is stupid.

I gave the site a gander. As a matter of fact, I've given it two chances. The first go-round, after approximately 15 minutes, I rolled my eyes and canceled my account. A friend of mine persuaded me to give it another look, so I did just that. After a month or two, I really saw no point in tweeting, so I canceled my account for the second and in all likelihood, final time.

What is Twitter? A person is afforded 140 characters to tell the world what is on their mind at that very second. Whether they want to share where it is they're spending their time, what they're drinking, what position they're in with a total stranger they met at a 7-11 or a random word, which may not be completely understood by anyone, they can share the useless information with the world. Tweets can be essentially stolen. Like someone's tweet? Copy that bad boy and post it on your own account as if it were your own. Bravo! Want to make friends? You can set up MySpace and Facebook accounts for that. On Twitter, you have the privilege of earning followers. It may be the only time in a person's life where it is permitted and even encouraged to stalk another.

Aren't we a bunch of narcissists? Do we really think people are going to care what we're drinking at 9:43 pm on a Thursday night? That we have a headache? That we're angry on The Bachelor's final choice? Survey says? Eh, no!

Here are a few examples of tweets:

"I'm bored."

Good for you. Read a book, take a walk, fool around with your blow-up doll to un-bore yourself as opposed to feeling the need to not do much of anything and tell the world about it in an attempt to garner pity for whatever reason.

"Why can't I find someone who loves me?"

Because you're wasting your time tweeting that no one loves you as opposed to going out and potentially meeting that love.

"I'm drinking a martini at a gas station in Craig, Iowa."

That's fantastic. Did you walk there? No? So you drove your car to a gas station and are drinking a martini before driving back? Where is this gas station again? I'm a cop in the area and am about to bust you.

"Charlie Sheen is an idiot."

Indeed and I'm sure he's very hurt that you think so. Who are you again?

That's it. Our days, our moments have been condensed to 140 characters. Imagine if we communicated via Twitter throughout our history. Here would be some of the more memorable tweets:

Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address - "Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposi"

Paul Revere's Ride -
"Listen my children and you shall hear,
Of the midnight ride of Paul Revere,
On the eighteenth of April, in Seventy-five;
Hardly a man is now"

Martin Luther King's "I Have a Dream" speech - "I am happy to join with you today in what will go down in history as the greatest demonstration for freedom in the history of our nation. Fi"

The First Amendment of the U.S. Constitution - "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of sp"

Jesus, with regard to the first two Commandments - "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment"

Ah, how our history would be altered. Weddings would be shortened. Awards would be handed for best and worst tweets. Public speaking courses would no longer be required. Tweeting courses, on the other hand, would be. Road signs would read, "No tweeting allowed".

Thoughts and feelings shouldn't be condensed to any number of characters, let alone just 140. Until one's ultimate demise, his or her thoughts and feelings are infinite and cannot be properly expressed in a 1,200-page book, let alone 140 characters on a Twitter account. I will never express my love to another via a tweet. I will never pretend the world has anything to care about my feeling bored or having a Jack and Coke via a tweet. Twitter just short-changes communication between two or more parties. It prohibits one from expressing genuine emotion. It limits one's thoughts and creativity. Like I said at the outset, Twitter is stupid.

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