The small city of Nelson, Georgia - home of approximately 1,300 residents - saw its city council members unanimously support a bill entitled the Family Protection Ordinance on Monday night.
What is the Family Protection Ordinance exactly? It's a bill that "requires every head of household to own a gun and ammunition to 'provide for the emergency management of the city' and to 'provide for and protect the safety, security and general welfare of the city and its inhabitants."
In other words, it's a mandatory gun ownership bill, or is it?
The bill exempts felons, the mentally disabled, and anyone whom doesn't wish to own a gun.
I have a feeling the Nelson city council members may need to be reminded on just what exactly "mandatory" means. According to the dictionary, the word "mandatory" means "authoritatively ordered; obligatory; compulsory."
If only all laws could be this way, such as the following:
- It's mandatory to go a maximum of 65 mph along the interstate, unless you are known to have a lead-foot, are running late for a porno shoot, or just don't feel like it.
- It's mandatory to wear a helmet while riding a motorcycle, unless you're suicidal, trying to pick up chicks, or think helmets are stupid.
- It's mandatory to pay child-support, unless you're still awaiting the DNA results, believe the child may be a Linda Blair clone from "The Exorcist," or think the child is too spoiled as it is.
Councilman and sponsor of the bill - Duane Cronic - actually said that while the bill likely won't be enforced, it will still make the city of Nelson safer as a result, elaborating on the matter by saying this:
"I likened it to a security sign that people put up in their front yards. Some people have security systems, some people don't, but they put those signs up. I really felt like this ordinance was a security sign for our city. Basically it was a deterrent ordinance to tell potential criminals they might want to go on down the road a little bit."
Yes, because when potential criminals hear about a city's mandatory-but-not-really gun ownership bill passing, that will really prompt them to "go on down the road a little bit."
I imagine a pair of criminals would engage in the following discussion regarding Nelson, Georgia when contemplating on where to next take their services:
Jim-Bob Bucktooth: "So, where should we hit next? I'm almost out of money and want to buy me a Bible, a comb, and a few condoms."
Benjamin Klepto: "Dude, how about Nelson, Georgia?"
Bucktooth: "Nelson? Didn't they pass that law which makes everybody own a gun? Let's go somewhere else..."
Klepto: "Naw, man. The law is just a bunch of words and stuff. It never actually got enforced, so not everyone has a gun. Let's go. I'm sure that there are plenty of Bibles, combs, and condoms available."
Bucktooth: "Seriously? Why'd they pass the law then?"
Klepto: "Supposedly to scare guys like us away..."
Bucktooth: "Didn't they know many criminals can hear and read?"
Klepto: "I guess not..."
Bucktooth: "Idiots..."
Klepto: "For sure... Let's do this!"
http://thinkprogress.org/justice/2013/04/02/1808001/georgia-mandatory-gun/
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/01/nelson-georgia-family-protection-ordinance_n_2995657.html
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/mandatory?s=t
What is the Family Protection Ordinance exactly? It's a bill that "requires every head of household to own a gun and ammunition to 'provide for the emergency management of the city' and to 'provide for and protect the safety, security and general welfare of the city and its inhabitants."
In other words, it's a mandatory gun ownership bill, or is it?
The bill exempts felons, the mentally disabled, and anyone whom doesn't wish to own a gun.
I have a feeling the Nelson city council members may need to be reminded on just what exactly "mandatory" means. According to the dictionary, the word "mandatory" means "authoritatively ordered; obligatory; compulsory."
If only all laws could be this way, such as the following:
- It's mandatory to go a maximum of 65 mph along the interstate, unless you are known to have a lead-foot, are running late for a porno shoot, or just don't feel like it.
- It's mandatory to wear a helmet while riding a motorcycle, unless you're suicidal, trying to pick up chicks, or think helmets are stupid.
- It's mandatory to pay child-support, unless you're still awaiting the DNA results, believe the child may be a Linda Blair clone from "The Exorcist," or think the child is too spoiled as it is.
Councilman and sponsor of the bill - Duane Cronic - actually said that while the bill likely won't be enforced, it will still make the city of Nelson safer as a result, elaborating on the matter by saying this:
"I likened it to a security sign that people put up in their front yards. Some people have security systems, some people don't, but they put those signs up. I really felt like this ordinance was a security sign for our city. Basically it was a deterrent ordinance to tell potential criminals they might want to go on down the road a little bit."
Yes, because when potential criminals hear about a city's mandatory-but-not-really gun ownership bill passing, that will really prompt them to "go on down the road a little bit."
I imagine a pair of criminals would engage in the following discussion regarding Nelson, Georgia when contemplating on where to next take their services:
Jim-Bob Bucktooth: "So, where should we hit next? I'm almost out of money and want to buy me a Bible, a comb, and a few condoms."
Benjamin Klepto: "Dude, how about Nelson, Georgia?"
Bucktooth: "Nelson? Didn't they pass that law which makes everybody own a gun? Let's go somewhere else..."
Klepto: "Naw, man. The law is just a bunch of words and stuff. It never actually got enforced, so not everyone has a gun. Let's go. I'm sure that there are plenty of Bibles, combs, and condoms available."
Bucktooth: "Seriously? Why'd they pass the law then?"
Klepto: "Supposedly to scare guys like us away..."
Bucktooth: "Didn't they know many criminals can hear and read?"
Klepto: "I guess not..."
Bucktooth: "Idiots..."
Klepto: "For sure... Let's do this!"
http://thinkprogress.org/justice/2013/04/02/1808001/georgia-mandatory-gun/
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/01/nelson-georgia-family-protection-ordinance_n_2995657.html
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/mandatory?s=t
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