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Washington Post writers feel Obama needs to "charm" Congress

Juliet Eilperin and Zachary A. Goldfarb of The Washington Post just wrote an article which has me simultaneously chuckling and scratching my head. The title of the article is, "After string of setbacks, more charm may be the last, best option for Obama."

In the article, the following is written:

"After more than four years in the White House and weeks into his latest effort to woo lawmakers, Obama still isn't very good at using his personal charm to achieve political success. Yet, it may be one of the few strategies the president has left if he hopes to accomplish his remaining second-term priorities, including a sweeping budget deal and a comprehensive immigration bill."

Charm? Really? President Obama's best hope at accomplishing his second-term goals is to charm Congress? Okay... So, how is he to do this exactly? How does Obama "charm" Congress?

According to one website, the following are all examples of how to charm a person. I will be sure to follow up these examples with my own personal touch. Here's the list:

1) "Be genuinely interested in people"

Obama needs to be "genuinely" interested in a group of people that has a lower approval rating than people who train dogs named Snoopy to fight? ...and a group of people that seems to bad-mouth him on every given occasion? If Obama can pull that off, perhaps he's destined for Hollywood following his second term.

2) "Remember people's names when you meet them for the first time"

There are many members of Congress. Perhaps name-tags will help, along with a meet-and-greet session reminiscent of certain classes in school, where the teacher makes every student stand up, say what their name is and one thing about themselves. Odds are that most House Republicans will say one of three things: 1) "I love guns," 2) "I love Jesus," and 3) "I hate Obama."

3) "Assume rapport"

This may be difficult due to most members of Congress probably thinking "rapport" is either in reference to the actor (Michael Rapaport) or hip-hop music.

4) "Smile with your eyes"

I, for one, have never learned how to smile with my eyes, but receive a creepy image upon thinking about it. Perhaps the president would be best served to just place smiley-face stickers underneath both his eyes when speaking to members of Congress. Yes, that will go over well.

5) "Take into account topics that interest those around you, even if you're not so keen on them"

The president has gone golfing, bowling, and skeet shooting. Perhaps it's time for John Boehner and Mitch McConnell to join the president on the basketball court. 

6) "Control your tone of voice"

Like with #1, if in the face of being called radical, a Muslim, a socialist, a Kenyan, Hitler- and Stalin-like, etc., the president can control his tone of voice, he may be well on his way to an Oscar.

7) "Watch the way you phrase things"

Literally? That's impossible. Figuratively? What, like the smooth-talking former President George W. Bush did? If so, the late night talk show hosts thank you for the advice.

8) "Issue compliments generously; this especially raises others' self esteem"

"I have to tell you, John (Boehner), that tan is really looking great this year. I've always wanted to pull off the Snooki orange look, but could never do so, unfortunately."

"Mitch (McConnell) - you are an inspiration to us all. It was truly inspiring how you never gave up when racing the hare. From the bottom of my heart, thank you."

9)  "Be gracious in accepting compliments"

I could be wrong, but I don't think the president has to worry about receiving compliments from Congressional Republicans...

10) "Praise others instead of gossiping"

"Paul (Ryan) - instead of speaking your praises behind your back, I'm going to speak them in front of Congress and the nation - you are a very well put together man with a unique face that screams Screech Powers meets Village of the Dam*ed. You're welcome."

11) "Sometimes being charming is about simply being a good listener"

Ah, yes, that always works. Case and point - the recent background check bill, where the following series of events ensued:

Poll: 90% of Americans believe in expanding background checks on gun purchases

President: "I hear you loud and clear, America, and I will try to pass legislation expanding those very background checks!"

Senate: "We can't hear you!"

Bill: Falls short of the 60 votes required to avoid the filibuster

President: "Ah, I hear you all too, and the voices of 46 elected senators are far greater than the 286 million American citizens whom support such legislation."

http://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/after-string-of-setbacks-more-charm-may-be-the-last-best-option-for-obama/2013/04/28/03e911a6-ad01-11e2-a8b9-2a63d75b5459_story.html?hpid=z2

http://www.wikihow.com/Be-Charming

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