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The story of Buster Magnum - a felon without a job or Sudafed, but with plenty of guns

Main character: Buster Magnum, who just got out of jail for committing gun- and meth-related crimes

 Setting: Pharmacy

Buster Magnum: "Hey, I'd like to get some Sudafed please."

Pharmacist Cindy Chu: "I'll need to see some ID."

Magnum: "ID? I don't have any ID. I just got out of jail and have really bad, um, allergies."

Chu: "I'm sorry, sir, but I won't be able to provide you with any Sudafed until you show me some ID."


Setting: Job interview to become a greeter at Wal-Mart

Interviewer Chip Filet: "Good afternoon, Mr. Magnum. So, tell me, what interested you in this position?"

Magnum: "I just got out of jail. I need a job. I thought even with my history, I could get this job."

Filet: "I see... So, if I may ask, what were you in jail for?"

Magnum: "I had a meth lab in my grandma's garage. I did a lot of that stuff, and sold it too. When I was high on it one time, I just busted out a couple of my Magnums and killed some people. Drugs will mess you up, man."

Filet: "I see. When's the last time you've done drugs?"

Magnum: "This morning."

Filet: "Well, Mr. Magnum, while I believe in second chances, I honestly don't think this is the place for you."

Magnum: "What? Are you serious? I'm gonna..."

Filet: "SECURITY!"


Setting: A gun show in Hicktown, KY

Gun dealer Jimmy Bobo: "Whatcha lookin' for?"

Magnum: "Guns!"

Bobo: "Well, you came to the right place! What kind of guns are you thinking about getting?"

Magnum: "Some Magnums and assault rifles"

Bobo: "Well, I have plenty of those. Here are the Magnums over here and the assault rifles are just a little past those."

Magnum: "Beautiful"

Bobo: "I know. Aren't they? So, how many would you like to buy today?"

Magnum: "What's the limit?"

Bobo: "There's no limit! Buy as many as you'd like."

Magnum: "Crap. I forgot my ID. I..."

Bobo: "Don't worry about that. Why on earth would we do a background check?"

Magnum: "I know, right?" ::laughs::
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