Skip to main content

The story of Buster Magnum - a felon without a job or Sudafed, but with plenty of guns

Main character: Buster Magnum, who just got out of jail for committing gun- and meth-related crimes

 Setting: Pharmacy

Buster Magnum: "Hey, I'd like to get some Sudafed please."

Pharmacist Cindy Chu: "I'll need to see some ID."

Magnum: "ID? I don't have any ID. I just got out of jail and have really bad, um, allergies."

Chu: "I'm sorry, sir, but I won't be able to provide you with any Sudafed until you show me some ID."


Setting: Job interview to become a greeter at Wal-Mart

Interviewer Chip Filet: "Good afternoon, Mr. Magnum. So, tell me, what interested you in this position?"

Magnum: "I just got out of jail. I need a job. I thought even with my history, I could get this job."

Filet: "I see... So, if I may ask, what were you in jail for?"

Magnum: "I had a meth lab in my grandma's garage. I did a lot of that stuff, and sold it too. When I was high on it one time, I just busted out a couple of my Magnums and killed some people. Drugs will mess you up, man."

Filet: "I see. When's the last time you've done drugs?"

Magnum: "This morning."

Filet: "Well, Mr. Magnum, while I believe in second chances, I honestly don't think this is the place for you."

Magnum: "What? Are you serious? I'm gonna..."

Filet: "SECURITY!"


Setting: A gun show in Hicktown, KY

Gun dealer Jimmy Bobo: "Whatcha lookin' for?"

Magnum: "Guns!"

Bobo: "Well, you came to the right place! What kind of guns are you thinking about getting?"

Magnum: "Some Magnums and assault rifles"

Bobo: "Well, I have plenty of those. Here are the Magnums over here and the assault rifles are just a little past those."

Magnum: "Beautiful"

Bobo: "I know. Aren't they? So, how many would you like to buy today?"

Magnum: "What's the limit?"

Bobo: "There's no limit! Buy as many as you'd like."

Magnum: "Crap. I forgot my ID. I..."

Bobo: "Don't worry about that. Why on earth would we do a background check?"

Magnum: "I know, right?" ::laughs::
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Boycotting jukeboxes because of TouchTunes

I love music and enjoy hitting the bar(s) over the weekend, so naturally, when the mood strikes me, I've never been coy about playing some songs on the jukebox. This past Thursday, a friend of mine turned 50, so several friends of her's, including myself, all met up to celebrate the occasion. At around 9:30, a friend of mine and I both chipped in $5 to play some songs on the jukebox. Four hours and 231 skips later, we gave up on hearing the songs we had selected, and went home knowing we had just wasted $5. This wasn't the first time such a thing had happened to me (and many others), and due to that, I'll be boycotting jukeboxes. Why? The scam known as TouchTunes. You see, here's how the plot typically breaks down. A person (or group of people) downloads the TouchTunes app on his/her phone, consumes one too many adult beverages, and due to this, has less care for spending extra money to hear the songs of their choosing right NOW. That's the thing with TouchTun...
2 comments
Read more

The difference between "looking" and "checking out"

I may be way off with these numbers, but it's my approximation that at least 75% of individuals whom are involved in a serious relationship feel it's perfectly acceptable to "check out" members of the opposite sex they're not involved with. Meanwhile, approximately 25% either don't feel this is acceptable or aren't sure about the matter. I hadn't thought about this matter for a while, but since I've been dating a woman for about 8 months, the topic has been pondered about some. When reading or hearing others discuss this very issue, I often times hear comments similar to the following: "It's human nature to look." "There's nothing wrong with checking others out. I'm sure he/she does it too!" "It's fine to do it. Just don't tell your boyfriend/girlfriend about it or do it in front of them!" "It's natural to find people attractive." When observing the array of comments, I i...
Post a Comment
Read more