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The good-manner vote

Ohio Republican Senatorial candidate Josh Mandel has a new ad out which I find to be amusing. In this ad, a woman compliments Mandel on his "good manners." I'm not saying that having good manners is a bad thing, but I still found the clip to be humorous.

In so many ads, we hear about one candidate having more quality government experience than the other, of being endorsed by reputable groups and people such as the NRA and a deceased Ronald Reagan. We're then struck by negative commentary regarding the opposing candidate, as he or she gets pummeled by accusations of cheating on their taxes to being anti-American to punching random people at nursing homes. Then we're told by a woman to vote for a guy because he has "good manners." Really? When was the last time a candidate won an election based on the good-manner vote, if there ever was such a thing?

Yes, a Gallup poll just reported that these issues are the most important to voters:

1) Creating jobs - 48.2%
2) Equal rights for all - 16.8%
3) Abortion - 9.1%
4) Taxes - 8.9%
5) Good manners - 8.7%
All others - 8.3%

In light of Mandel's ad and the make-believe Gallup poll, I'm going to one day run for office and release the following ad:

"He usually doesn't eat with his elbows on the table. When his mouth is full of hot wings, he won't open it to speak. When he's bored, he'll go to the mall to open the front door to complete strangers - the elderly, handicapped and annoying teeny-boppers. The only place he's ever farted is in the bathroom with no one else, even his dog, around. Before punching someone in the face, he always says, 'Pardon me.' Lastly, whenever he's been drunk at a bar and wanted to engage in a one-night stand with a woman, he's always politely asked her, 'Excuse me, miss? May I please penetrate you tonight?' He may not have any experience in government, but the guy has a doctorate's in good manners. Vote Craig Rozniecki. He'd make your great-grandmother proud. I'm Craig Rozniecki and I approve this message."

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