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Duck Dynasty's Phil Robertson gets "gay" (happy) talking about gays

Remember when Duck Dynasty's Phil Robertson was interviewed by GQ magazine and how well that went? Well, the man with fewer brain cells than a drunken pirate has fingers has decided to go "gay" over gays yet again when he recently spoke on the radio with Family Research Council's Tony Perkins about the subject. In this very discussion, Robertson let his wisdom be known with the following quotes:

- "Do you think it's a coincidence that all of these debilitating - literally that can cause death - diseases follow that kind of conduct?"

- "God says, 'One woman, one man,' and everyone says, 'Oh, that's old hat, that's that old Bible stuff. But I'm thinking, well let's see now. A clean guy - a disease-free guy and a disease-free woman - they marry and they keep their sex between the two of them. They're not going to get chlamydia, and gonorrhea, and syphilis, and AIDS. It's safe."

- "Either it's the wildest coincidence ever that horrible diseases follow immoral conduct, or, it's God saying, 'There's a penalty for that kind of conduct.' I'm leaning towards there's a penalty for it."

First off, Mr. Robertson may want to read the Bible again, for there are many "Biblical" marriages other than just one man, one woman, as he contends.

1) Polygamous Marriage - the most common form of marriage in the Bible (one man and many women)

2) Levirate Marriage - can be found in Genesis 38:6-10

3) A man, a woman and her property - a female slave - can be found in Genesis 16:1-6 and Genesis 30:4-5

4) A man, one or more wives, and some concubines - can be found in Judges 19:1-30

5) A male soldier and a female prisoner of war - can be found in Deuteronomy 21:11-14

6) A male rapist and his victim - can be found in Deuteronomy 22:28-29

7) A male and female slave

8) Monogamous, heterosexual marriage

So, congratulations, Mr. Robertson - you've correctly listed one of at least eight different types of Biblical marriages. For that, you will receive a 12.5% grade, or an "F."

Secondly, if Robertson were speaking about "debilitating" conditions in general, then what "conduct" warranted people contracting: Different kinds of cancer, leukemia, multiple sclerosis, Alzheimer's, epilepsy, etc.? Especially in children? If a friend or family member of his contracted a fatal form of cancer, would he seriously look the person in the eyes and say, "Well, I don't know what to tell you, but you must have done served God wrong, you know what I'm saying? I'm here for and love ya, but you musta pissed God off somehow"? I highly doubt it.

Lastly, if Robertson was only speaking about sexually-transmitted diseases, he'd be wrong there as well. A cousin of mine contracted AIDS with an apparently unclean needle which was used on her for treatment while in Africa. Sadly, she's not the only one whom has had to endure such an experience.

"Either it's the wildest coincidence ever that horrible diseases follow immoral conduct, or, it's God saying, 'There's a penalty for that kind of conduct.' I'm leaning towards there's a penalty for it."

It must be the wildest coincidence ever that whenever Phil Robertson speaks, regular listeners' IQs drop 5 points, including his own, and non-regular listeners simultaneously reach for some Excedrin.

http://thinkprogress.org/lgbt/2014/09/10/3565585/duck-dynasty-stds/

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/unreasonablefaith/2009/04/the-varieties-of-biblical-marriage/

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