Since it's getting close to the weekend, I feel like lightening things up a bit with a joke. :: clears throat :: So, did you hear the one about a former potential vice president and her family getting into a brawl at a birthday party with a bunch of competitive snowmobile racers? No? Well, you're in for a treat, because it's actually true.
A couple of weekends ago, Sarah Palin and her family attended a birthday party in Anchorage, where more competitive snowmobile racers were present than in the rest of the country combined. Yes, this included her husband, Todd. Things appeared to be going well for a while, but that all changed when Sarah's son, Track, allegedly confronted his sister Willow's ex-boyfriend. You know what? I think I'd be better off telling this story in a setting where I feel it'd be most appropriate - The Jerry Springer Show.
Audience: "Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!"
Jerry Springer: "Thank you, and welcome to the show. I'm your host, Jerry Springer, and boy, do I have a classic show in the making for you today. Today, I will be talking to the family of former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin, as well as one of the ex-boyfriends of her daughter, Willow."
Audience: "Ooh!"
Springer: "I know... Well, enough beating around the McCain, I mean, the 'Bush...'"
Audience: :: laughter ::
Springer: "Ha-ha. I make myself laugh sometimes. Well, anyway, let's bring out Sarah's son and Willow's brother, Track."
Audience: :: applause ::
Springer: "So, Track, how are you doing today?"
Track Palin: "Honestly, I feel right at home here."
Springer: "That's what I kind of figured."
Track: "What?!? Have you got a problem? Do you wanna go?"
Springer: "Not really. Speaking of which, though, what are your thoughts on Willow's ex-boyfriend, Connor Cleary?"
Track: "Really? You wanna go there?"
Springer: "I just did. So, anyway, how do you feel about Connor?"
Track: "If I ever see that mother(bleeper) again, I'll kick his (bleeping) (bleep) to Russia and back!"
Springer: "That's not very far since you can see Russia from your house, right?"
Track: "You think that's funny?"
Springer: "Yes, actually... Well, anyway, why don't you go on backstage now and we'll call you out again rather shortly. We've got a bit of a hillbilly birthday surprise for you. Speaking of which, help yourself to some Busch Light while you're back there."
Track: :: looks angry and walks away ::
Springer: "On that note, let's bring out Connor Cleary..."
Audience: :: applause ::
Springer: "So, Connor, how's it going today?"
Connor Cleary: "Okay, I guess. Why am I here again?"
Springer: "You'll find out shortly enough. So, tell me, how do you feel about the Palin's?"
Connor: "Eh... I try to stay friendly, especially with my ex, Willow, but they're difficult to get along with sometimes."
Springer: "What about Track? Do you get along with him okay?"
Connor: "I don't think he likes me very much. He's okay, though, I guess, when he's not drinking."
Springer: "Well, then, so, what do you think, ladies and gentlemen? Should we bring him out?"
Audience: "Yeah! Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!"
Springer: "Okay... Come on back out, Track..."
Track: :: runs toward Connor :: "What the (bleep) are you doing here? You (bleeping) (bleep)! I'm going to (bleeping) get you!" :: throws a chair at him ::
Springer: "Remember, this is a family show. Let's cut it out with those swear words."
Track: "(Bleep) you!" :: throws a couple of jabs at Track ::
Springer: "So much for that family-show comment..."
Audience: :: laughs ::
Springer: "I know - I'm on a roll today! Well, on that note, let's welcome to the show, the former Alaska Governor's husband, Todd!"
Todd Palin: :: joins the fight and starts wailing on Connor :: "What the (bleep)? What the (bleep) is this (bleep)?" :: picks up a chair and drops it, before sitting down on it and starts drinking another Busch Light :: "Where the (bleep) am I?"
Springer: "Did I not tell you this show was going to be a classic? Let's keep it going, shall we? Let's bring out Sarah Palin!"
Sarah Palin: :: sees the fighting going on :: "What the gosh darn h-e double hockey sticks are you doing, Connor? Don't you know my son is a vet?!? He'll kick your butt to Tenbucktoo or whatever that place is - you betcha!"
Springer: "Let's keep adding to this reunion! Sarah's daughter, Bristol, is next on the list. Bristol, come on out here!"
Bristol Palin: "Not that sad (bleep) again!" :: goes up to him and gives him multiple nasty hooks ::
Todd: :: gets back into the fight, punching with one hand and drinking his beer with the other ::
Connor: :: fights back, punches Todd and gives him a bloody nose in the process ::
Todd: "Ow! Well, (bleep), you made me drop my beer! You son of a (bleep)!"
Connor: :: gives track some nasty uppercuts to the ribs ::
Springer: "Okay, that's enough. Security?!? Break it up..."
Track: ::flips off Connor 23 times ::
Connor: "How do your ribs feel, (bleep)?"
Track: "(Bleep) you! How's the rest of you's feel, uh, yeah?!?"
Connor: "Good one..."
Todd: "Hey! I want another beer, and a snowmobile!"
Sarah: "You're darn tootin', honey!"
Springer: "Okay, okay... Let's get this loving family out of here before someone gets killed. While there may be some melees here at the Jerry Springer Show, our number one priority is to keep people safe. That brings me to my final thought. Folks, while so many things in this world divides us - from politics to religion to the Twilight series, like we witnessed today, family is what brings us together. While we may have disagreements with family here and there, and wind up with a bloody nose or bruised ribs in the process, no matter how sore or bloody we are, our family will be there for us - to help pick us up after they knocked us down. So, I say, love and respect your family, and cherish all of those special little moments you have with them, because there may come a day when you'll look in the mirror, see that you don't have a bloody nose, and start crying, because you realize that brother-in-law who used to throw a few punches at you for beating him in Yahtzee is no longer there to do that. ...and as always, take care of yourselves, and each other."
http://www.realclearpolitics.com/articles/2014/09/13/the_palin_familys_side_of_the_anchorage_brawl_story_123964.html
http://sarahpalinhasaserpentsheart.blogspot.com/2014/09/willow-palins-ex-boyfriend-conner.html?showComment=1411044782701
A couple of weekends ago, Sarah Palin and her family attended a birthday party in Anchorage, where more competitive snowmobile racers were present than in the rest of the country combined. Yes, this included her husband, Todd. Things appeared to be going well for a while, but that all changed when Sarah's son, Track, allegedly confronted his sister Willow's ex-boyfriend. You know what? I think I'd be better off telling this story in a setting where I feel it'd be most appropriate - The Jerry Springer Show.
Audience: "Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!"
Jerry Springer: "Thank you, and welcome to the show. I'm your host, Jerry Springer, and boy, do I have a classic show in the making for you today. Today, I will be talking to the family of former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin, as well as one of the ex-boyfriends of her daughter, Willow."
Audience: "Ooh!"
Springer: "I know... Well, enough beating around the McCain, I mean, the 'Bush...'"
Audience: :: laughter ::
Springer: "Ha-ha. I make myself laugh sometimes. Well, anyway, let's bring out Sarah's son and Willow's brother, Track."
Audience: :: applause ::
Springer: "So, Track, how are you doing today?"
Track Palin: "Honestly, I feel right at home here."
Springer: "That's what I kind of figured."
Track: "What?!? Have you got a problem? Do you wanna go?"
Springer: "Not really. Speaking of which, though, what are your thoughts on Willow's ex-boyfriend, Connor Cleary?"
Track: "Really? You wanna go there?"
Springer: "I just did. So, anyway, how do you feel about Connor?"
Track: "If I ever see that mother(bleeper) again, I'll kick his (bleeping) (bleep) to Russia and back!"
Springer: "That's not very far since you can see Russia from your house, right?"
Track: "You think that's funny?"
Springer: "Yes, actually... Well, anyway, why don't you go on backstage now and we'll call you out again rather shortly. We've got a bit of a hillbilly birthday surprise for you. Speaking of which, help yourself to some Busch Light while you're back there."
Track: :: looks angry and walks away ::
Springer: "On that note, let's bring out Connor Cleary..."
Audience: :: applause ::
Springer: "So, Connor, how's it going today?"
Connor Cleary: "Okay, I guess. Why am I here again?"
Springer: "You'll find out shortly enough. So, tell me, how do you feel about the Palin's?"
Connor: "Eh... I try to stay friendly, especially with my ex, Willow, but they're difficult to get along with sometimes."
Springer: "What about Track? Do you get along with him okay?"
Connor: "I don't think he likes me very much. He's okay, though, I guess, when he's not drinking."
Springer: "Well, then, so, what do you think, ladies and gentlemen? Should we bring him out?"
Audience: "Yeah! Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!"
Springer: "Okay... Come on back out, Track..."
Track: :: runs toward Connor :: "What the (bleep) are you doing here? You (bleeping) (bleep)! I'm going to (bleeping) get you!" :: throws a chair at him ::
Springer: "Remember, this is a family show. Let's cut it out with those swear words."
Track: "(Bleep) you!" :: throws a couple of jabs at Track ::
Springer: "So much for that family-show comment..."
Audience: :: laughs ::
Springer: "I know - I'm on a roll today! Well, on that note, let's welcome to the show, the former Alaska Governor's husband, Todd!"
Todd Palin: :: joins the fight and starts wailing on Connor :: "What the (bleep)? What the (bleep) is this (bleep)?" :: picks up a chair and drops it, before sitting down on it and starts drinking another Busch Light :: "Where the (bleep) am I?"
Springer: "Did I not tell you this show was going to be a classic? Let's keep it going, shall we? Let's bring out Sarah Palin!"
Sarah Palin: :: sees the fighting going on :: "What the gosh darn h-e double hockey sticks are you doing, Connor? Don't you know my son is a vet?!? He'll kick your butt to Tenbucktoo or whatever that place is - you betcha!"
Springer: "Let's keep adding to this reunion! Sarah's daughter, Bristol, is next on the list. Bristol, come on out here!"
Bristol Palin: "Not that sad (bleep) again!" :: goes up to him and gives him multiple nasty hooks ::
Todd: :: gets back into the fight, punching with one hand and drinking his beer with the other ::
Connor: :: fights back, punches Todd and gives him a bloody nose in the process ::
Todd: "Ow! Well, (bleep), you made me drop my beer! You son of a (bleep)!"
Connor: :: gives track some nasty uppercuts to the ribs ::
Springer: "Okay, that's enough. Security?!? Break it up..."
Track: ::flips off Connor 23 times ::
Connor: "How do your ribs feel, (bleep)?"
Track: "(Bleep) you! How's the rest of you's feel, uh, yeah?!?"
Connor: "Good one..."
Todd: "Hey! I want another beer, and a snowmobile!"
Sarah: "You're darn tootin', honey!"
Springer: "Okay, okay... Let's get this loving family out of here before someone gets killed. While there may be some melees here at the Jerry Springer Show, our number one priority is to keep people safe. That brings me to my final thought. Folks, while so many things in this world divides us - from politics to religion to the Twilight series, like we witnessed today, family is what brings us together. While we may have disagreements with family here and there, and wind up with a bloody nose or bruised ribs in the process, no matter how sore or bloody we are, our family will be there for us - to help pick us up after they knocked us down. So, I say, love and respect your family, and cherish all of those special little moments you have with them, because there may come a day when you'll look in the mirror, see that you don't have a bloody nose, and start crying, because you realize that brother-in-law who used to throw a few punches at you for beating him in Yahtzee is no longer there to do that. ...and as always, take care of yourselves, and each other."
http://www.realclearpolitics.com/articles/2014/09/13/the_palin_familys_side_of_the_anchorage_brawl_story_123964.html
http://sarahpalinhasaserpentsheart.blogspot.com/2014/09/willow-palins-ex-boyfriend-conner.html?showComment=1411044782701
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