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Sarcastic Online IQ Test

It amazes me how so many Facebook friends of mine have IQs of 140 or above. Have you ever seen these tests? Many of them consist of between 5 and 10 rather simple questions, and based on this very small sample, it can accurately determine a person's IQ. I know - it's really the darnedest of things. It reminds me of the time I had a College Algebra final to take, answered all five questions correctly, and my teacher then proudly shook my hand and said, "It's official - you're a genius, Craig!" Thank you. Thank you very much.

So, here is my rendition of an online IQ test. Feel free to take the test at home and just remember, if you answer every question correctly, it's safe to say your IQ is at a genius' level. Here we go...

1) What is your name? (Note: So long as you write something down, anything, you will be correct.)


2) What is the capital city of any state in the United States? (Note: You can pick any of the fifty states. You may even use Oklahoma City, Oklahoma or Dover, Delaware for your answer.)


3) In what city do the Chicago Cubs play their home games?

A) Detroit

B) Punxsutawney

C) London

D) Chicago

E) All of the Above


4) What is the letter that comes directly between A and C?

A) A

B) C

C) J

D) B

E) 3


5) True or false: 2 + 2 =119?


6) If you take three steps forward and then three steps backward, how many total steps have you taken?

A) 0

B) 6

C) 12

D) 24

E) $1.14


7) If a woman by the name of Sheila Johnson marries a man by the name of Edward Kochnballs and decides to take his last name, what will her new name be?

A) Sheila

B) Sheila-Edward

C) Sheila-Edward Johnson

D) Sheila Kochnballs

E) Sheila WhydidIdothis


8) "Michael" is an example of a what?

A) A noun

B) A verb

C) An adjective

D) A jerk I used to date

E) Both A) and D) (Note: This answer will be accepted if you can provide proof)


9) What description best represents Earth?

A) Round

B) Flat

C) Octagonal

D) Pentagonal

E) Texas


10) For what sense is your nose responsible?

A) Sight

B) Hearing

C) Taste

D) Smell

E) Foreplay

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