"Helpless" (a poem I wrote)

Here's a poem I wrote, entitled "Helpless," which can be found on pages 36-37 of my book, "Seasons Come, People Grow: A Poetic Journey" (2006). This poem revolves around my lifelong battle with epilepsy and attempts to give the reader a sense of what it's like to endure a seizure.

Living on a timeline,
Every sixty seconds in a minute,
Every sixty minutes in an hour,
Never knowing when it'll come,

I try to go about life as I typically would,
Relax, smile, and have fun,
But tense and saddening emotions come over me,
As I'm taken over by someone,

I feel it in my head,
Everywhere in my body,
Wanting it to pass,
But knowing what lies ahead of me,

My eyes close tightly,
My hands clench,
Sweat dripping off my face,
Feeling like an out-of-body experience,

My mind has lost all consciousness,
All focus,
All concentration,
All responsiveness,

I lay there like a vegetable,
Unable to think,
Even though I'm breathing,
And am wide awake,

I lay there motionless,
Dead inside and out,
Helpless am I,
To this world and myself.