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The Top Ten Post-Presidential Jobs For George W. Bush


Former President George W. Bush was in office for eight full years (very long ones at that) and as I’m sure is the case for many others, I haven’t heard much about Dubya since Barack Obama was elected president. I think the ex-president could use some advice on what he should do with himself now that he’s out of the Oval Office (thank God!).

10. Professional pretzel taste-tester.

9. Philosopher with the newfound theory, "You're either with me or against me!"

8. A cast member on Survivor, finding a way to rig the vote so that he's not voted off the island.

7. Follow in O.J.'s footsteps in his lifelong quest of finding the killer and make it his lifelong quest to find weapons of mass destruction in Iraq.

6. Horse trainer (with possible promotion to head of FEMA)

5. Owner of the Houston Astros, trading away pitchers: Roger Clemens, Roy Oswalt, Andy Pettitte and Brad Lidge for some top-of-the-line (pun intended) coke.

4. Author the book, A Dummy's Guide to Becoming President.

3. Along with conservative buddy, Bill O'Reilly, create a 900-hotline, called Hot and 'Nuculur'."

2. Become founder and president of AOL (America Online) rival, AWOL.

1. (drum roll) Open a new national chain of restaurants called Barbecue Bush.
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