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If gay marriage gets legalized, Christians are in trouble! ...so says Fox News...

Far-right die-hards in the media seem to be obsessed with the end of the world. Perhaps it's because they're somewhat suicidal, yet feel they won't go to heaven if they commit such an act, so they hope someone either ends the world so they rise up to heaven or Jesus comes again and takes them away from this God-awful place (how I never understood that phrase...). Perhaps they're tripping acid quite regularly and as a result, are more coo-coo for Cocoa Puffs than Hugh Hefner is disease-ridden and horny. There are a number of possibilities. The reason I bring this up is due to what Fox News contributors Todd Starnes and Erick Erickson had to say recently regarding the Supreme Court's pending gay-marriage rights decision.

When speaking on American Family Radio, Starnes said the following:

"You know, it's as if we're second-class citizens now (Christians) because we support the traditional, Biblical definition of marriage, or perhaps we are pro-life, and that means we're somehow second-class citizens who don't deserve to be in the public marketplace of ideas."

The "Biblical" definition? Seriously? Which one? When a woman without children becomes a widow and is therefore required to marry her brother-in-law? Or the one where a man can legally marry multiple women and have some concubines on the side as well? Or how about the one where if a female virgin gets raped, she's to marry the rapist? Please specify on which Biblical marriage you're referring to, Mr. Starnes...

Erickson, meanwhile, wrote the following bit on the right-wing blog RedState:

"Any Christian who refuses to recognize that man wants to upend God's order will have to be driven from the national conversation. They will be labeled bigots and ultimately criminals... Once the world decides that real marriage is something other than natural or Godly, those who would point it out must be silenced and, if not, punished. The state must be used to do this. Consequently, the libertarian pipe dream of getting government out of marriage can never ever be possible.

Within a year or two we will see Christian schools attacked for refusing to admit students whose parents are gay. We will see churches suffer the loss of their tax exempt status for refusing to hold gay weddings. We will see private businesses shut down because they refuse to treat as legitimate that which perverts God's own established plan. In some places this is already happening."

Yes, that's right - if gay marriage gets legalized nationwide, the world as we know it is going to end, especially for Christians! If gay marriage gets legalized nationwide, this is what Christians will have to face! Brace yourselves!

If gay marriage gets legalized nationwide...

...churches will be required to have a gay male greeter, who is a fashion expert and critic, will be provided a microphone, a camera-person, and will then write a weekly column on the church-goers fashion-sense (or lack there of). 

...churches will be forced to hold a Bible-study once a week where all they do is watch the Bravo channel.

...churches will be required to include the following songs in their hymnals: "Faith" (George Michael version), "Don't Let Your Son Go Down On Me" (alteration of the Elton John song), "I Touch Myself," "Y.M.C.A.," and "Macho Man" (okay, every song off the Village People's Greatest Hits album).

...churches will be required to showcase at least one crucifix where Jesus has a tattoo of a rainbow along his chest (from nipple to nipple).

...churches will have to actually practice what they preach, in treating and loving homosexuals as they would anyone else, for as Jesus said in the book of John 13:34-35, "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." Amen.

http://thinkprogress.org/lgbt/2013/03/26/1776861/fox-news-contributors-say-marriage-equality-would-criminalize-christianity/

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John+13%3A34-35&version=NIV

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