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Trainers take note: Extreme dieting and exercise is not the way to go

Not long after I moved to Columbus, Ohio from Omaha, Nebraska in the late-winter of 2008, I decided to finally make some changes in my life to improve both my health and appearance, and with that, my confidence. I didn't go to any gyms or hire any trainers. I simply made some common sense changes, like going from soda pop and Gatorade to water, and from fried food (meat) to grilled, and working out more. Just with the water change alone, I lost approximately 5 lbs. my first week. Without even working out a great deal, I lost a good 25 lbs. just with the alterations in eating and drinking habits. Following my health struggles for two years, I put things in overdrive as far as exercise was concerned and lost another 25 lbs. (I had gained about 5 lbs. in those two years where I was ill). I eventually learned that so long as I didn't regress to my awful habits of old, eating and drinking certain things was alright, so long as it was done in moderation.

Well, my girlfriend has decided to join a gym and even spend a little extra for a "meal plan," to help achieve her goal weight within the next 6 months. She's been going for just the past two weeks and at this point last week, sounded quite excited in telling me she had already lost 3 lbs. Her eating and drinking habits closely mirrored my own from a few years ago, before I made those changes I mentioned above. Unlike me, who just decided to quit the bad habits cold turkey one day, she's taking more of the baby-step approach. I personally think that's probably the better route. However, as she learned yesterday, it's not good enough for her trainer. Her trainer criticized everything my girlfriend told her - from the improved, but not perfect (whose are, really?) eating habits to the improved drinking habits and beyond. I guess the trainer said, "If you stuck by the meal plan, you would have lost 6 lbs. already." There also wasn't a great deal of encouragement coming from her end either. This led to my girlfriend feeling quite discouraged and wanting to just go out and grab a burger for comfort food.

While I can understand trainers trying to push people more to reach their goals and more quickly, I think this extreme-dieting-and-exercise-all-criticism-no-encouragement jargon isn't the way to go. Here, my girlfriend was feeling some sense of accomplishment. She noticed some positive changes in herself - both from a physical standpoint and a mental standpoint. She felt more energized, slept better, ate at earlier times, ate and drank better, felt better about herself, etc. I too noticed these positive changes upon talking to her and seeing her this past weekend. I made sure to mention these positive changes I observed, because having gone through this process myself, I know how big of a boost that can provide a person - in then knowing they're doing something right. The all-criticism-no-encouragement routine isn't a very effective one for a lot of people. When someone receives nothing but criticism, it's common for them to raise up their hands, think, "I can't do anything right," feel discouraged, and give up as a result. I've found that it's a much more effective tactic to, if one feels the need to criticize another, to make certain they offer some words of encouragement as well. Instead of saying, "You're doing everything wrong," I find it's much more effective to say, "You're definitely on the right track, but I really think we can still improve in this (X) area." This makes the person feel as if they're not wasting their time, energy, and effort, that they're doing something right, yet with the subtle bit of criticism intertwined with that to try and push them a bit further.

I also don't understand the need to fully deprive someone of all they like to eat and drink. Like I said previously, it's about doing things in moderation. The only time I drink soda anymore is once over the weekend if and when I decide to have a cocktail that includes Coca-Cola (Coke Zero often times). The other 6+ days, I don't even think about drinking soda. I may have fast food every now and again, but not most every day like in years past. I may consume such food once a month now. I may enjoy a snack between lunch and dinner once a week. This trainer made it seem as though my girlfriend couldn't enjoy any food she liked from this point forward. I too think that's a mistake, because when one is deprived of all that they enjoy eating and drinking, once they reach their goal weight, they're more apt to going back to the bad habits of old and overcompensating due to that long-term deprivation. This can often times lead to the person not only gaining the weight they lost, but packing on even more pounds to that earlier total.

So, I sincerely hope this trainer doesn't get into my girlfriend's head, to the point where she feels discouraged and gives up, and hope that many others out there don't fall into a similar trap. If, like my girlfriend saw and felt, you see and feel some positive changes in yourself and hear similar observations made by others, just know you're definitely doing something right and to keep up the good work. Don't let an overly-strict-and-critical trainer discourage you any. You know your body better than anyone else and if you start feeling better about it and yourself as a whole, then you're definitely on the right track.

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