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Am I sick? My right side says no. My left side says yes.

This is one of the strangest colds I've ever encountered, if not the strangest. On Friday morning, it felt as though the left side of my throat was sore, but not the right side. I then noticed last night and this morning, only my left nostril and left ear were plugged. My right nostril and ear seemed to be doing fine. So I'm not sure what's going on here. Do I actually have two different personalities or beings lodged inside me - the left and right side?

I'd love to see the look on a doctor's face when talking to him about my symptoms...

Dr. Frankenputz: "So, what's the problem?"

Me: "Well, I feel half-sick. My left side feels sick, but not my right..."

Frankenputz: "Uh...what?"

I'm not sure what the problem is either, fictional doctor. At the rate I'm going, though, I'm predicting I'll get a headache on the left side of my head tomorrow, have a sprained left ankle come Tuesday, feel spasms on the left side of my back on Wednesday, and have my left testicle suddenly go missing on Thursday. The right side of my head, back, my right ankle, and right testicle should be just fine, though, so I've got that going for me, which is nice.

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