The late George Carlin was by far and away my favorite stand-up comedian of all time. I was fortunate enough to see him perform live once, where, about halfway through his performance, I felt pain in my chest and tears stream down my face from laughing so hard. One famous routine he did was called "Al Sleet, the Hippy Dippy weatherman," where he'd say something like this (in a high-as-all-hell type of voice):
"Hey, que pasa? What's happenin'? I mean, que pasa? What's happenin'? I'm Al Sleet, your hippy dippy weatherman, with your hippy dippy forecast, man. Tonight... dark, light in the morning, and the weather will be changing on and off for a very long period of time."
I bring this up because, when he appeared on the Hugh Hewitt radio show, Donald Trump said the following about global warming:
"I'm not a believer in global warming. And I'm not a believer in man-made global warming. It could be warming, and it's going to start to cool at some point. And you know, in the early, in the 1920s, people talked about global cooling. I don't know if you know that or not."
He added:
"I believe there's weather. I believe there's change, and I believe it goes up and it goes down, and it goes up again. And it changes depending on years and centuries, but I am not a believer, and we have much bigger problems."
Yes, Donald Trump may have sounded even higher than the Hippy Dippy Weatherman with these comments.
Combining the two acts, I now present to you the Trumpy Stumpy Weatherman with his first and final forecast:
"So, I guess all you losers want to know what the weather's going to be like, right? Fine, to all you stupid people that can't figure it out for yourselves, here it is. Some days, like today for example, you're going to see white things called clouds. If there are thunderstorms, with like lightning, thunder, and crap, those big clouds are called cunnilingus clouds. Got me so far? Okay... On other days, like maybe tomorrow or the next day or Wednesday or hump day or whatever, it might be sunny, you know, where you can see the sun and stuff. On even other days, you might see both the sun and clouds, so that's what we in the business call kindly sunny, kindly cloudy, practically sunny, or practically cloudy...or mostly and partly, or, whatever... Certain days and months will probably be cooler than the others, so you might wanna wear a jacket, coat, or just go around naked; see if I care. Don't blame me if you get herpes from that, though! I mean, I'm not a doctor, but I am smarter than every doctor in the world combined, so yeah, just sayin'... Where was I? Oh yeah, shut up; I remember! On those warmer or hotter days, you might not want to wear those before-mentioned coats or jackets, unless you're also wearing cool sunglasses and regularly step out of limousines like me, or do lots of drugs. Also, you might want to make note of this: when the sun goes up, it's going to be brighter and warmer than before it went up, so when it goes down, it will be like not as bright or warm. The temperatures will constantly change and stuff too, and these cycles will go on every single day for the rest of your stupid lives. This has been the Trumpy Stumpy weatherman! You're welcome, America!"
http://thinkprogress.org/climate/2015/09/22/3704239/trump-climate-weather-views/
"Hey, que pasa? What's happenin'? I mean, que pasa? What's happenin'? I'm Al Sleet, your hippy dippy weatherman, with your hippy dippy forecast, man. Tonight... dark, light in the morning, and the weather will be changing on and off for a very long period of time."
I bring this up because, when he appeared on the Hugh Hewitt radio show, Donald Trump said the following about global warming:
"I'm not a believer in global warming. And I'm not a believer in man-made global warming. It could be warming, and it's going to start to cool at some point. And you know, in the early, in the 1920s, people talked about global cooling. I don't know if you know that or not."
He added:
"I believe there's weather. I believe there's change, and I believe it goes up and it goes down, and it goes up again. And it changes depending on years and centuries, but I am not a believer, and we have much bigger problems."
Yes, Donald Trump may have sounded even higher than the Hippy Dippy Weatherman with these comments.
Combining the two acts, I now present to you the Trumpy Stumpy Weatherman with his first and final forecast:
"So, I guess all you losers want to know what the weather's going to be like, right? Fine, to all you stupid people that can't figure it out for yourselves, here it is. Some days, like today for example, you're going to see white things called clouds. If there are thunderstorms, with like lightning, thunder, and crap, those big clouds are called cunnilingus clouds. Got me so far? Okay... On other days, like maybe tomorrow or the next day or Wednesday or hump day or whatever, it might be sunny, you know, where you can see the sun and stuff. On even other days, you might see both the sun and clouds, so that's what we in the business call kindly sunny, kindly cloudy, practically sunny, or practically cloudy...or mostly and partly, or, whatever... Certain days and months will probably be cooler than the others, so you might wanna wear a jacket, coat, or just go around naked; see if I care. Don't blame me if you get herpes from that, though! I mean, I'm not a doctor, but I am smarter than every doctor in the world combined, so yeah, just sayin'... Where was I? Oh yeah, shut up; I remember! On those warmer or hotter days, you might not want to wear those before-mentioned coats or jackets, unless you're also wearing cool sunglasses and regularly step out of limousines like me, or do lots of drugs. Also, you might want to make note of this: when the sun goes up, it's going to be brighter and warmer than before it went up, so when it goes down, it will be like not as bright or warm. The temperatures will constantly change and stuff too, and these cycles will go on every single day for the rest of your stupid lives. This has been the Trumpy Stumpy weatherman! You're welcome, America!"
http://thinkprogress.org/climate/2015/09/22/3704239/trump-climate-weather-views/
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